The Thoughts of Johnny V.

US Politics

2012-01-11T05:59:00.007-05:00

I am watching the Republican primaries with great interest. There is a great range of views being put forward with great passion. Still, I have to laugh.

Everybody seems to be attacking everybody else. Every flaw in the person's character and beliefs are being exposed. One of the words you will hear is that somebody "flip-flopped" on their opinion, as if it is wrong to change your mind if circumstances change or new information is revealed. It makes you wonder if any of the candidates is capable of doing the job. Winning the nomination is so important, it doesn't matter how you achieve it.

This isn't what makes me laugh, though. What makes me laugh is that next year, when the election is on, the person running for the Republican party, and the Democratic party, too, will be the perfect candidate for the job. All of the imperfections will be forgotten by each party and the focus will be on attacking the oppononent.

It reminds me of missles that seek and destroy the target. Once it is obliterated, then a new one is sought out and the process is repeated. The election then becomes a campaign of tearing down the other person instead of building up ideas. I feel it has led to a split in the United States that has polarized the country more than I can remember.

My concern is that the same thing is happening in Canada. We seem to fall asleep between elections and let the government govern. I'm not so sure if that is bad or good.

It is interesting that we have trouble getting half of our eligible voters to cast a ballot in elections where some Arab countries that are tasting democracy for the first time in a long time are experiencing high voter turnouts. It makes me wonder who is practising democracy to the fullest.

The Not-So-Perfect Gift

2011-12-24T21:53:00.002-05:00

“What did you get mom for Christmas?” Such an innocent question provided years of laughter. Here’s the whole story.
Many know I come from a large family. I am the youngest of eight. Some siblings still treat me like the baby. Now that we are in the prime of our lives, I just remind them that I am younger than they are for revenge.
Buying Christmas gifts was difficult when I was a child. A kid like me couldn’t afford presents for everyone, not with only $10. My mother told me that I should buy something for her, dad, my youngest sister and my youngest brother. She reasoned that the others were working and had money to buy whatever they wanted for themselves.
Of course, I got lots of presents, which lead some to complain how spoiled I was. I really would have liked to have bought them all something, but getting four gifts with ten dollars was pretty difficult, let alone ten.
Dad was the easiest. He always got a pair of work socks. They were perfect. He could use them and they only cost ninety-nine cents.
My brother and sister usually got school supplies, like a nice pen. I could always get a hockey stick for my brother, too. Believe it or not, Kresge’s used to sell them for a dollar ninety-nine.
My mother’s four-dollar gift was the big challenge. Being the focal point of our family, everybody did their best to buy the perfect present, including me. I had to compete for my mom’s favour against siblings with more than twenty dollars to spend, a huge amount in those times.
I trundled off to Northtown Plaza in Willowdale searching for the perfect gift. I might as well have been looking for the Holy Grail. I went back and forth for hours in the U-shaped plaza more times than the number of “U”s in a Scrabble game. Everything was either too expensive or too tacky.
As the sun set, like in a cheap western, I was the cowboy looking for the loot. In Aitkenhead’s Hardware, a sympathetic saleswoman suggested that if I couldn’t afford quality, then I might try quantity. I could buy two two-dollar gifts instead of one for four dollars. Running out of options quickly, I snapped up the idea and skipped back home knowing my Christmas shopping was complete.
‘Twas the night before Christmas and the three youngest children were tucked into bed. My brother shared the room and my sister’s was nearby.
Barry asked, “What did you get mom for Christmas?”
“It’s a surprise,” I said.
“No, tell me what you got her. I won’t tell.”
“A natural sponge and an extension cord,” I replied.
As sudden as a wolf howling at the moon, he immediately started convulsing in laughter.
From the darkness, my sister Lorraine shouted, “Hey, what are you laughing at?”
Barry snorted, “Johnny bought mom a sponge and an extension cord for Christmas!”
“It’s a natural sponge,” I said, defending my purchase. It wasn’t merely one of those bright yellow blocks that fit the hand nicely. No, it was this novel brown blob of uneven pores that had once been a living creature.
Immediately my sister joined in the hysterical snorting. The din filtered downstairs where my mom was playing Santa, filling up our stockings with goodies.
The door going upstairs flew open and her voiced shrilled, “What’s everybody laughing at?”
My brother and sister chimed, “Your gift!”
I was trapped. There was nothing I could do. The hour of reckoning would come tomorrow when I would have to give my mother the two gifts.
In those days, nothing came packaged in boxes like today. Putting paper around an extension cord was difficult enough, but can you imagine trying to wrap a natural sponge? It was sort of round and squishy. Putting Scotch tape on it was like bouncing on a trampoline. It didn’t seem to stick very well.
First, I gave my mom the extension cord. My wrapping skills were not so great, so there was no surprise. She deftly removed the paper and remarked how this gleaming mixture of plastic and wire would be very useful around the house.
Next, she was presented with this red-papered glob. She looked at it and looked at me. She looked at it again and looked at me. It was soft to the touch. What could it be? She opened it, and then blurted, “A sponge!”
“A natural sponge,” I added, hoping to give added value to the gift.
“Oh, how interesting,” she said, trying her best to look happy with what I had given her.
A few years later, the natural sponge met its second death being sacrificed to my class of high school students putting on a United Appeal car wash.
The extension cord was a mystery for many years. Just before my mother died, we were in her apartment reminiscing about our lives together. I brought up how I had thought that nothing says loving like a sponge and extension cord and we both laughed. I apologized for destroying the natural sponge, but I asked her what ever happened to the extension cord.
“Move the couch,” she instructed.
I did and there it was, looking as new as the day it was bought. Through the years it had served her well.
When my mom passed away, I made sure I got that extension cord. In those days, they weren’t grounded, so it has been retired to a drawer in my workshop downstairs. Occasionally, while browsing around, I will catch sight of it. It will remind me of that special Christmas when a couple of not-so-perfect gifts brought laughter to our home for years to come. While they cost less than four dollars, they brought us more joy and laughter than any precious jewels ever could.

Who do I believe?

2011-12-24T21:49:00.002-05:00

I'd like to share something with you. The DJ at a wedding in Stratford was from my high school. He was in a band with a guy by the name of Miles Wilkinson. You don't know Miles, but he is one of the top recording engineers in the world. He worked on almost all, if not all, of the Anne Murray albums. I emailed him about a couple of my ideas. Here is the first line of his reply.

"Thanks for the e-mail. Sounds like you’ve got some passion for this stuff. Way to go. Anything is possible."

Now, who should I believe? Should I believe a guy who now lives in Nashville, has lived in L.A. and has worked with many of the top artists in the world or should I believe people who keep on telling me something can't be done? The answer is that either one may be actually right, but do I want to live not knowing if what Miles said is true or do I want to heed the advice of the "experts" here and do nothing? If I do nothing, the result will be nothing. If I actually try to see if Miles is right, I just might find out he is and my dreams will be unleashed. What about you? In the process, some may think you are foolish. So what? If you reach the top of the mountain, you can look down at them and admire the view. If you don't, you will have learned some valuable lessons along the way.

I want to live my life with an exclamation point at the end. I don't want to be John. I want to be John!

Life Teaches Me Many Lessons

2011-08-30T06:00:00.000-04:00

It's not even 5 o'clock in the morning, but I have to write.

If there is one thing I have learned in life, it is that sometimes you have to lead with your heart. Sometimes you have to take chances. Sometimes you have to be willing to risk falling. Unless you take that risk, you will never ride a bicycle. You will never go up to bat again in baseball. You will never meet the love of your life. You will most certainly fall off the bike, strike out in baseball, and be hurt in love. That's when you learn to get up and try again. That's one of the lessons life teaches you.

It's easy to do what is logical. Many follow existing paths that are there to reach destinations. There are some, though, who want to chart new paths. These are the ones who push civilization forward. It's only through the process of innovation that progress is made. They do what others couldn't imagine. They restore the faith that all things are possible. We only have to discover how to make them happen.

The journey along this path is usually lonely. Unlike the Tour de France, where people cheer and encourage the riders, the spectators are often like vultures, waiting to validate their existence in predicting failure instead of joining in the discovery of finding out how to make something work. When failure comes, as it often does, the pundits can be seen preening their feathers of self-justification of how they were right. These are the same scavengers whose feathers you may have to ruffle in the process, not because you are trying to do so, but because they become obstacles you have to push past when they could be helping make things happen. They lose sight that often there are valuable lessons learned in trying and falling short of your goal. You don't take up pole vaulting and set a world record on your first try. It's like sportscasters who criticize players without ever having played at the elite level against the best of the world. They talk about choking, when they have no idea of what true excellence is, often defined by opportunity meeting preparation for that moment.

In my life, I don't want to simply do what is feasible. I want to do what others can't even imagine. I want to push the human spirit to the maximum. I want to see what I am capable of, not merely settle for what I know I can do.

There is a fine line between innovation and insanity. I will try my best to discern whether I am the former or the latter. However, it is a decision I will make. I will not allow others to prevent me from trying to reach my dreams when they don't know what's in my head and on my heart. I will try to be logical and methodical in my approach to the task at hand. I will try my best not to be foolish, but I will also allow inspiration and determination to be part of the journey. They can often be disguised as foolishness. If my destiny doesn't unfold through inspiration or determination, then I don't think that my life will have been fully lived. I will dare to go where others fear. I know some will think that I am crazy. That is the price I am willing to pay.

