I just realized something the other day. I have turned a corner.
If you have been following my blog and reading my comments, you will notice that “anonymous” recently commented that she didn’t visit it very often because she found my articles too personal and not very inspiring.
This may be funny, but I am truly thankful that she said these words.
What???
Yes, I am truly thankful that she said these words. Why?
It wasn’t long ago that I would have been crushed by such comments. I would have felt that I have been a failure. I didn’t live up to somebody’s expectations. These words would have discouraged me. Honestly, I accepted them for what they were – comments from an anonymous person. Certainly valid for her, but drawing a “so what?” feeling from me. Allow me to explain.
I have learned that only I can be responsible for my own destiny. I can choose to allow the words of others pierce my spirit or I can simply continue doing my best to make this world a better place.
There is a saying that I like. “You may not be anybody to the world, but you may the world to somebody.” I’d like to spend my energies on who I am, not what I am not.
Part of this realization has been through watching the elections in Canada and the United States the past couple of months. Everybody has been attacking the character of everyone else, yet they don’t let these comments define their self worth. If they can take it, then why should I be different?
There will always be people who don’t see things the way I do. Heck, there were people who were critical of Mother Teresa, yet she just went about her business helping the poor in India. She put all her energies into just doing her best at what she was doing instead of worrying about what others thought.
Does that mean that I don’t listen to the advice of others? I do, but people who really care approach me directly in love rather than under the cloak of secrecy. That doesn’t mean I always like what they say, but I do respect the fact that they had the courage to talk to me directly.
Every day I have the choice to do my utmost to reach my highest goals or to listen to the world and let it chop me up.
I see it in some of my students. I asked them the other day, “Has anyone told you that you are special lately?” All of them said that they hadn’t. I then told them that I thought they were special. You could feel their spirits rise.
We can choose to believe what the world tells us or we can believe that we can achieve what we are destined to do.
And it took a comment from “anonymous” to help me realize that. Thank you, anonymous.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Dear Anonymous:
I got this comment the other day and I would like to thank the person again who sent it. I would also like to make some comments.
I admire your desire to change the world but think you need to relax and enjoy life a little more - you sound a little bitter lately!
I've read your blog periodically - I'm not a regular because your content is not very inspiring and too personal. Mostly (not always) it appears you are writing this more for yourself than anyone else. I suggest you Google "how to write a successful blog" for some constructive ideas.
To start, read the very top of this blog. It states what it is all about. I’m sorry if you think it is too personal.
As far as the inspiring part, I have no problem if you don’t find what I write that motivating. Although I don’t even compare to these works, the Bible and the Koran provide inspiration for many, but nothing for many.
What I do know is that I have touched one heart with at least one article. I received an email from the very first one, The Mirror of Death. It was from a mother who had just buried her daughter that day and she thanked me for putting into words feelings she had difficulty expressing. There have been other messages thanking me. To me, the few who I might have helped along the way are worth it.
Mind you, a weekly Internet mailing, endorsed by some involved in “The Secret”, going to thousands around the world, has used four of my articles. Each one resulted in about 200 positive replies and few negative ones. There are at least 800 who have been positively affected by what I have written.
Bitter?
First, this is the 394th article that I have written in a little over a year. A few have told me that some are pretty good. I know many are not very good at all. I don’t pretend to be a Hemmingway or a Tolstoy. In an earlier blog, I mentioned that my purpose was to write for a year and see what happened. I have found that not much has developed, but if I have helped make somebody’s life a bit better, great.
The process of trying to think of what to write is difficult after a year. That is why I will be writing much less, if at all, in the future. I feel I have gone to the well too often.
As an avid newspaper reader, I know that columnists don’t write Pulitzer-winning pieces every day. Some are criticized through letters to the editor, many in a similar tone as yours.
Since I don’t get paid at all for this, I am writing this between doing other things. I’m sorry if having a bad day may be reflected in some of the writing.
However, most days I am far from bitter. I live better than most of the world. I have great friends and, contrary to your statement, I do enjoy life very, very much. I do wonder if some of your judgement on my bitterness might be because you don’t agree with many or most of my opinions.
Yes, I am concerned about the world. Like many, I struggle to make sense of what is happening. Sometimes the process is difficult and I expect it shows in my writing. I see things that I don’t understand. For example, people complain about too much violence on television, yet do nothing about it. Sure, we can tell them to change the channel, but I feel that only to do that is to abdicate any social responsibility. The media affect our lives and we need to understand them more.
I state my opinion. Yours may differ. That’s fine. I may even be totally wrong and you may be totally right. That doesn’t make my right to state my opinion any less valid.
As far as “Googling” for tips on writing a better blog, I am not trying to create some mass following. You are right. I write mainly for myself, as most blogs I visit do (I have seen so many photos of peoples’ children), and if others can benefit from my ideas, great. So, thanks for the suggestion, but I won’t be following up on it.
Although you might not find me very inspiring, perhaps you might enjoy the following quote from Bill Cosby.
“I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”
So I can accept your criticism as being how you feel. I haven’t satisfied you. It really isn’t a big deal for me – I am not trying to please everybody – especially since you are anonymous. Thank you for taking the time for writing. If you are ever in the area, drop in for some tea.
I admire your desire to change the world but think you need to relax and enjoy life a little more - you sound a little bitter lately!
I've read your blog periodically - I'm not a regular because your content is not very inspiring and too personal. Mostly (not always) it appears you are writing this more for yourself than anyone else. I suggest you Google "how to write a successful blog" for some constructive ideas.
To start, read the very top of this blog. It states what it is all about. I’m sorry if you think it is too personal.
As far as the inspiring part, I have no problem if you don’t find what I write that motivating. Although I don’t even compare to these works, the Bible and the Koran provide inspiration for many, but nothing for many.