I invite you to join in my journey. I would really appreciate the company. You can help lessen my load. I am also willing to join in yours as long as it takes me to the extraordinary, not the mundane. Too many are willing to lead safe, predictable lives. I want to be the first one to fly an airplane, not wait until it becomes a jet and let somebody else take me for the ride. I realize that many may not be too comfortable with the path I have chosen. Sometimes it isn't even comfortable for me. Climbing up the face of a rock with no safety rope isn't something I want to do, but I realize that to some what I do may be seen as just as foolhardy to them. I will try to approach them in love. However, if my soul cries out against all logic, I will listen to that still, small voice inside and above all, I won't be afraid to be seen as a failure in other peoples' eyes.

It is only when I do this that I will truly be able to stand up and say, "I am."

How One Word Changed My Life

2011-08-28T19:27:00.000-04:00

One word changed my life. Oui. It wasn’t even English, but it started an adventure of a lifetime.

Years ago I taught computer courses for a private company. The salesperson was meeting a government employee regarding a huge contract. A prerequisite of federal contracts is teaching in both official languages, so she had two bilingual instructors lined up to accompany her. The only trouble was one didn’t show up.

I first knew of this when she frantically rushed towards me and said, “John, you speak French. Come.” This wasn’t an invitation; it was an order. Like a tourist on a mystery tour, I had no idea where I was going and why.

I sat for half an hour listening to the presentation. The government manager asked Christine, a francophone instructor, a question. Then it was my turn to respond in French. I simply said, “Oui.”

At the end of the meeting, the government representative announced that our company had the contract, and it was assumed that these two bilingual instructors – Christine and me - would be delivering it.

As we exited the building, I asked the salesperson what had happened. She told me that I would be teaching Microsoft Outlook in four days. I asked her, “What’s Outlook?” The product had been just released. Her reply was, “It’s for email and you have four days to learn it.”

This was the earlier days of the Internet. How do you learn an email application when nobody you know has an address? I blindly poked around Outlook with the faith of a fanatic and taught the course. It worked.

For the next few months I taught Outlook, learning each day. I became an expert, not because I was so intelligent, but that few had been exposed to it.

About a year later, another contract came up with the federal government. It was 1999, the year of theY2K scare. Every computer in Canadian embassies and consulates had been replaced and a new email software had been installed – Microsoft Outlook. They needed instructors. I passed the test with flying colours and travelled to Guatemala, Poland, Turkey, Taiwan, Kosovo, Macedonia and India. It was an opportunity of a lifetime. And the journey started with one word – “oui”.

Sometimes you will never know what effect something you have said or done will have on life until it does.

Years ago in Edmonton, I wrote and produced television commercials. One featured an entertaining Italian restaurant owner. In it he said things like, “You want veal scaloppini? You got it! You want chicken parmagiana? You got it!” On and on he went, rhyming off Italian classics that miraculously appeared on customers’ tables.

Shortly after the commercial went to air, a musical artist came to Edmonton. His name was Roy Orbison. About six months later, a song of his hit the charts. The title? Anything You Want (You Got It). I often wonder if that commercial was a stimulus for his composition.

Whether it was or not, the point I am trying to make is that it is often the little things you do in life that can lead to great things, not just for yourself, but for others too.

One small word or one small positive gesture can be a stimulus for great things. The reverse is also true. Something negative applied to your life can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

As a substitute teacher, I used to take my guitar into every class. I would encourage the kids to learn how to play it. I remember going into Mrs. Jetchick’s class at Jeanne Sauvé School in Stratford. A young boy sat in the back corner of her classroom – Justin Beiber, discovered on YouTube playing his guitar outside the Avon Theatre. Hmm, I wonder? Probably not, but you never know.

Most of us have been touched by the recent words of Jack Layton. “My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.” That change can start with one small action or word. It’s like planting seeds. You can sow beautiful flowers or weeds. The choice is yours.

Impressions of a Life

2011-08-20T21:53:00.000-04:00

Her name was Maria de Gieter. I would be surprised if you have heard of her. On Sunday I found out she died last Wednesday. She was my Belgian pen pal’s mother. She always referred to me as her Canadian son. To me, she was my “maman Belge”.

When I first met her, my French was very limited, but her kindness communicated much more than language. I had hoped she would be able to visit Canada, but she told me that she felt that this meeting a few years ago would be our last. We said our “adieu” and parted, knowing that mutual love and respect existed between us.

When people I know die, it causes me to pause and reflect on my life. Sunday was no exception.

I started thinking of how I liked paintings as a young boy. Swabs of paint stroked on a canvas by masters like Rembrandt and da Vinci preserved a point in time for generations to come.

Then I discovered impressionism. Up close I only see dots, splotches and strokes, often having no idea what I am looking at. However, when I stand back a bit, it all makes sense and I see the whole picture.

My life is like an impressionistic painting. It started as a blank canvas. My family applied the first strokes creating the background.

As I got older, teachers, classmates and coaches added to the picture.

My life progressed. Colleagues and friends applied their colours.

Each person who has touched me has contributed to the progressive picture that is my life.

However, everyone has not been equal. Some have been more profound for various reasons. My family has applied colour to my life for a long time. Others, although not around as long, were very prominent in the scene, like lightning on a stormy night.

My picture contains dark spots and bright spots. Not everything that happens in life is positive. Both are important to create an interesting painting.

Negative people have created the shaded areas. They seem to find fault in everything, yet do nothing to contribute to the solution. Somehow they feel important spewing their negative energy, criticizing instead of offering encouragement. Many actually see themselves as doing something noble pointing out my flaws, yet failing to recognize their own imperfections.

In sharp contrast to those dabbing black on my canvas are those who are bright rays of sunshine. They illuminate life. Their positive impact is made even more obvious when contrasted with those contributing darkness. They inspire me to greatness.

Mme Marie de Gieter was one of those bright spots. No matter what I did or said, I knew that her affection would not wane.

I have lived in St. Marys for just over ten years. I can think of two people who have passed on who have painted bright spots among the dark clouds.

One was Pat Young. We stayed at her bed and breakfast when we first arrived here. She encouraged us as we opened up our own. She was a mentor and a friend. I never heard her say a bad word about anyone. I never heard anyone say a bad word about her.

The other was Barry Hearn. I first met him when we were on the Lincolns’ 50th anniversary committee. Whenever I think of him, I see his huge grin. He was such a positive force. I remember the large crowd at the funeral parlour paying its respect. What a tribute it was to a life that touched so many.

Many living in this town are currently adding to my picture in a positive way, but it got me thinking of how I, too, contribute colour to the pictures of the lives of others. What is my contribution? Do I add darkness or brightness to their lives? I hope I provide illumination. What about you?

Regardless of how people have touched me, when my life draws to a close, I want to be able to stand back from the confusing blobs in the impressionistic painting created by all who have had a hand in the artwork and say, “It see the picture clearly now. What a masterpiece!”

Life Lessons Learned Playing Ball

2011-07-08T00:04:00.001-04:00

“I’m going to drop it!”

At nine years old, my mind screamed these words when a ball came my way. I was right. I dropped it.

I had little confidence. Why should I have? I tried out for the team with a left-handed glove. I was right-handed. My parents said if I made the team, I would get my own glove. Other kids had mitts big enough to hold a watermelon. Signatures of heroes like Mickey Mantle adorned them, along with other words, some that I didn’t understand. Mine, a throwback to another era, was perched awkwardly on my hand.

I was the last one to sign the roster. The coaches mentioned they had thought of cutting me, but didn’t have the heart. The words stung, but I was still happy. I would get my own glove.

My dad and I went to Dobby’s Sports. I had often looked in the window, but dared not enter unless I made the team. I strode in with my dad like I had an audience with the queen. I still have that glove. I will never part with it, even in death.
Even with my own glove, when a fly ball was hit to me, I still screamed, “I’m going to drop it!” The ball finally hit the pocket once – and it stuck. It didn’t take long to build my confidence to where I expected to catch every ball.

Lesson #1 – While natural ability is important, having the heart for something means a lot more. There are many steps to climb to success. I have seen great talent fade when success comes too easy. Determination eventually wins.

Years later, I injured my shoulder. I couldn’t lift my arm. Throwing was impossible for two weeks. Before the injury, I had a great arm. I wondered whether it would ever be as strong.

As it healed, I started throwing the ball. I used my legs, back and other muscles to compensate for my lack of shoulder strength. To make the ball take flight, I had to execute the muscle sequence in the proper order. When my shoulder healed, I could throw the ball even better than before.

Lesson #2 – Sometimes the adversity in life makes us stronger. We have to figure out a better way to do things.

On our way to winning our first Ontario championship, we were in the final game of a best of three series. We were ahead in the bottom of the last inning, but they had runners on second and third with only one out. Their best hitter was up. He hit a rocket between second and third. Somehow our shortstop got there, snagged it and stepped on third for the double play. The game was over.