What I do know is that I have touched one heart with at least one article. I received an email from the very first one, The Mirror of Death. It was from a mother who had just buried her daughter that day and she thanked me for putting into words feelings she had difficulty expressing. There have been other messages thanking me. To me, the few who I might have helped along the way are worth it.
Mind you, a weekly Internet mailing, endorsed by some involved in “The Secret”, going to thousands around the world, has used four of my articles. Each one resulted in about 200 positive replies and few negative ones. There are at least 800 who have been positively affected by what I have written.
Bitter?
First, this is the 394th article that I have written in a little over a year. A few have told me that some are pretty good. I know many are not very good at all. I don’t pretend to be a Hemmingway or a Tolstoy. In an earlier blog, I mentioned that my purpose was to write for a year and see what happened. I have found that not much has developed, but if I have helped make somebody’s life a bit better, great.
The process of trying to think of what to write is difficult after a year. That is why I will be writing much less, if at all, in the future. I feel I have gone to the well too often.
As an avid newspaper reader, I know that columnists don’t write Pulitzer-winning pieces every day. Some are criticized through letters to the editor, many in a similar tone as yours.
Since I don’t get paid at all for this, I am writing this between doing other things. I’m sorry if having a bad day may be reflected in some of the writing.
However, most days I am far from bitter. I live better than most of the world. I have great friends and, contrary to your statement, I do enjoy life very, very much. I do wonder if some of your judgement on my bitterness might be because you don’t agree with many or most of my opinions.
Yes, I am concerned about the world. Like many, I struggle to make sense of what is happening. Sometimes the process is difficult and I expect it shows in my writing. I see things that I don’t understand. For example, people complain about too much violence on television, yet do nothing about it. Sure, we can tell them to change the channel, but I feel that only to do that is to abdicate any social responsibility. The media affect our lives and we need to understand them more.
I state my opinion. Yours may differ. That’s fine. I may even be totally wrong and you may be totally right. That doesn’t make my right to state my opinion any less valid.
As far as “Googling” for tips on writing a better blog, I am not trying to create some mass following. You are right. I write mainly for myself, as most blogs I visit do (I have seen so many photos of peoples’ children), and if others can benefit from my ideas, great. So, thanks for the suggestion, but I won’t be following up on it.
Although you might not find me very inspiring, perhaps you might enjoy the following quote from Bill Cosby.
“I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”
So I can accept your criticism as being how you feel. I haven’t satisfied you. It really isn’t a big deal for me – I am not trying to please everybody – especially since you are anonymous. Thank you for taking the time for writing. If you are ever in the area, drop in for some tea.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Complaints
If I don’t like something, I am quite willing to pipe up and say so. Through the years, I have learned to pick my battles more carefully. Still, the way I see it, we are all responsible for the society we live in. If we don’t voice our concern, then we should be prepared to live in the world that has been formed without our input.
Years ago, I was concerned about a Sprite advertisement where parents were attending a show so they got their daughter to baby-sit. They specifically said no boys were to come over. As soon as they left, the boyfriend was seen behind the door with a pizza. The parents forgot their tickets, so they surprised the teen by walking in. The pizza was thrown in the air and the boyfriend ducked behind the couch with the adults not knowing all that happened.
Sounds innocent, but I didn’t like the way it made it sound “cute” to lie to adults when you are in a position of responsibility looking after children. I was surprised that the parent company, Coca Cola, had shucked it wholesome image. This was the company that taught the world to sing in one of its ads. Why was it portraying adults as dolts who wouldn’t notice someone was trying to pull a fast one on them or if they did know what was going on, wouldn’t seem concerned that their daughter was lying to them?
I don’t think it was only I who complained, but the advertisement barely lasted a week.
More recently, my target was the Wrigley Gum Company. It introduced a new sugar-free Juicy Fruit. In the commercial, a guy was strumming the company song on a guitar. Two guys enter the scene while everyone else is enjoying the music, rip the instrument from his grasp and smash it. This was supposed to be funny. I didn’t think so. So I called the company.
They basically told me to lighten up. Didn’t I appreciate the allegory? I asked them if their company policy was to settle all disputes with violence. In a world where people don’t seem to talk about their differences and come to some resolution, smashing somebody’s guitar is not an image I want to see. Also, having written commercials myself, I know that the idea isn’t really that creative. There are better ways to convey a radically new gum.
They created a second ad. It wasn’t much better. I complained again. Like before, I don’t think I was the only one who was offended. It didn’t last long either.
Next I tackled Much Music. You’re against violence against women, right? How about racism? Why not throw in vandalism?
In a Smashing Pumpkin’s video called 1979 all of the following happens. A girl’s head is shoved violently at a party. An Asian’s convenience store is trashed. Somebody’s home has its pool furniture thrown into the water and toilet paper put all over. Ah, the sweet innocence of youth.
I wrote to Much Music and they didn’t reply. I happened to know that the Canadian Radio and Television Commission takes these complaints seriously, so I contacted them and asked why I didn’t receive a reply. The sent a letter to Much Music and copied me saying that the station had nine days to respond otherwise it risked losing its licence.
Somehow I told this story in a classroom a few days ago and a couple of girls went ballistic. They didn’t equate that I had done nothing wrong. I was exercising my rights, and it was Much Music that was trying to ignore them.
I told the girls to put their beefs on paper. One furiously started scribbling. She tossed out the first draft and handed me the second. On it she told of how a video by M.I.A. called Paper Planes advocates that war and gangster activities need to stop through mockery. I thanked her for her response and said I would watch the video.
Ya, perhaps in my old age I just am not getting the hip, young message that is being given here. Maybe I am taking the last lines of the song a bit too seriously:
Some some some I some I murder
Some I some I let go
Some some some I some I murder
Some I some I let go.