Lesson #3 – Usually on the way to success, there are moments when the difference between winning and losing are small. Never give up hope.

In softball, if you fail 70% of the time, you are doing well. It is also a team sport.

Lesson #4 – Sometimes it’s not how often you succeed that’s important. It’s when you succeed. Everybody can have a moment of glory on a team. You work together for success.

One season, we had lost only two games until the Ontario final, then lost two straight. In the series, I didn’t get one hit and left 8 runners on base in the final game. I was devastated. I almost quit.

The next year I played and coached. The Squirt team I coached played against the eventual Ontario champions. They beat us 52-0! Yet something happened that changed my life.

The pitcher had a perfect game until a pudgy Italian kid, Umberto, was hit in the stomach. The ball bounced back to the pitcher. Both teams exploded in laughter, including Umberto. He trotted proudly like Babe Ruth to first base.

Lesson #5 – It’s a game. It’s meant to be fun. Life’s the same. Find ways to enjoy it for what it is. It’s not perfect, and you don’t always win, but it still can be fun.

Softball and baseball have taught me valuable lessons, even more than appears here. They’ve allowed me to apply the phase you often hear on the diamond to my life. “I’ve got it!”

How Not to Avoid a Cat-astrophe

2011-07-07T23:59:00.001-04:00

You’re going to be a father again!

She didn’t shout these words. Women don’t do this when announcing an addition to the family. They do things like knit booties. They leave subtle hints.

In my case, it was a can of Pounce on the kitchen table, but I am getting ahead of myself. Let me tell the whole story.

Last year we lost our cat, Toby. He was a great friend, but cats are also a responsibility and an expense. While not pleased about his death, I was happy to be free of the extra work.

My wife, Marie, had another opinion. She had had many cats over the years and longed for feline companionship. It didn’t matter that we have two dogs. Having a cat is different.

However, it takes two to make a marriage. Summoning all of my masculine authority, I made it very clear that under no circumstances was she even to think of getting another cat.

Oh, she tried. I was invited into McPhail’s to view various kittens on numerous occasions. I was rock solid. I didn’t flinch. We left the store catless.

Next came the vet clinic. I got updates on stray cats that needed new homes. My little Mother Teresa of the cat world visited them and told me how we would be a positive influence in their lives. I would assure her that her saintly intentions were mixed with my fiendish, selfish desire not to add any more pets to our household.

Marie was determined. There was the social pressure. Ann at church asked me why I didn’t want a cat. Marie expressed her desire to many friends, who sometimes leered at me for not giving in to her desires. I had no trouble being portrayed as the cruel husband, as long as we didn’t take in a stray.

Then it happened! The perfect occasion and the perfect excuse, mixed with the perfect timing.

Marie went to the Mitchell Golf Club with Bonnie for a practice round for a tournament she entered. People often drop off their unwanted cats, I’m told, at golf courses. This kitten wandered up to Marie and rubbed against her. As she put it, “He chose me. There were eight other women and he walked right up to me. I would have never have chosen a cat like him.” Right! I wasn’t falling for that line.

He chose her enough for her to call the course the next day, go pick him up and hide him in our basement, leaving the Pounce on the table to break the news to me gently.

She’s crafty, though. We went golfing with friends after work. I had planned to go directly to the course, but had forgotten my clubs. Marie didn’t complain when I asked her to bring them in her car. She seemed happy about the idea. Strange.

After an enjoyable golf game and dinner with our friends, we came home. I saw the Pounce. My first words were, “Where is he?” I announced in a firm voice that he would be out of the house at the earliest possible opportunity. I was angry. How dare she go against my wishes? How important was my opinion in this relationship? I debated even sleeping on the couch. I was upset.

Then I made the fatal mistake. I crept into the basement to see what the fuss was all about. The huge, friendly eyes of a scrawny cat greeted me. It was obvious that he needed care. I picked him up to see how light he was. He had me at purr.

The next day I mentioned about the cat going back, but like a Popsicle melting on a hot summer day, my intentions disappeared. By evening I announced that we were keeping the cat, as if it had been my idea all along.

The final seal of approval was giving him a name. Marie purposely came up with some terrible ones. She’s sly. By giving me naming rights, the cat was sure to stay.

I struggled to find a name. Then it dawned on me that he was found on the Mitchell Golf Course. His name would be Caddie.

My only victory in all this? She is on poop patrol. Since he is her Caddie, I’m not going to clean the sand traps.

A Tale of Two Men

2011-06-08T06:01:00.000-04:00

They are two very different men. I know them very well.

One is negative. He doesn’t say much good about St. Marys. He points out everything he feels is wrong with the place. He finds fault with others and criticizes their performance when he needs to look at himself in the mirror.
The other man sees the great potential of our town. He suggests improvements. He encourages others to do the same. He lends a hand to those in need.

One says unkind things that can be quite hurtful, based on opinion, and not entirely true. He is an expert at raising doubts about peoples’ motivations.

The other says positive things about people. He figures life is tough enough. He would rather try to lift others up than tear them down. He seeks ways of enabling people to perform better, usually through a kind comment.

One doesn’t go to the source to find out the facts. His opinion is based on personal observation. He feels he has the right to say anything, even when it may be horribly wrong.

The other verifies with the source to find out if something is true. He investigates all the facts before coming to a conclusion rather than relying on gossip.

If you get on the wrong side of the first person, he may shun you or judge you without talking to you. If you disagree with him, he often doesn’t want to resolve the problem. He would rather hold on to the grudge indefinitely. He might even try to get back at you.

The second feels life is too short for grudges. The best way to conquer an enemy is to make him your friend. Conflicts are resolved through understanding and love. He treats people with dignity and respect. While difficult to do, he sees this as the only hope for this world. Trying to get back at somebody wastes energy on negative things that could be used positively.

One says things that divide people; the other tries to unite them.

One feels he is right; the other is more concerned about doing right. He seeks advice and input from others, willing to listen to them, and accepting that it might be different than his.

One is a bully trying to push people around. The other leads through example and encouragement.

I like one of these persons. I don’t like the other one at all. Many I know feel the same way.

Who do you think these two people are?

Both of them are me! Might they also describe you at times?

I can be the one I don’t like. If things don’t go my way, it is often easier to complain than do something about it. Sometimes I don’t feel positive about myself, and I find everything wrong with the world instead of me. When I get into this funk, people don’t like being around me. Heck, I don’t even like being around this person.

What do I do to be the positive me? Every morning when I wake up, I ask myself who I want to be. Do I want to make this world a better place or do I want to merely point out its imperfections? Do I want to be a positive influence or a negative one? Do I want to inspire people or drag them down to my level?

Sure, we must speak out against injustice and stand up for what we believe in. However, the way we achieve this is important. We need to resolve problems, not try to hammer the other person into submission. If we have differences, we should keep the channels of communication open to allow for understanding.

Yes, I have been the negative man in this article. If this part of me has hurt or offended you in any way, I apologize. Let’s talk it over and restore our relationship. I am often reminded that I am not perfect. Hopefully you can accept this and forgive me.

I remind myself of the saying, “If you point your finger at someone, there are three more fingers pointing back at you.” I would rather extend the hand of friendship than point the finger of condemnation.

Yes, every day we have the choice of having character rather than merely being one.

Being the World’s Greatest Lover

2011-03-16T22:57:00.000-04:00

I am trying to be one of the world’s greatest lovers. Don’t laugh too hard. When I say this, I am really emphasizing the word “trying”. In this quest, I have learned a few lessons about life.

The first is that there is a big difference between like and love when it comes to people. I really like people who think like I do. I usually don’t like those who don’t see things the same way I do. However, it makes no difference with the people I love. I love them when they agree with me. I love them when they don’t. In fact, there are some things I don’t like about the people I love. Doesn’t matter. I love them anyway.

Next is forgiveness. My first lesson was when I was 5. I still remember his name, Graham Henderson. When I moved to my new neighbourhood, he initiated me by rubbing my nose in dog poo. I was angry, humiliated and vowed to get revenge. It would have to wait, because he was older than I was. I spent many hours visualizing giving him a thrashing.

The time came when I had grown enough that I thought I could beat him up the next time I saw him. Then I heard an ominous sound – a moving truck. It pulled into the Henderson’s driveway. Wanting one last chance at retribution, I asked to see Graham, the object of my years of waiting. I was told that he had left for his new home and wouldn’t be back.

I realized I had wasted so much time planning my revenge, only to have it tossed away in an instant, totally out of my control. Had I spent this time doing positive things instead of planning someone’s demise, I would have been much further ahead.

Same thing happened with Dougie Ball. He had hit me in the head with a snowball, so I stuck one in the freezer for months. On a hot July day, I waited for him. When he arrived, I wound up, tossed the very hard snowball – and missed!

It took me quite a few more years to realize that forgiveness was a much better route. By forgiveness, I don’t mean allowing abuse to continue. Here’s what I mean.

Whether intentional or not, people sometimes do things that upset me or make my life more difficult. I can decide to get back. You know, an eye for an eye, but Gandhi probably said it best: “An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”
I now realize that not forgiving means I am carrying around the hurt all the time. Holding on allows that person to still have some control over me. I don’t want that.