Meanwhile the number of murders in Toronto is on the rise and people scratch their heads and ask why. No, it's not this one song, but it is a whole society filled with media of all types, including the Internet, that promote voilence.
There was a saying in computer talk a few years ago in the punch card era. It was garbage in, garbage out. I will argue for your right to put whatever you want into your head. I cherish that same right for myself, but it has been known for centuries that if you fill your life with good thoughts, then the result will be a happier life.
Years ago, I was concerned about a Sprite advertisement where parents were attending a show so they got their daughter to baby-sit. They specifically said no boys were to come over. As soon as they left, the boyfriend was seen behind the door with a pizza. The parents forgot their tickets, so they surprised the teen by walking in. The pizza was thrown in the air and the boyfriend ducked behind the couch with the adults not knowing all that happened.
Sounds innocent, but I didn’t like the way it made it sound “cute” to lie to adults when you are in a position of responsibility looking after children. I was surprised that the parent company, Coca Cola, had shucked it wholesome image. This was the company that taught the world to sing in one of its ads. Why was it portraying adults as dolts who wouldn’t notice someone was trying to pull a fast one on them or if they did know what was going on, wouldn’t seem concerned that their daughter was lying to them?
I don’t think it was only I who complained, but the advertisement barely lasted a week.
More recently, my target was the Wrigley Gum Company. It introduced a new sugar-free Juicy Fruit. In the commercial, a guy was strumming the company song on a guitar. Two guys enter the scene while everyone else is enjoying the music, rip the instrument from his grasp and smash it. This was supposed to be funny. I didn’t think so. So I called the company.
They basically told me to lighten up. Didn’t I appreciate the allegory? I asked them if their company policy was to settle all disputes with violence. In a world where people don’t seem to talk about their differences and come to some resolution, smashing somebody’s guitar is not an image I want to see. Also, having written commercials myself, I know that the idea isn’t really that creative. There are better ways to convey a radically new gum.
They created a second ad. It wasn’t much better. I complained again. Like before, I don’t think I was the only one who was offended. It didn’t last long either.
Next I tackled Much Music. You’re against violence against women, right? How about racism? Why not throw in vandalism?
In a Smashing Pumpkin’s video called 1979 all of the following happens. A girl’s head is shoved violently at a party. An Asian’s convenience store is trashed. Somebody’s home has its pool furniture thrown into the water and toilet paper put all over. Ah, the sweet innocence of youth.
I wrote to Much Music and they didn’t reply. I happened to know that the Canadian Radio and Television Commission takes these complaints seriously, so I contacted them and asked why I didn’t receive a reply. The sent a letter to Much Music and copied me saying that the station had nine days to respond otherwise it risked losing its licence.
Somehow I told this story in a classroom a few days ago and a couple of girls went ballistic. They didn’t equate that I had done nothing wrong. I was exercising my rights, and it was Much Music that was trying to ignore them.
I told the girls to put their beefs on paper. One furiously started scribbling. She tossed out the first draft and handed me the second. On it she told of how a video by M.I.A. called Paper Planes advocates that war and gangster activities need to stop through mockery. I thanked her for her response and said I would watch the video.
Ya, perhaps in my old age I just am not getting the hip, young message that is being given here. Maybe I am taking the last lines of the song a bit too seriously:
Some some some I some I murder
Some I some I let go
Some some some I some I murder
Some I some I let go.
Meanwhile the number of murders in Toronto is on the rise and people scratch their heads and ask why. No, it's not this one song, but it is a whole society filled with media of all types, including the Internet, that promote voilence.
There was a saying in computer talk a few years ago in the punch card era. It was garbage in, garbage out. I will argue for your right to put whatever you want into your head. I cherish that same right for myself, but it has been known for centuries that if you fill your life with good thoughts, then the result will be a happier life.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Writing
There are times when I love to write. I literally can’t wait to get to my keyboard and start pounding my keys. Lately, that hasn’t been the case. I have been struggling. I just haven’t had the motivation.
There have been topics that I have wanted to discuss. It seems that I just can’t be bothered. I am discouraged. There are times when I feel as if I am going nowhere. I keep trying to work towards goals and don’t seem to be succeeding.
Then I watched the birds at the feeder today, particularly the one containing Niger seed. Each nugget is so small. Each peck extracts only one. It will take forever to drain the container. Yet, each morning I see that it has gone down. It has happened one seed at a time.
So I try to focus on the small stuff and try to do them well. I plough ahead with the expectation that I will arrive at my destination in life, whatever it is, safe and sound.
Just like the sparrow, if I just keep pecking away, I will make a difference eventually.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
The Conference
If an invitation to a conference from a professional group had said, “We invite Caucasians aspiring to leadership positions …”, what would you think? My guess is that many would consider such an invitation as racist.
If it said, “We invite heterosexuals aspiring to leadership positions …”, I suspect that many would be calling it homophobic.
What if that same professional group had in one of its communications, “We invite Muslims aspiring to leadership positions …”? Might that be deemed as religious exclusivity?
How about this one? “We invite men aspiring to leadership positions …” Definitely sexist.
Well, the invitation did not say any of these phrases. It did say, “We invite women aspiring to leadership positions …”.
What would you say if this professional group had many activities specifically for women and none exclusively for its male membership? What would people say if the situation was reversed?
Oh, and by the way, this professional group says it has a great concern for social justice and equity.
Maybe I have it all wrong, but I feel that equality and equal opportunity means just that. We have worked hard to take words out of the English language that depict gender. Chairmen have become chairs. Manning a table has become staffing it. Mankind has been changed to humankind.
Then why is it not sexist when it appears that men are not welcome? I have checked with this professional group. Men are not allowed at this conference.
Why is there this double standard? It is like saying only white people can be racist.
I am not saying that there shouldn’t be conferences and seminars that are geared towards the interests of women. What I am saying is that everyone should be allowed to go to them as long as they are members of that association.