It’s so much better to forgive a person and release the burden. The other fact is that the wrongdoer might not even care if he is forgiven or not. Do I want to be the only one who cares about the wrongdoing and suffer some more? No!

Forgiveness in my mind means releasing anything that stops you from being the person you were meant to be. Spend time on who you can be and avoid anything that prevents you from reaching your potential.

Finally, being one of the world’s greatest lovers means giving a lot of what is most precious about me. Part of the process is realizing that what I have is, indeed, precious. If I don’t think very highly of myself, then what I give to others isn’t very valuable. People who remain in abusive situations because they “love” somebody don’t get this. It is my job to be the best me I can be so I can give the very best to others.

So I continue my journey down the road of life in my quest to be one of the world’s greatest lovers. It is filled with quite a few bumps and potholes. Sometimes I go in reverse, but at least I keep heading towards the destination. I realize I’ve got a long way to go, but having love in my heart during the voyage feels a lot better than hatred.

I Hate Camping

2011-02-27T22:11:00.002-05:00

I hate camping. Why? Every camping experience of mine has been disastrous.

I once camped in the Rockies with our college group. Two things took away from the fun.

First, we shared food with our tent mates. My buddy, Alex, loved camping. I brought meals I recognized. Alex brought concoctions with lots of fibre. When far from toilets, having to dig a hole to answer nature’s call and sharing it with blood-hungry mosquitoes, you welcome constipation. Alex’s offerings had the reverse effect.

Second, I rented a sleeping bag. The camping store suggested a down-filled one for the cold nights. They were wrong. It wasn’t warm enough. Also, I discovered my allergy to feathers. At daybreak, my body itched everywhere. I got out of this cocoon and went outside into the rain.

Then I saw the moose. They have terrible eyesight. It didn’t see me. The rain prevented it from smelling me. After two days without a shower, it should have detected my scent. It walked towards me. Suddenly, its eyes bugged out. It saw me, but kept walking towards me. I had no idea what to do, so I did nothing. It calmly passed me, almost stepping on our tent.

Still, there were some laughs. I remember the Johnson girl with a plug-in make-up mirror in her backpack. There was no electricity for miles.

I vowed never to camp again, until one of our youth leaders in Ottawa, Andy, suggested winter camping in Gatineau Park. As a leader, I felt pressured to participate.

Sensing my apprehension, he assured me that snow huts waited for us at our destination and a small heated cabin for me. It sounded inviting.

The worst ice storm ever in the region closed our trail. The temperature was - 28˚C. Nothing would stop us, though.

After an afternoon blazing our own trail, it was getting dark. We had to decide immediately whether to continue trying to reach the snow huts or spend the remaining daylight setting up camp. With the temperature at - 28˚C, and our survival depending on this decision, better to deal with familiar surroundings.

A tarpaulin covering a three-foot hole in the snow became our shelter. Twenty weary campers crammed their sleeping bags into the pit.

We huddled around a huge fire, holding our bodies perilously close to the flames. The hot food tasted delicious.

Exhausted after an afternoon slogging through deep snow, I got into my sleeping bag. Suddenly a cramp in my leg felt like a volcano erupting. I got up, hunched over and did a jig under the tarp. I returned to my bag. It came back twice as hard. Trying to sleep was useless. I decided to stay up all night. Getting dressed, I actually stepped on Mark Jones’ head. He screamed, but the rest of the campers laughed.

I tried staying warm by the fire and kept it going until morning. A beautiful meteorite blazing across the sky at 4:30 a.m. was my reward for a sleepless night.

When I got home, I immediately went to the washroom and threw up.

The winter camping experience was horrible, yet when the group met again, there was a special bond among those who had participated in this adventure. Going through this unpleasantness together brought us closer. My trying to put on my clothes, bouncing around like a ping pong ball, and stepping on Mark’s head became more legendary with each telling. Something very good, indeed, had emerged from this horridness.

Sometimes life’s like this camping adventure. Even though you may be going through a rough time, once you’re through it, you may treasure having shared the experience, and something strong and beautiful can grow from it.

Maybe there’s something to be learned from the saying: "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."

When there is somebody to dance with you in the rain, you know you have a true friend. It’s easy being a friend when times are happy, but getting through the difficult times makes true friendship stronger.

Hopefully you have friends like this. If not, maybe I can be your friend. Just don’t ask me to go camping.

You’re Right!

2011-02-13T22:41:00.001-05:00

“You’re right, Peter,” I shouted across the gym when I arrived for badminton. It had been a bad day. Everything had gone wrong. Nothing provoked my outburst except the needed assurance that something or someone in the world was right. Peter was my target. His response echoed my comment. “You’re right, too, John.” Suddenly, I felt a lot better. The affirmation that I was OK warmed my soul.

At our badminton club, it’s become a regular greeting for Peter and me. It’s a bit of a joke, but it still feels good. That small interjection has helped me know the man better. What was a mere acquaintance has blossomed into a friendship.

The problem is that I don’t do this often enough. I let negative thoughts creep in. I think poorly of people when I have the option to feel differently. I look at our differences instead of what we have in common. I start wishing they were more like me, instead of celebrating their uniqueness. I might even say something negative about them.

Years ago, I learned how powerful thinking positive about someone can be. A board member of mine needed something delivered to her. The problem was it was during a snowstorm and my car heater didn’t work. I arrived at her door shivering. She saw my plight and invited me in for a warm cup of tea before sending me home.

Soon after, she started doing and saying some pretty nasty things. When the phone rang and I heard her voice barking at me, I immediately tensed up. When I sensed this, I replaced it with the picture of her giving me hot tea on that cold night. I relaxed and my voice became soothing instead of aggressive.

Six months later, she called and boldly asked me to explain myself. I asked her what she meant. She said she realized she had been treating me badly for so long, but she couldn’t understand why I had responded with kindness. She confessed her actions were due to difficulties she was having at work and not me. I told her that deep down I knew that this wasn’t her true self. The real person was the one who had given me hot tea on a cold night. I had chosen to think good things about her.
I could have gotten angry and argued back. Maybe I would have gotten her respect. I’m not sure I would have won her friendship. This way I got both and received the admiration of others who watched my quiet dignity in response to her attacks. This was a case where doing right was much more important than being right.

The way I figure, I have a choice to make every day when I wake up. I can be positive or negative. Experience has taught me that being negative doesn’t work very well.

As an occasional teacher, I faced the same decision every time I stepped into a classroom. I found that the best days occurred when the students saw that I truly wanted to be with them. I did my best to find something positive about them as soon as I arrived.

However, I often fall flat on my face. I say or do the wrong thing in spite of my intentions. It can be so easy being negative and finding faults. I have suffered from foot in mouth disease.

Realizing my imperfections helps me a lot, though. Who am I to criticize when I am far less than perfect? So I try to find the positive in everyone. I don’t always succeed. It’s difficult to love people when they don’t love themselves. In those cases, rather than stay and fight, I usually just remove myself from the situation.
Anyway, who wants to be around a negative person? I don’t. When I’m negative, I don’t want to be around myself. Why should others?

Every day I’m trying to make a conscious effort to find something good about everyone. I find that when I am positive others feel better and so do I. The world seems a little bit better. Why not give it a try? Tell some people you know how wonderful they are. And if you see Peter, tell him he’s right.

It Can Be Done

2011-01-30T15:17:00.002-05:00

“Don’t ever tell them it can’t be done!” That was the advice a colleague, Craig, gave me long ago. He was a veteran instructor where I taught computer applications.

Craig’s next prophetic comment was, “Even though you think it can’t be done, it may be that you just haven’t figured out how to do it. With computers, we’re always discovering things we can do.” Claiming something couldn’t be done might mean setting myself up to have my credibility reduced when a student would, indeed, show me it could be done.

Many weekends were spent with my computer like a student cramming for a final exam. I learned things I didn’t know in order to teach them, sometimes to people who had been using it for months. I suddenly had to become the expert. I had to find out how things could be done.

Often students asked how you did this or that. I heeded Craig’s advice. Not once did I say something couldn’t be done. Usually I said that I would get back to them and rush to the coffee room during a break to see if my colleagues knew. Sometimes I would simply say that I didn’t know, but would contact them if I ever found out.

Teaching computer courses made me realize that I don’t know everything. There is always something new to discover. It also taught me to search for ways to do something rather than sit back and claim it can’t be done.

History is filled with stories of people who did things when others were sceptical.

People said it was impossible to create a flying machine. Many tried and failed. The Wright brothers did it.

My mother told me we would never get to the moon. Jules Verne envisioned this more than a century before, even picking Florida as the launch site when it was nothing more than a swamp. We all know what happened.

In hockey, there was a time when it was assumed that a defenseman would never score 20 goals or more per season. I guess nobody told Bobby Orr.

On and on it goes. There are many more examples.

But here’s a point I want to make. In life you will meet many who feel their role is to shoot down your balloons. Usually with great authority and feigning wisdom, they will tell you why and how things can’t be done, just like the “experts” gave advice to the Wright brothers.

I usually don’t need this advice. Often, I already know how things can’t be done. I wish they would spend their energies and talents figuring out how things could be done instead. My history with these types is that they usually spend most of their lives tearing things down and building very little. There is a lot of talk and little action.

Sure, reality says there are things I can’t do. I can’t walk through a brick wall. However, in the Town’s long-range plan you will see an idea about Elton John buying
the Opera House and restoring it to its original splendour. Yep, that’s my little dream. My personal vision goes much deeper than this, but that’s for another time. Impossible? Some may believe so. I don’t.

Maybe you have dreams. Come share them with me. Maybe I can help. There are many imaginative, positive and innovative people in St. Marys who may be able to help you, too. But don’t give up on your dreams just because others think they can’t happen. They can!

Some of my favourite people are the Hope for Haiti group. Their enthusiasm, dedication and optimism are infectious. Haiti is a country where there might be cause for little hope, but that doesn’t stop them. Wonderful!

George Bernard Shaw in his play, The Serpent, wrote: “You see things as they are and ask, ‘Why?’ I dream things as they never were and ask, ‘Why not?’" From the same play comes: “Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire; you will what you imagine; and at last you create what you will.”

Pretty powerful words, but I still like Craig’s simple words. “Don’t ever tell them it can’t be done.”

The Last-Minute Purchase

2010-12-04T22:05:00.001-05:00

Me work in a jewellery store? It’s hard to imagine. I don’t wear any accessories, not even a watch. However, the sign was in the window many years ago when I was a teenager and I needed the money. They must have needed help for Christmas and I mean “really needed” help to hire me. So I became an employee for Morse Jewellers in Northtown Plaza in Willowdale for the holiday season.

Not having any interest in jewellery reflected in my sales. After two weeks, George, my boss, brought out the sales figures. I was dead last. The only thing I was good at was selling aftershave. We had a nice one called British Stirling. I convinced the women who were buying it for their men that they were really buying it for themselves. It didn’t matter if their husband or boyfriend liked it. If it pleased them, it was the right one.

The closer we got to Christmas, the busier the store got. We braced ourselves for the big day, Christmas Eve.

True to form, many customers, mostly men, rushed into the store desperate to find the perfect gift for their loved ones. Of course, we had just what they wanted, showing them the more expensive items and only showing lower priced ones if they asked.

About a half an hour before closing, a young girl came into the store with a worried look. All the stores would be closing soon. I asked her if I could help her.

“I want to buy a gift for my mom,” she said. “It has to be something very special.”

“What can you tell me about your mom?” I asked.

“She’s beautiful,” came the reply.

My next question was how much money she had to spend.

“Six dollars.”

“Six dollars!” I thought. There was very little in the store to choose from at that price. Meanwhile, the store suddenly got crowded with last minute shoppers. George, my boss, gave me a quick glare.

“Does your mother wear earrings?”

“Yes, she does.”

“Are her ears pierced?”

“Yes, they are.”

Now we were getting somewhere. I knew that we had some earrings that would fit into her price range.

I patiently showed her several pairs. Nothing seemed special enough for the young girl’s mom. The store was filling up; wallets being flipped out like a shootout at the OK Corral. George kept furtively glancing at me.

Finally, like the star in the east, a pair of earrings appeared. The little girl gasped, “They’re perfect. My mom will love these.”

Quickly, we rushed to the cash register and I rung in the sale. It came to $4.98. As I started to put the earrings in the bag two big, brown eyes sparkled at me with great joy. Yes, the joy of the season was in her eyes.

I couldn’t stop my next sentence. I blurted, “Would you like that gift wrapped?”

“Would you?” she squealed.

I went to the back of the store. George’s eyes followed me like searchlights looking for enemy aircraft. He was scrambling to serve the many customers.

I got out one of the special Morse Jewellery boxes, wrapped it gold paper, put red ribbon around it and asked, “Would you like a bow?”

“Oh, yes!”

I found a perfect red one. The gift looked beautiful, fit for the best mom in the world. She must have been the best mom in the world. What other kind of mother would raise such a wonderful child.

She walked out of the store, head held high, reminiscent of one of the wise men in days of old bringing a gift for a special child born in Bethlehem. I walked her to the door, opened it and delivered her to her dad, who had watched the proceedings from outside with great interest.

It was one minute to six. I turned around and there was George. Let’s just say he didn’t wish me a Merry Christmas. In fact, he wasn’t very merry at all.

“We had many customers who wanted to spend a lot of money and you wasted a lot of time on a sale of $4.98. Not only that, you gift-wrapped her present. We only do that for purchases of over $10.”

Without hesitation, fear and in a cheery voice, I replied, “Yes, there were many with lots of money, but this child knows the true spirit of giving. She gave most of what she had. All I did was thank her for showing me what Christmas is all about. It’s not about money. It’s about giving. Merry Christmas, George.”

This Is The Way The World Ends

2010-09-04T17:52:00.004-04:00

I love the news. Always have; always will. I just have to know what's going on. I am constantly looking for scraps of information to read.

I was just poking around the Internet, Yahoo to be exact, and I noticed the following headline - Mass Extinction Threat: Earth on Verge of Huge Reset Button?

The article was fascinating. It's a scenario that most of us are well aware of. Humans have drastically changed the environment to the extent that many species are now on the brink of extinction. It looks like the situation is not going to improve.

This article started me wondering how other people thought about the state of the Earth. Here we are, perched on the precipice of major upheaval. What are we going to do? The answer to my question was not very far away.

To the bottom left was a hyperlink to another article. The title was "Out the Door." It was about Kara DioGuardi leaving 'American Idol' and it got me thinking.

I wondered how many people would click on the American Idol story and not the one on the mass extinction threat. The whole world could be falling apart and people seem to care more about Jon and Kate or Lindsay Lohan. When was the last time you went to the supermarket checkout and saw a magazine that didn't tell how somebody lost 15 pounds in one week? When was the last time you saw something that really mattered?

I guess the only way serious news can get more attention is if we turn it into a reality show. Hold on! Aren't things like the environment more real than reality shows? Maybe the way BP can mend fences with the American public is to appear on "Dancing with the Stars."

Toby

2010-03-24T21:52:00.003-04:00

He just kept on getting better and better. Then, just like a candle that quickly sputters and dies, he was gone. I think we sometimes have emotions because we can't express ourselves in words. I will miss my friend.

What you see isn’t what you get

2010-01-03T09:31:00.002-05:00

If you click on the link below, you will see what they can do in movies to make you think you are watching actors in situations that are not reality. Yet, they seem so real.

What you see isn’t what you get

I find that life is often like this. I see what is placed before me and I make judgments based on my reality. While the elements that make up the whole picture may be real, I may be experiencing something that is very false.

Having worked in television, how raw footage is edited can change a story completely, even without the fancy effects you have seen.

Although I don't always succeed, I try to adopt an attitude of being open to new ideas that may radically change how I feel. Sure, I have my value system that has been shaped over the years, but I am always on the lookout for new information that may show me that what has seemed to be real in the past may not be. The great risk is that the new reality may prove to be smoke and mirrors, too.

I guess it all comes down to the fact that you will believe what you want to believe. Having adopted that belief, you will not want to move from that comfort zone.

Oh well, just some random thoughts in the new year. It's been awhile since I have posted something. We'll see how prolific I am in 2010.

Forrest Gump

2009-11-28T21:09:00.003-05:00

Life certainly is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get. That's how I feel about the movie Forrest Gump. I just don't get it.

I have watched it several times, even tonight. I still don't understand what the message of the movie is.

I certainly feel for Forrest. I have experienced many of the same emotions he has had. I have waited and waited for my "Jenny" in my life. I have done the unconventional and somehow come out just fine.

But I still don't know what it is all about. And it just ends with a feather floating in the air after he has sent his son off to school.

Mind you, there are times when I just don't get things because, like Forrest Gump, I am pretty naive about life. If anyone can help me, please send me a comment. I will be sure to post it. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is confused.

ESL adventures

2009-11-11T18:47:00.004-05:00

I really love teaching ESL. Every day brings a laugh or two. It sometimes works out that my students teach me a thing or two about life, particularly when I hear their stories. I am thankful and happy for the life I have lead.

Names in other cultures are fun, too. In one class, one of the students is named Heh, pronounced as if you were saying, "Hey, Jude." Unfortunately, this is the way I often greet people, which has her looking at me every time I meet somebody.

In the same class is a woman with the name Pie, but it is pronounced "pee". Another has the name Kah Kah, which sounds like it is spelled. So in the same class I have pee and caca, which is the word for poo in French.

The challenging part is trying to communicate with adults who often have no clue what I am saying. You have to be innovative in explaining a concept. For example, some of the students put the small "p" above the line. How can you tell them that it is too high when they don't know the words too and high?

What I did was loosen my belt and pull my pants up as high as I could so they looked silly and said that when they wrote their "p"s, they looked funny like this. Well, the whole class cracked up. You know what? It worked. Somehow they got the idea.

There are times when it is pure joy. One of their favourite songs is "Hello, Goodbye" by the Beatles. As soon as I sing, "You say yes," they sing, "I say no," and off we go with the whole song. It's magic.

My hope is that one day their English will be good enough that we will be able to sit down over a cup of coffee and discuss anything and everything.