When I was the Executive Director of the Canadian Association of Journalists, we had several caucuses, including ones for women and gays and lesbians. I remember one journalist who was neither a woman nor gay, but he joined both of them. Nobody batted an eye.
A part of me is tempted to register using my name in French, Jean, which looks like a woman’s name in English, and then show up. A part of me wants to stand up and fight against something I feel is wrong. Another part of me says I have had too many battles of this kind in my life. Swimming against the stream too often gets you nowhere and you often get swept over the dam.
I’ll just think about it for now.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Dream On
I wish things would turn out the way I want them to all of the time. They don’t. We all face disappointments in life. At times we just want to give up.
What would happen if you didn’t take any more shots in basketball because you missed a shot that would have won a championship?
What would happen if you didn’t take another turn at bat because, like mighty Casey, you struck out with the bases loaded?
What would happen if you decided not to drive because you failed a driver’s test?
While I can’t guarantee that you would have the opportunity to win another championship or knock in some home runs or pass the driver’s test by giving it one more try, I can guarantee that if you don’t give it one more try, you will never have that opportunity.
At the time when it feels you should give up on your dreams, you should dream some more. It may seem a crazy thing to do, but look at it this way. If you have no dreams, you have no dreams to come true. If you have many dreams, one, just one of them, might come true.
You have the option of living in certainty that nothing will happen or the expectation that something could happen. Which one would you rather choose? Many opt for the sure bet. It feels safer knowing what the future holds in store.
Although I feel like Charlie Brown at times when he was trying to kick the football, I trust that one time Lucy will not pull it away. In fact, that is what I wanted to see in the last strip of Peanuts. I don’t know why Charles Shultz didn’t think of it. He should have had Charlie Brown kick the ball a mile. It would have been a fitting end to a great comic strip.
The way I figure it, I will keep dreaming on until some of my dreams come true. The odds are with me. Eventually something will happen.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Speaking the Language
Effective communication means using the English language in a way that resonates with your audience.
When I worked in television advertising in Edmonton, I feel we lost an important account because my boss prevented me from presenting a proposal in a manner that the client would appreciate.
The Full Gospel Businessmen’s Association sponsored a program that was broadcast on our station called Good News. Due to Canadian content laws, the organization, based in California, realized that there were many advantages in having it produced in Canada.
The Edmonton chapter of this organization was very strong. So was the Toronto chapter. It was basically a two-horse competition.
There were many reasons why Edmonton should have won over Toronto. Our production costs were less. It took less time and less money to commute between California and Edmonton. Our staff and production facilities were among the best in Canada.
Landing this account was pretty important, too. This was an organization of businessmen. There is no telling how much additional business rubbing shoulders with them could have generated.
I put together a great package that ended with the line, “It is my sincere hope that our proposal is an answer to your prayers.”
When my boss saw this, he made me take it out. He indicated this in the strongest possible terms. Why? Was there something untruthful about what I said? Not at all. If these were Christian businessmen, they would, indeed, be praying about it. Was I being insincere and giving them a line just to win the contract? No, I honestly thought we would do the best job. Anyway, selling what you have is putting it in a favourable light in language that the consumer will appreciate. The problem was that my boss wasn’t a very religious person – more anti-religious – and he didn’t speak the language.
The result was that Toronto won the contract. I still wonder how things might have been if I had been allowed to keep that one sentence in my introductory letter. I don’t waste too much time on it, though. There is nothing I can do to change what happened. It’s history.
When I worked in television advertising in Edmonton, I feel we lost an important account because my boss prevented me from presenting a proposal in a manner that the client would appreciate.
The Full Gospel Businessmen’s Association sponsored a program that was broadcast on our station called Good News. Due to Canadian content laws, the organization, based in California, realized that there were many advantages in having it produced in Canada.
The Edmonton chapter of this organization was very strong. So was the Toronto chapter. It was basically a two-horse competition.
There were many reasons why Edmonton should have won over Toronto. Our production costs were less. It took less time and less money to commute between California and Edmonton. Our staff and production facilities were among the best in Canada.
Landing this account was pretty important, too. This was an organization of businessmen. There is no telling how much additional business rubbing shoulders with them could have generated.
I put together a great package that ended with the line, “It is my sincere hope that our proposal is an answer to your prayers.”
When my boss saw this, he made me take it out. He indicated this in the strongest possible terms. Why? Was there something untruthful about what I said? Not at all. If these were Christian businessmen, they would, indeed, be praying about it. Was I being insincere and giving them a line just to win the contract? No, I honestly thought we would do the best job. Anyway, selling what you have is putting it in a favourable light in language that the consumer will appreciate. The problem was that my boss wasn’t a very religious person – more anti-religious – and he didn’t speak the language.
The result was that Toronto won the contract. I still wonder how things might have been if I had been allowed to keep that one sentence in my introductory letter. I don’t waste too much time on it, though. There is nothing I can do to change what happened. It’s history.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
US Politics
I am perplexed by the Christian right’s involvement in the US election. It seems as if it is basing its recommendation to voters on two issues that define Christianity to them – abortion and the right for gays to marry. If you are against both of these, then you must vote for John McCain.
I’m not even going to debate these two issues, because that is not the point I am trying to make here.
What confuses me is what I feel elections should be about. In Canada, we voted yesterday and the main issue was who we felt was the most effective leader for the country. Yes, there were other issues involved, but at the end of the day, it was the person who is to make those decisions who was being judged.
Let’s start with the Biblical stance that everyone is a sinner. That includes Barack Obama, Joe Biden, John McCain and Sarah Palin. None is exempt from this category, including me.
So, which sinner do you want to put into the White House?
I guess one of the questions I would ask is which person would you trust the most to be able to negotiate peace and harmony in the world? Which person will put the best face on the United State’s foreign image?
Or does the USA have the market cornered on Christianity? Is it the only nation that is following God’s will?
For the past eight years there has been an evangelical Christian as the leader of the most powerful nation in the world. And he has been terrible. Sure, he has been in line with the two “issues”, but most agree that he has been one of the worst presidents ever. The suspicious way he was elected must have been God’s will, right? Can we forget the voting irregularities in Florida, a state governed by his brother? But many were happy because he is an evangelical Christian.
My concern in polarizing these two issues for the vote is that many other important issues will be sidelined. There are many cults out there that believe the same thing. How do we know that Sarah Palin’s theology reflects the mainstream of America? She and her husband have supported a political movement in Alaska to separate from the United States, yet she has the gall to link Obama to terrorism and some guy he had dealings with long ago. Do people not see the hypocrisy in this?
Aside from these two issues, which party is acting more Christian-like? If one party was to pull the trigger on dropping bombs on innocent people, which one do you think would do it first? Would it be one that supports gun control or one that argues that Americans are safer if they pack a pistol?
If at the end of the day people think that McCain is the better leader, I have no problem with that. That’s the way democracy works. What I have a problem with is that two issues are defining the campaign when there are a lot of other things at stake.
Meanwhile both parties try to put fear in the voters’ hearts using every political trick in the book. Does that sound very Christian to you? If God is really on your side, do you need to stoop so low?
My friends in the United States, clear your heads and do the moral thing. Elect the best leader you can. If it is Barack Obama, that’s fine. If it is John McCain, that’s fine, too, but don’t elect somebody based on two issues alone when there are so many others to consider.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Adolph
One of the most amazing students I have ever had was Adolph. This was years ago in 1979.
He always seemed happy and got along with everyone in spite of having a name that few have named their kid after the Second World War.
His foster parents asked if I could come out for a meal to discuss the best way to help Adolph progress in school. You see, he had problems in most subjects, particularly math.
If I asked him what 3 plus 4 was, he would just guess at the answer. To multiply 3 times 4 resulted in more guessing.
When I arrived at his home, I noticed a copy of The Hockey News on the coffee table. I instinctively picked it up and glanced at it while I waited for tea.
When Adolph’s foster mom came back into the living room, she said, “Go ahead. Ask Adolph any question from The Hockey News.
I started with a simple one. “Who is the leading scorer with the Edmonton Oilers?”
“Wayne Gretzky.”
“How many goals?” He knew. “How many assists?” He knew. “What’s the total?” He knew.
In that era, every kid knew about Wayne Gretzky. I decided to be a bit, no, a lot tougher.
“Who is the leading scorer with the Minnesota North Stars?
“Al MacAdam.” Adolph was right. He knew the goals, assists and total points, too.
“What kind of stick does he use?” Adolph was like a marksman picking off targets. He knew. “What kind of gloves does he use?” He knew, he knew, he knew everything I asked him. Somehow he could digest The Hockey News like kids attack pizza.
The next day in class, I thanked Adolph for inviting me into his home and gave him a note to send home with his foster mum.
In math class, I tried fruitlessly to work on addition and multiplication with him. Then I got a brilliant idea.
“How many points does Wayne Gretzky get in a game if he has three goals and four assists?” “Seven,” Adolph immediately shot back.
“And if he gets a hat trick (three goals in a game) for four games, how many goals does he get?” “Twelve,” replied Adolph, matter-of-factly.
It seemed as long as I put the math question in hockey terms, he knew the answer.
Maybe that’s the problem we face with communication. We express ourselves in our terms and expect everybody to understand. I somebody doesn’t get it, perhaps we need to enter into his world. Of course, this is much easier said than done. It requires work on our part and the other person has to be open about what his world is like. Fortunately, Adolph’s passion for hockey allowed me to discover valuable insights about his character.
I lost track of Adolph. A job that I wanted more took me out of the province. My fondest desire is that this young lad landed on his feet and is happy in life. I know what the perfect job for him would have been. Something working with a professional hockey team was right up his alley.
I wonder if he ever got to meet Wayne Gretzky. I hope so.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Censorship
We had an interesting discussion about censorship around our breakfast table. Those who feel that censorship is a bad thing always amaze me. What I dislike is the superior intellectual attitude that they often adopt. I think they need to think a few things over.
Mention censoring explicit sexual content and they cite how violence bothers them more. Ok, limit that, too.
Let’s look at a world with no censorship and see if you want it.
In this world snuff films would freely exist. What is a snuff film, you ask? It is where a person is murdered and the action captured for people to watch. I wasn’t even aware that such things existed until I saw the film “Pornography” starring George C. Scott.
The tapes of Paul Bernardo would be accessible to anyone. They depict the torture of two teenage girls and the sexual acts they were forced to perform. Who knows how seeing these may encourage others to mimic the contents.
The problem, of course, is that the Internet is here now with very little censorship. However, some things are taken off. For example, You Tube removed a clip that showed a US Marine throwing a puppy over a cliff to its death.
However, there are some who would argue that nothing should be censored and that people should have the option to decide for themselves what they should read or watch.
The main problem is what to allow and disallow and who makes that decision.
One of my teachers at Ryerson once sat on the Ontario Film Censorship Board. The dilemma was that if a film was censored, they would be asked if they had seen it. If the answer was no, the response was, “How could you censor it if you didn’t see it?” If the answer was yes, then the argument was made that they had seen it, so everybody should be allowed to do the same.
With freedom there is responsibility. For every action there is a reaction. In an anything-goes society, we have to accept the fact that many things will be allowed to happen that will not be good for that society. I think the majority of people want some limits, which means censorship is not necessarily a bad thing at all.
Mention censoring explicit sexual content and they cite how violence bothers them more. Ok, limit that, too.
Let’s look at a world with no censorship and see if you want it.