2009-09-13T08:52:00.002-04:00

I subscribe to a daily email from Kim Komando, a woman who is a high tech guru in the United States. She has a video of the day. Usually they are pretty good. This one is exceptional.

This one is by Malaysian director Yasmin Ahmad, who died of a stroke in July.

All I can say is get out your Kleenex.

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Brian Clark

2009-09-12T22:29:00.002-04:00

He is my connection to the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. Brian Clark was one of the few people who worked above where the planes struck the towers and survived. I was shocked to see his face on the television many months after.

It's funny how people weave into your life, exit and pop up again many years later. Brian Clark was on my softball team in 1973, I believe. He played second base. Offensively, he wasn't a huge threat, but he rarely made an error defensively.

Knowing he lived through the terrorist attack made it more real to me. Often we hear of tragic events, but really don't relate to them. They happen to others far away. Brian brought it much closer to me.

When you hear his story, it is quite amazing. Initially he was leading a group down the stairs in the South Tower. A couple of people were coming up and told everyone that it would be better to go higher. An argument started among the employees. Brian heard a voice of a trapped man on the floor they were on. He went to extract him from the wreckage. When he returned to the stairwell with the man, nobody was there.

At that point, he could have gone up like everybody else did. He didn't. He continued down the stairwell. That decision saved his life. Within a few minutes of his leaving the building, it collapsed, killing all who were inside it.

I remember the CBC asking if he felt any guilt. His response was that he didn't. They had made their choice and he had made his. He wasn't responsible for their decision.

I feel there are some life lessons to learn from this story. Sometimes everybody tells us the direction we should follow. They tell us to go up, when we strongly feel we should go down. We can be swayed by what others say. They can put fear in our hearts and their words may seem logical. Sometimes we need to be like Brian. We need to do what we feel is right, even if it means going against the grain. It may mean going through some immediate discomfort and working your way through wreckage. At the end of it all, it may mean your release from disaster. Sure, you could have climbed to the higher floors and experienced momentary relief, but the result was sad.

Regardless of whether there is anything to be learned from this, Brian put a human face to the story, bringing it a lot closer, and making it real.

I'm Going To Change My World

2009-09-06T18:39:00.001-04:00

I want to change my world
I want to change my world
I want to change my world
Change my world

I'm going to change my world
I'm going to change my world
Yes, I'm going to change my world
Change my world

I will turn the night to light
I will change the wrong to right
I will never lose my sight
I'll change my world

It's with me I have to start
Take the love that's in my heart
And from this point depart
And change the world

As I stand upon this stage
I'll erase all thoughts of rage
Today I'll turn the page
And change the world

Not a country will be missed
With open hands and not a fist
In harmony we will exist
We'll change our world

I'm going to change my world
I'm going to change my world
Yes, I'm going to change my world
Change my world

Teaching ESL

2009-08-23T12:29:00.002-04:00

Teaching ESL is such a joyful experience. I sometimes wonder who learns the most. Each day I am immersed in the values and cultures of people who have come to Canada. Many of them have escaped very difficult circumstances, often leaving everything behind for the chance of freedom and safety.

I wish everybody could hear their stories. Canadians would get a greater appreciation for our own country. Also, some of the negative attitudes towards immigrants would disappear.

Teaching newcomers is sometimes not easy. Some come from places, like China, where there is no alphabet in their language. The Arabic alphabet doesn't resemble ours in the slightest and they write from right to left. Some of our sounds are difficult for them to make, like "th".

The approach I take is like putting post-it notes on a fridge. I stick as many as I can on each day. When I arrive the next day, I see how many have blown off and I start putting them on again.

Learning a language is not an instant process. It's like putting drops of water in a glass a few at a time. In the beginning, you might not see much happening and get a bit discourages. Drop by drop the glass eventually fills up as long as you keep putting liquid in.

Come to think of it, that's the way many things are in life. We live in an era where we want an instant fix to everything, but many things, including building great character, are the result of a long, difficult process.

Fantastic!

2009-08-22T09:46:00.002-04:00

Fantastic! Unbelievable! Wonderful! Fabulous! Awesome!

I have been teaching my ESL students different ways to say very good.

Every morning I ask them how they are. If they say, "Very good," or "Fine, thank you," I ask them again and again until they say one of these words. Once in awhile I get "Tanfastic" instead of fantastic, but just saying these words has made the class a more positive environment.

I'm sure all of the students and many of my teacher colleagues will remember me every time they hear the word fantastic.

I know some of my other verbal mannerisms have stuck on people. When I was with Softball Canada and the Canadian Association of Journalists, if I had a question, I would raise my hand and say "question". Many of my board members started immitating me.

It's funny how we associate words and things with people. It can be something as simple as yellow Volkswagons, almonds, a certain brand of perfume, but the most amusing one in my life is our toilet.

We just had a low-flush toilet installed in our home. It reminds me of our friend Goksel Kortay in Turkey. What on earth would be the association between this lovely woman and plumbing? It was made in Turkey. So every time I flush, along with the water, the memories of Goksel are flushed into my mind and I immediately start sending kind thoughts her way.

False Promises

2009-08-17T16:27:00.004-04:00

"You can have anything you want - if you want it badly enough. You can be anything you want to be, have anything you desire, accomplish anything you set out to accomplish - if you will hold to that desire with singleness of purpose."

Robert Collier
Writer and Publisher

I got this little note on something I get called Insight of the Day. Most days I love getting these nuggets of wisdom. While I understand the purpose of the above quote - we should expand our horizons and not limit our potential - I am concerned about the messages that tell you can have anything you want. Think about it.

There is nothing on this earth that I would like than to be a professional baseball player.

Yesterday, Tiger Woods didn't with the PGA Championship. I can't imagine anyone wanting to win more than he did.

And how about Tyson Gay? Do you think he didn't want to win the 100 metre final badly at the World Track and Field Championships?

In Tiger and Tyson's instances, other people just happened to perform better than they did. In the case of my desire to be a professional baseball player, while the desire might be there, I don't have the body of twenty-two year old anymore.

I imagine Robert Collier might say that Tiger, Tyson and I didn't want it badly enough or hold to the desire with a singleness of purpose. I like to think of it, rather, of having a touch of reality in my life.

Unlike those who send money to televangelists who lead extravagant lives on the promise of God giving them more money than they can imagine, I just give what I can towards anything. In other words, I give it my all. Yes, I have an objective or goal in mind, and some of them come true. But I do allow for the fact that sometimes in life your strongest desires, your fondest dreams just don't work out. That doesn't mean that you have failed. It just means that there is something better for you around the corner. You just have to keep on walking.

Don't give up on your dreams. They are wonderful to have. And there are some that will be difficult to let go, but don't pretend that they will all come true just because you desire them. That just isn't reality. Of course the people who do believe and have their dreams come true will preach this hope to you, and usually charge you to hear their inspirational message. Why? Because they figure that is what got them where they are. And there is some truth in what they say, but to come out and say you can have anything is stretching it a bit far.

Just so I don't sound too negative, here is a recent one that I really liked.

"Living consciously involves being genuine; it involves listening and responding to others honestly and openly; it involves being in the moment."

Sidney Poitier
Actor and Author of The Measure of a Man

Good quote and great actor!

ESL Logic

2009-08-10T16:45:00.002-04:00

I am teaching English as a second language this summer. It is a delight. It is interesting looking at your own culture through the eyes of others. It is often very funny, too. Such was the case today.

My students were on a human treasure hunt. For example, they were trying to find somebody who could speak three languages. Another task was to try to find somebody who could play the piano. The problem was there there wasn't a single soul in the class who played this instrument.

I decided that this was the time to teach them what "nobody" meant. I went to each person in the class and asked, "Can you play the piano?" Each answer was, "No, I don't." I then indicated that when the answers were no, no, no for each person, we would say, "Nobody can play the piano."

I then went around the room and asked, "Can you use a computer?" The answers were all, "Yes, I can." I then asked them what the word would be if all responses were yes. The reply came quickly - "Yesbody can use a computer." And you know what? It makes perfect sense. I then explained that the word was everybody. The student's response made my day.

Taking It Like A Pro

2009-07-17T22:20:00.005-04:00

I had to laugh last week.

The Toronto Blue Jays released one of their pitchers, B. J. Ryan. The manager called him into his office before the game and the newspaper article said that B. J. took the news like a pro.

I have a couple of comments.

Of course he should take it like a pro. He is a pro, so why shouldn't he act like one.

But that's not the one that has me chuckling.

Even though B. J. Ryan is cut from the team, he will still get $15 million. Hey, cut me for a mere million and I will take it like a pro.

Think about it. If you get $15 million dollars, unless you go out and invest it unwisely, you are set up for life. You don't have to lift a finger if you don't want to. You can live a very comfortable lifestyle.

So what does B. J. Ryan have to worry about? His pride? I think $15 million should take away some of the pain. Anyway, I have just heard today that he has been scooped up by the Chicago Cubs. The way I figure, he's taking this news like a pro, too - all the way to the bank.

Important Deaths

2009-07-03T23:20:00.000-04:00

Does anybody remember what the most important news was a couple of weeks ago? It was people protesting the results of the election in Iran. People were being beaten and some were killed.