In this world snuff films would freely exist. What is a snuff film, you ask? It is where a person is murdered and the action captured for people to watch. I wasn’t even aware that such things existed until I saw the film “Pornography” starring George C. Scott.
The tapes of Paul Bernardo would be accessible to anyone. They depict the torture of two teenage girls and the sexual acts they were forced to perform. Who knows how seeing these may encourage others to mimic the contents.
The problem, of course, is that the Internet is here now with very little censorship. However, some things are taken off. For example, You Tube removed a clip that showed a US Marine throwing a puppy over a cliff to its death.
However, there are some who would argue that nothing should be censored and that people should have the option to decide for themselves what they should read or watch.
The main problem is what to allow and disallow and who makes that decision.
One of my teachers at Ryerson once sat on the Ontario Film Censorship Board. The dilemma was that if a film was censored, they would be asked if they had seen it. If the answer was no, the response was, “How could you censor it if you didn’t see it?” If the answer was yes, then the argument was made that they had seen it, so everybody should be allowed to do the same.
With freedom there is responsibility. For every action there is a reaction. In an anything-goes society, we have to accept the fact that many things will be allowed to happen that will not be good for that society. I think the majority of people want some limits, which means censorship is not necessarily a bad thing at all.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
A Couple of Thoughts
I have been very busy lately. We run a bed and breakfast and I have been doing occasional teaching almost every day. There has been little time to sit and muse about what I am going to write. I have had a couple of thoughts, though, and I will share them with you.
People are worrying about the litter from coffee cups. I would like to add some pizza companies that sell single slices and put them on a small wedge of cardboard. Inconsiderate customers toss them away without any regard. I have some solutions.
For the coffee, charge a bit extra for the cup. If somebody brings in his own cup, then he gets a discount. If you collect 10 take-away cups, you get a free coffee. What if people toss them away anyway? There will be people like me who will collect the in order to get a free coffee.
The same strategy can be used for the pizza wedge plates.
In both cases, people might be concerned that cups and cardboard from different locations might be used for the free product. Simply marking the bottom of the item with a unique symbol or store location will do the trick. If this isn’t present, then it doesn’t count.
It could also be a strategy for helping the poor. Instead of asking for money, you could give them these “vouchers” that could be traded in for coffee and food. I tried to start a scheme like this with Subway stamps a few years ago. The idea is that people could donate the stamps to the poor, but the head office didn’t seem to warm up to the idea. Too bad,
On another matter totally unrelated, I have Sarah Palin editorial cartoon that I
would like to draw. The problem is that I can’t draw, so I will just describe it.
Perhaps you remember the night she debated Joe Biden. When she greeted him, she asked if she could call him Joe. What a calculated move! Don’t ever believe that it was spontaneous.
In my cartoon she would be meeting the Queen. The words that would come out of her mouth would be, “Can I call you Liz?”
That’s it for today.
People are worrying about the litter from coffee cups. I would like to add some pizza companies that sell single slices and put them on a small wedge of cardboard. Inconsiderate customers toss them away without any regard. I have some solutions.
For the coffee, charge a bit extra for the cup. If somebody brings in his own cup, then he gets a discount. If you collect 10 take-away cups, you get a free coffee. What if people toss them away anyway? There will be people like me who will collect the in order to get a free coffee.
The same strategy can be used for the pizza wedge plates.
In both cases, people might be concerned that cups and cardboard from different locations might be used for the free product. Simply marking the bottom of the item with a unique symbol or store location will do the trick. If this isn’t present, then it doesn’t count.
It could also be a strategy for helping the poor. Instead of asking for money, you could give them these “vouchers” that could be traded in for coffee and food. I tried to start a scheme like this with Subway stamps a few years ago. The idea is that people could donate the stamps to the poor, but the head office didn’t seem to warm up to the idea. Too bad,
On another matter totally unrelated, I have Sarah Palin editorial cartoon that I
would like to draw. The problem is that I can’t draw, so I will just describe it. Perhaps you remember the night she debated Joe Biden. When she greeted him, she asked if she could call him Joe. What a calculated move! Don’t ever believe that it was spontaneous.
In my cartoon she would be meeting the Queen. The words that would come out of her mouth would be, “Can I call you Liz?”
That’s it for today.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Elections
I am getting to hate elections. Instead of hearing of what we look forward to if we elect a government, fear is marketed.
I’m tired of hearing what will happen if we elect this party or that. Right now it is a situation where four political parties in Canada are ganging up on the Conservatives.
I have no problem if you don’t prescribe to any of the platforms. What I hate is when people make it sound like the people who are running for office are purposely trying to destroy the country.
Think about what would motivate somebody to run for office in the first place. I’m sure part of it is a sense of adventure, but I’m just as sure that it is wanting to make a difference in your society. Seriously, some criminals are portrayed in a nicer light.
In the United States, it is even worse. Things have become petty. I heard that the Republican Party is pointing out that Obama’s middle name is Hussein. Are they trying to link him to some terrorist organization? Yes, they are. The name of the game is to try to put fear in people’s hearts. Hey, Barack Obama didn’t choose his name. Anyway, what kind of parents would name their kids Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow, and Piper? Sarah and Todd Palin, that's who. Doesn’t sound like the Brady Bunch to me.
If you think I am being tough on the Republicans, I’m sure the Democrats are doing similar things.
Not only that, they are digging things out of the distant past that probably have no relevance today. That’s probably why I don’t run for office. If everything I said or did years ago was hauled up for everyone to see, I probably wouldn’t get too many votes. The truth is, though, that people grow and change. Sometimes they actually learn from their mistakes. None of us is perfect.
Yes, I’ll be glad when all this is over and all of the people roll up their sleeves and start making this country better.
I’m tired of hearing what will happen if we elect this party or that. Right now it is a situation where four political parties in Canada are ganging up on the Conservatives.
I have no problem if you don’t prescribe to any of the platforms. What I hate is when people make it sound like the people who are running for office are purposely trying to destroy the country.
Think about what would motivate somebody to run for office in the first place. I’m sure part of it is a sense of adventure, but I’m just as sure that it is wanting to make a difference in your society. Seriously, some criminals are portrayed in a nicer light.
In the United States, it is even worse. Things have become petty. I heard that the Republican Party is pointing out that Obama’s middle name is Hussein. Are they trying to link him to some terrorist organization? Yes, they are. The name of the game is to try to put fear in people’s hearts. Hey, Barack Obama didn’t choose his name. Anyway, what kind of parents would name their kids Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow, and Piper? Sarah and Todd Palin, that's who. Doesn’t sound like the Brady Bunch to me.
If you think I am being tough on the Republicans, I’m sure the Democrats are doing similar things.
Not only that, they are digging things out of the distant past that probably have no relevance today. That’s probably why I don’t run for office. If everything I said or did years ago was hauled up for everyone to see, I probably wouldn’t get too many votes. The truth is, though, that people grow and change. Sometimes they actually learn from their mistakes. None of us is perfect.
Yes, I’ll be glad when all this is over and all of the people roll up their sleeves and start making this country better.
Monday, October 06, 2008
Motivation
Books have had a profound effect on my life. Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning” ranks in the top ten.
Frankl was a Jewish psychiatrist who lived through the holocaust during the Second World War.
While he was in the Theresienstadt concentration camp, he found that as long as prisoners had the hope of being reunited with their loved ones, they had the determination to stay alive. Many died, though, just hours after receiving information that the reason for living – their family – had died.
One of Viktor’s motivations for pushing on from day to day was a book that he wanted to write.
As long as people have a reason to live, the fire will burn brightly in their heart. When that flame goes out, so does the will to continue life.
From this starting point, Frankl built up a practice in which his goal in treating patients was to find a significant reason for living, even if it was something as simple as feeding a budgie.
As an occasional teacher, I have a difficult task. I have to enter a classroom and find some way to motivate students. Sometimes I succeed; sometimes I don’t. It all comes down to whether I can find a reason for the class to perform well.
I have experimented with this a lot. Something as simple as putting a coloured piece of paper on their desk when they do well and taking it off when they are not on task has worked effectively. The purpose is to get as many as you can by the end of the day.
With kindergarten students, I have taken a cue from the movie “Life is Beautiful”. The father in the film awards meaningless points to his son to keep him quiet and obedient in a concentration camp. Guess what? It works for kindergarten, too. I award points for smiling, standing straight, keeping quiet and almost anything else. By giving the kids a reason for doing as I wish – earning points – they are motivated to behave well.
So what is your motivation for living? Hopefully it is something that helps you climb great mountains and hang in there when others would give up. If you lack this drive, let me know and I will start sending you points.
Frankl was a Jewish psychiatrist who lived through the holocaust during the Second World War.
While he was in the Theresienstadt concentration camp, he found that as long as prisoners had the hope of being reunited with their loved ones, they had the determination to stay alive. Many died, though, just hours after receiving information that the reason for living – their family – had died.
One of Viktor’s motivations for pushing on from day to day was a book that he wanted to write.
As long as people have a reason to live, the fire will burn brightly in their heart. When that flame goes out, so does the will to continue life.
From this starting point, Frankl built up a practice in which his goal in treating patients was to find a significant reason for living, even if it was something as simple as feeding a budgie.
As an occasional teacher, I have a difficult task. I have to enter a classroom and find some way to motivate students. Sometimes I succeed; sometimes I don’t. It all comes down to whether I can find a reason for the class to perform well.
I have experimented with this a lot. Something as simple as putting a coloured piece of paper on their desk when they do well and taking it off when they are not on task has worked effectively. The purpose is to get as many as you can by the end of the day.
With kindergarten students, I have taken a cue from the movie “Life is Beautiful”. The father in the film awards meaningless points to his son to keep him quiet and obedient in a concentration camp. Guess what? It works for kindergarten, too. I award points for smiling, standing straight, keeping quiet and almost anything else. By giving the kids a reason for doing as I wish – earning points – they are motivated to behave well.
So what is your motivation for living? Hopefully it is something that helps you climb great mountains and hang in there when others would give up. If you lack this drive, let me know and I will start sending you points.
Sunday, October 05, 2008
No Problem?
I couldn’t believe my ears! A man stood up in a public meeting and stated that there was no division on the board of directors he represented. The problem was that I have talked to three separate members of that same board who have told me that there is, indeed, division and that it has been around for years. Why would he say such a thing? Was he lying, unaware of the truth or what?
If I hit my thumb with a hammer, doesn’t my whole body know that there is a problem? Doesn’t my eye look at the throbbing mass? My tongue will be participating in the pain along with my brain.
Then how could he be unaware of the division on his board of directors?
It is not difficult to imagine. I have known husbands and wives who have not been aware of the problems in their marriage. They often say things like there were a few difficulties, but that is to be expected. As far as they were concerned, things were good. And then the spouse walks out the door.
The problem may not be entirely with this man’s perception, though. Perhaps the board members who were dissatisfied didn’t communicate with him very effectively.
The situation is still the same. If one person on a board is unhappy, then there is a problem that has to be resolved. It doesn’t matter who caused it. It doesn’t matter if you are right and the other person is wrong. What matters is that the problem is corrected.
Most have hear the saying, “It takes two to tango.” Well, I’d like to add another phrase to it. “It only takes one person to spoil the dance.” Try to recognize the problems that others may be having and deal with them. If you are the one in the relationship having the problem, make sure the other person is aware if it. Communicate. You’ll learn more about life by meeting the situation head-on rather than pretending or not knowing it exists.