Then the death of Michael Jackson pushed all of this to the back burner. It seems that the world cares more about the fate of his three children than millions of people in Iran. Heck, the death of Billy Mays, the guy who hawked Oxy-Clean on the television, has been given greater prominence in the last few days.

Indeed, it seems that there are some deaths more important than others. If we can put a familiar face to it, then it touches us more dearly.

Michael Jackson

2009-06-25T22:23:00.003-04:00

He died today. Many around the world will be writing about his life. I will be brief.

There are those in life who are so rare that they are beyond comparison. Michael Jackson was one of those people. Rather than representing culture and society, he helped define it.

Razor Blades

2009-06-16T19:40:00.003-04:00

It all started with a single blade with two edges in the good old days. It did a great job of removing the hair from your face. It also did a very good job of scraping half of the skin from your face and slitting your throat at the same time. You would then splash on some cheap after shave, something like Aqua Velva or Brut if you were more adventurous, let out a scream like Tarzan and apply a roll of toilet tissue to the open gash. You felt that you gave less blood to the Red Cross, yet they used to call this a "safety" razor.

Next came the twin blade. Smoother shave, less blood, more efficient and a bit pricier.

Hmm, how do we improve it? Let's allow the head to pivot, and charge people a bit more. And then we can put a Teflon strip to help it glide better.

What comes after two blades? Three, of course! And we will get the pivoting head, the Teflon strip and add a battery-operated vibration to nick those little hairs in style.

You guessed it. They have one with four now. How long will it take before there are ten blades.

I like progress, though. I also appreciate the skin that has been allowed to grow back on my neck. However, there is something that has got me pretty steamed up.

Razor blades cost too much. I remember when you used to get ten of the original safety razor blades for less than a buck. I just bought eight triple blades and the bill came to over twenty-nine dollars. It can't cost even close to that to make them.

Since one of the Gillettes owns the New England Patriots, I figure I am financing the football team with my grooming aids. Now I like football, but I figure Tom Brady can make a few million less if it means cheaper razor blades.

What is a man to do? Do I protest by growing a beard? At this stage in life, I don't need more white hair. I am surprised that somebody hasn't started making generic blades. My guess is that there is some sort of patent on the design so it can't be copied.

I have an idea. I should create a holder that fits into the Gillette razor that holds blades made to my design. I could make millions. I might be able to buy the Phoenix Coyotes and move them to Hamilton. Wait, somebody has just tried to do that and failed. Anyway, I could have a lot of fun with my money.

Or maybe I could find a way to go back to the original double-edge safety blade, that is if they sell them anywhere. I may go even one better. I will buy a straight edge razor, the one you see barbers weild in the old westerns. You have to sharpen them on a leather strop, but they seem to give a pretty close shave and at a fraction of the cost.

New Relationships

2009-06-10T22:37:00.003-04:00

A call came out of the blue the other week. It seems I had signed a contract in 1994 with a company that gave it certain "electronic" rights. It was creating a problem in today's world because the meaning of what these rights entailed had changed. My feeling is that most people in 1994 would have had a hard time envisioning just what electronic rights would mean in 2009. Things have change that much. The question becomes, when the technology changes, does the meaning of the word changes. Also, does somebody have an obligation to accept the new meaning, one that couldn't have been predicted, when he signed a contract under a different set of circumstances?

This line of thinking has more to do than with legal contracts. Our relationships have changed immensely over the past decade. We are more in touch with people, many of them strangers, than ever before without touching them. Text messaging, Facebook and Twitter have brought new dimensions to the way we interact with each other.

Just like my legal contract, how do we maintain our relationships in a world where the very meaning of that word often changes faster than we can keep up with it?

The Doldrums

2009-05-25T21:21:00.002-04:00

I remember learning about the adventures of Christopher Columbus and his trips to the West Indies. One of the problems he encountered was the lack of wind - the doldrums - when his ships entered the Sargasso Sea.

Well, as far as the thoughts of Johnny V., I have hit the doldrums. I still think about lots of things and I have the odd interesting thought. It's just that I don't feel any desire to write very much these days. My inspiration just isn't there. Hopefully it will return. It is as if the wind has been taken out of my sails.

I look forward to the days in the future when the gusts will pick up and I will feel the force drawing me towards my destiny. It just isn't happening right now.

It has been said that people have to suffer for their art. I find that my writing is quite the opposite. I write best when I have a zest for life and feel it coursing through my hair. That just isn't happening right now.

The Tamil Protest

2009-05-14T22:01:00.004-04:00

I understand that innocent people are being killed in Sri Lanka. They are also being killed in many other parts of the world, too. However, there is something about the way the Tamils in Canada are bringing it to our attention that bothers me.

Canada is already involved in Afghanistan and many are saying that we should not be involved there. How is Sri Lanka any different?

From what I have read, the situation is quite different, though. There have been many attempts to negotiate peace on the island once known as Ceylon. The 2006 attempt failed. A Wikipedia entry on the Tamil Tigers (the LTTE)states:

Further peace talks were scheduled in Oslo, Norway, on June 8 and 9, 2006, but canceled when the LTTE refused to meet directly with the government delegation, claiming its fighters were not being allowed safe passage to travel to the talks. Norwegian mediator Erik Solheim told journalists that the LTTE should take direct responsibility for the collapse of the talks.

So now there are Tamils in the street of Toronto trying to force the Canadian government to take action. Why are they trying to force us to do something? As I understand, we are being told that this disruption will continue until we do what they want. Why should we forced to enter into a civil war that has been going on for years? Why can't the Tamils themselves become the agents for peace in their own land?

Yes, there may be many things I don't understand about the situation, but the actions of the Tamils in Canada are not making me feel sympathetic about their cause, particularly when there appears to be close ties with the Tamil Tigers, a group that Canada considers a bunch of terrorists.

If I am wrong educate me, but don't threaten me.

By The Time I Get To Phoenix

2009-05-08T07:41:00.007-04:00

Concerning Research in Motion's Jim Balsillie's (on the left) attempt to buy the Phoenix Coyotes franchise and move it to Southern Ontario, NHL deputy commissioner Bill Daly (on the right) had this to say:

"It doesn't take into consideration all the people and the money that has been spent on and devoted to the Coyotes franchise here in Glendale, both in the creation of a new building that was paid for largely by taxpayers and in the emotional and financial connection Coyotes fans have with their team.

"In any situation we believe, once you've committed to a market, you have to give the market a fair chance to succeed or fail and I don't think this market has had that chance at this point of time."

I can think of two words to say to Mr. Daly - Winnipeg and Quebec. My guess is that there would be few tears shed by the departure of the NHL team in Phoenix. The people of Winnipeg would dearly love to have another crack at a franchise.

Are people worried about too many teams around Toronto? New York has three teams and New York citizens don't have the same passion for hockey Canadians do. No, this is not a convincing argument.

So, what's the problem? There is no doubt that a Southern Ontario team would be a success financially and in fan interest. Many are saying that much of it is the struggle of egos between Jim Balsillie and league commissioner Gary Bettman, which is why Daly made the most recent response. I think there is something else to consider.

The NHL keeps trying to convince the Americans that it is a major player on the sports scene. It's all about marketing. Looking at the current Canadian teams, Toronto and Montreal are solid. Because Calgary has hosted the Olympics and Vancouver will be hosting them, Americans are aware of them. Edmonton has been on shaky ground for years. Going there is compared to being sent to Siberia. In the league's eyes, if the American public doesn't know or care about a city, it is expendable as in Winnipeg, Quebec and Edmonton.

You can imagine, then, the tremors the league's brass has when they contemplate hockey night in Hamilton or Waterloo. To them, Kansas City and Portland are more recognizable to Americans. Putting a team into these city will give the league more credibility in the eyes of the US media. Forget what is in the fans' hearts. My guess is that Moscow or Toyko has more of a chance of a franchise than Jim Balsillie's attempt to put one into a hockey-starved Southern Ontario city. Of course, Canadians don't share or accept this view, but try telling somebody in New York, Chicago or Los Angeles that his team has to fly to Hamilton, Ontario. Where?

Don't believe me? Tell me, which city has a greater population, Kansas City or Hamilton? It's Hamilton. Hamilton is bigger than Buffalo, too, and about the same size as Portland, Nashville, Seattle and Baltimore. Who would have thought that? Not many. But which cities will capture the hearts of Americans as being seen as a sport having arrived in prominence? Not any of the Canadian ones except Calgary, Vancouver, Toronto and Montreal.

And that is probably why Jim Balsillie has met his Waterloo.

Sound Off

2009-05-04T07:22:00.003-04:00

Sorry I haven't been writing much lately. I've been busy. I've been launching my Facebook group called Sound Off.

Yes, it's a play on words. It is a group dedicated to issues relating to the sound polution of our environment.

There are many horror stories of people who have been bullied by sound. There are scads out there who feel it is their right to play music or make noise. Sometimes they even do things like alter their vehicles, be it the muffler or an expensive sound system with extra bass, to make even more noise.

If you want to join, check it out.