If I hit my thumb with a hammer, doesn’t my whole body know that there is a problem? Doesn’t my eye look at the throbbing mass? My tongue will be participating in the pain along with my brain.
Then how could he be unaware of the division on his board of directors?
It is not difficult to imagine. I have known husbands and wives who have not been aware of the problems in their marriage. They often say things like there were a few difficulties, but that is to be expected. As far as they were concerned, things were good. And then the spouse walks out the door.
The problem may not be entirely with this man’s perception, though. Perhaps the board members who were dissatisfied didn’t communicate with him very effectively.
The situation is still the same. If one person on a board is unhappy, then there is a problem that has to be resolved. It doesn’t matter who caused it. It doesn’t matter if you are right and the other person is wrong. What matters is that the problem is corrected.
Most have hear the saying, “It takes two to tango.” Well, I’d like to add another phrase to it. “It only takes one person to spoil the dance.” Try to recognize the problems that others may be having and deal with them. If you are the one in the relationship having the problem, make sure the other person is aware if it. Communicate. You’ll learn more about life by meeting the situation head-on rather than pretending or not knowing it exists.
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Canadian News
I really appreciate being Canadian, but for reasons that are not that obvious.
We are blessed with better journalism than most of the world and a freedom to cover what is happening without fear of being killed. Seriously, there are countries where being a reporter is equivalent to having a death wish.
If Canadians want to be, they can be very well informed about what is happening here.
If you move to another country, it is difficult getting Canadian news. While it is nice to know what is going on, it is comforting to know that there is nothing so serious here that reverberates around the world. It’s not that we are that boring. We just don’t have the violence, problems and scandal that other places have, and that is good.
Let’s take today, for instance. We are in the midst of an election campaign, but what is one of the big stories today? The five finalists have been named for the Hockey Night in Canada theme. Oops, I made a mistake. It is not a theme. It is more like our second national anthem. Regardless of which one is the winner, there will be a lot of discussion around coffee (Tim Horton’s, of course) about which one is the best.
If you are interested, why not listen and decide for yourself?
HOCKEY NIGHT IN CANADA THEMES
Yes, I love Canada because there are times when it is non-newsworthy. It just chugs along trying to be nice in a world that contains so much hatred.
As my pen pal and her husband put it this summer, Canada is a dream for so many Europeans. Having been many places in the world, I have to agree that our standard of life is very good. I have come to appreciate living here.
What I find interesting is that unless you have experienced living in other countries, you don’t usually have an idea of what a wonderful place Canada is.
We are blessed with better journalism than most of the world and a freedom to cover what is happening without fear of being killed. Seriously, there are countries where being a reporter is equivalent to having a death wish.
If Canadians want to be, they can be very well informed about what is happening here.
If you move to another country, it is difficult getting Canadian news. While it is nice to know what is going on, it is comforting to know that there is nothing so serious here that reverberates around the world. It’s not that we are that boring. We just don’t have the violence, problems and scandal that other places have, and that is good.
Let’s take today, for instance. We are in the midst of an election campaign, but what is one of the big stories today? The five finalists have been named for the Hockey Night in Canada theme. Oops, I made a mistake. It is not a theme. It is more like our second national anthem. Regardless of which one is the winner, there will be a lot of discussion around coffee (Tim Horton’s, of course) about which one is the best.
If you are interested, why not listen and decide for yourself?
HOCKEY NIGHT IN CANADA THEMES
Yes, I love Canada because there are times when it is non-newsworthy. It just chugs along trying to be nice in a world that contains so much hatred.
As my pen pal and her husband put it this summer, Canada is a dream for so many Europeans. Having been many places in the world, I have to agree that our standard of life is very good. I have come to appreciate living here.
What I find interesting is that unless you have experienced living in other countries, you don’t usually have an idea of what a wonderful place Canada is.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Getting to Milverton
We had a meeting to go to in Milverton. My sister offered to drive, but she didn’t know the fast way to get there. I had gone many times and I knew all of the back-road shortcuts.
We set out on our journey. I saw the intense look in her eyes as we sped down the country roads towards our destination.
About halfway there, we caught up with another car from St. Marys that was attending the same gathering.
Immediately I saw the intensity of my sister’s gaze decrease greatly. As long as somebody else was taking the same route, it erased all doubt that we might not be going the right way.
And so it is with life. It is easier to walk along the path knowing that others have preceded you to clear the way. Their footprints on the ground reassure you that you are getting closer to where you want to be.
The problem is that if we are the first one to push along that road, we have to do it without the benefit of the example of others.
That is the difference between a leader and a follower. Leaders don’t mind taking chances moving through uncharted territory. They don’t have to follow the crowd. They aren’t listening for the footsteps of others to hear if they are following. They pay attention to their own progress, not seeking the gratification of others.
We reached Milverton in good time, taking the most efficient, timesaving route. I had guided my sister well. Some other day, though, I think I will try another route to see if there is even a better way to get there.
We set out on our journey. I saw the intense look in her eyes as we sped down the country roads towards our destination.
About halfway there, we caught up with another car from St. Marys that was attending the same gathering.
Immediately I saw the intensity of my sister’s gaze decrease greatly. As long as somebody else was taking the same route, it erased all doubt that we might not be going the right way.
And so it is with life. It is easier to walk along the path knowing that others have preceded you to clear the way. Their footprints on the ground reassure you that you are getting closer to where you want to be.
The problem is that if we are the first one to push along that road, we have to do it without the benefit of the example of others.
That is the difference between a leader and a follower. Leaders don’t mind taking chances moving through uncharted territory. They don’t have to follow the crowd. They aren’t listening for the footsteps of others to hear if they are following. They pay attention to their own progress, not seeking the gratification of others.
We reached Milverton in good time, taking the most efficient, timesaving route. I had guided my sister well. Some other day, though, I think I will try another route to see if there is even a better way to get there.
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