Unfortunately, the people who are subjected to these bad vibrations often suffer in silence. Their ears are raped by inconsiderate "soundanistas" who equate freedom as imposing their will on others.

Just like non-smokers pressed for their rights and won, the time has come for those who want to live a life in peace to do the same. The information is there. Excessive sound is bad for your health. It is ignored. If I work in a factory, there is legislation under the terminology of health and safety that requires me to wear earplugs. In society, though, we tolerate, ney, condone and encourage, activities where sound levels exceed these limits. Why?

All we are saying is give peace a chance.

All A-Twitter

2009-04-26T14:55:00.006-04:00

It sounds like a plausible analogy. The person was being interviewed about text messaging and Twitter. She was asked if this might have a negative effect in human interaction. Her response compared it to what would have happened when the telephone came on the scene. People long ago, she stated, probably complained that not seeing somebody face to face would lessen the human interaction.

And for two seconds I believed it. Then I thought, "Didn't Marshall McLuhan say that the medium is the message?"

You could say that television is just radio with pictures, but that's not true. In the same way the affect of Twitter and instant text messaging is not the same as what happened when telephones came on the scene. Sure, some of the questions might be the same, but if McLuhan is right, the answers should be quite different.

What amazes me is how people have no problem writing the script of their life as it unfolds. You get this a lot on Facebook, too, but it is intensified on Twitter. You get the play-by-play of everything they choose to reveal. And it is broadcast to everyone that person chooses to allow to tell. Interesting.

Not quite like the telephone, is it? When I pick up the phone, I am speaking to a specific person, not broadcasting it to an audience.

You could say that writing this blog is even worse. Here I am expressing my thoughts to many people and I don't even know who is reading this. There is very little feedback. And while I stick my thoughts and emotions out there for anyone to see, I wonder from time to time if exposing my inner feelings does any good. Perhaps it is a waste of time. Why do I keep on writing, then? I enjoy writing. To be a better writer, I feel you have to write, so I keep at it.

So is Twitter ultimately good for society? I don't know. Like all technology, my suspicion is that it depends how you use it. My only concern is that we seem to be approaching a world that is becoming more and more like what George Orwell predicted. The other fear is that we are not sure what the real message of this medium is in the terms of McLuhan. Is it hot or is it cool?

Susan Boyle

2009-04-22T08:17:00.005-04:00

Imagine the Miss Universe Pageant. The contestants parade onto the stage in their evening gowns. Suddenly one of the judges feels that one of the girls is not dressed in the proper attire and asks if she has something else. She instantly says she has and goes backstage and just as quickly emerges in another costume, much to the approval of everyone.

What would you say if this happened? Now watch this.

Shaheen's performance

In this clip you will see the latest sensation on Britain's Got Talent, Shaheen Jafargholi, sing a song. The crowd and two of the judges seem to appreciate his offering. Simon does not. He stops the kid, tells him he has it all wrong, and asks if he has anything else. He replies that he has and instantly belts out another tune.

What's happening here? Here are my thoughts.

This was planned. The kid would have probably made it through this round with his original performance. Why would a judge force somebody to change? This is supposed to be a competion. Look at the lack of emotion on Shaheen when he is told to stop. Listen to how quickly the second song is ready to roll. Am I the only one who is suspicious? I don't think so.

Then why did the producers of the show plan this? My answer is money and power. The success of Susan Boyle the previous week was phenomenal, one could even say astronomical. Unfortunately, this was not good for the future of the show. An outpouring of this proportion amounts to a crowning of the winner early on in the game unless .... another challenger can be found.

That is exactly what happened through the magic of television. Jafargholi overcame the power of the evil Simon to win everyone over and create the controversy of who is the better talent.

Richard Ouzounian of the Toronto Star enters the debate with the suggestion to shut your eyes and listen to Susan Boyle and you will discover that her voice sounds the same on the two songs you can find on YouTube. That is why she is destined to lose the competition. Nice try, Richard. Your logic doesn't convince me. I could do this with Celine Dion or Shania Twain or Faith Hill. Many of their songs sound the same. Why? Unless you are an impersonator, you are born with one voice.

However, I do agree with Ouzounian that Sarah Boyle may well lose. Why? Just like Hollywood will often plan different endings for movies and select the one based on controlled screening approvals, my guess is that the producers of Britain's Got Talent will do the same. What ending will create the most controversy? Which one will give it the highest ratings and generate the most media coverage? They are well on their way to achieving that already. What concerns me is that few seem to care about or understand this manipulation.

Have you ever wondered why on Survivor, for example, why it only takes a majority to get somebody off the island, but it always seems to come down to a final vote? My logic tells me that once in awhile the result should be determined early on in the game, just like if you roll the dice often enough, you will consecutively roll numbers under seven several times in a row. Then why do they do this? For the same reason you have to wait to see who is eliminated on Dancing with the Stars. It heightens the emotion and boosts ratings - artificially. You are not being told the whole truth.

Having seen the Shaheen clip on Britain's Got Talent, it makes me wonder how much Susan Boyle's performance was manipulated to create the desired effect.

Both Susan and Shaheen have great talent. They deserve all the accolades they earn. It is a pity when third parties sully the competition for motives that may, indeed, help both of them, but are designed, in my opinion, to line the pockets of the people producing the show.

Dominoes

2009-04-16T18:36:00.002-04:00

A friend asked me today how it was going. It’s a question that is often asked and the reply is usually as automatic as the request. Today was different.

Rather than just mutter, “OK,” or “Great,” I felt a bit more philosophical. Let’s face it. Most days are pretty normal. I certainly don’t experience fireworks every day. My guess is that you don’t either.

If you have been reading my blog on a regular basis, you know that I am an occasional teacher. I fill in for others when they have a day off. Some days are fantastic; the odd one is not so great. A lot has to do with my attitude in front of the students. However, what has happened in the lives of the more than twenty faces in front of me can make a difference in the experience. It only takes one person to announce that he has peed in the pool to empty it. Sometimes that happens.

As mundane as each day is, I have recently looked at things differently. I love imagery and this one has helped me realize how even the ordinary days can be special.

My reply to my friend that my life recently has been filled with days where I feel I have been like the people who set up dominoes in a pattern. I am not wasting my time at all. What I am doing is building the complex design, placing the small rectangles, one by one, in the proper configuration to start a wonderful chain reaction. One day the first domino will topple and crash into the next, starting the whole process. It will all unfold the way it was supposed to happen.

The important part is that I am faithfully placing the dominoes in place. Sure, the process is tedious. It may be boring. There may be times when I want to give up. I could do that – give up. The result would be a lot less spectacular.

I just keep laying them down, waiting for that day, and having the faith that it will come.

It Tastes Funny

2009-04-13T21:59:00.001-04:00

Ask people to name a type of national cooking and Italian will be close to the top every time. There’s a good reason. It tastes great.

When I was in Italy a couple of years ago, I didn’t feel I had very many delectable meals. Not very much was appealing to my palate. Don’t blame the chefs. It wasn’t their fault. My taster was off.

Blame it on pain and drugs! We went to Italy prior to my hip-replacement surgery. The discomfort was so great that I was on Oxycontin, a narcotic to take it away. When I felt sore, I really couldn’t concentrate on the quality of a meal. If I took the drugs, it sort of made everything a blur and definitely lessened the enjoyment of food. The only things I really savoured were gelato (Italian ice cream) and wine.

Regardless, the trip was a great success and I look back on it fondly.

A few months later I had my hip surgery, which turned out to be a success. I get around quite well without pain and can participate in many of the activities I enjoyed before.

There are times in my life and others where our taste for living doesn’t have the same gusto either. Often something has caused pain or we are masking our day-to-day existence with some activity or practice to help us forget.

I think of this sometimes when I encounter other people. Their actions or attitude may not be exactly what I would like to encounter. Rather than merely react in a negative way, I try to see if I can take away some of the pain or cause of the bitterness. Sometimes I succeed.

In a similar way, I hope that people realize that I may not act in the most appropriate way all of the time either.

Why is such an important question? I could have departed Italy thinking what people think about the food is grossly exaggerated. Knowing why I thought this helped me come to opinion that the problem wasn’t the food.

Asking why people behave the way they do and say what they say is equally important. Sometimes the answer is not so obvious, but it is worth a try.

Proof The World is Crazy

2009-04-09T08:08:00.002-04:00

They say we are losing the war on drugs. No wonder! When you take away all of the amunition, it is difficult to win any war.

Recently a man was foud unconscious behind the wheel of his car at an intersection. While searching the Jeep Cherokee for any clues why this might have happened, the police came across crack cocaine. In case you don't know, this drug is illegal.

Well, it seems as if finding the cocaine in this manner has breached the man's constitutional rights. Why are we protecting the criminals? When I cross the border, customs officers can check my car for drugs. What's the difference? I can understand why our police officers sometimes get pretty frustrated with the legal system. They do their best to make our society safer, yet they have to put up with decisions like this. It is as if they are made to look like the bad guy, not the person who is in possession of an illegal drug.

I wonder what the response of the judge would have been if the police officer had found explosives instead of drugs. Perhaps many innocent people could have been killed without the discovery, but that doesn't matter. It is more important for the criminal to be protected. When are we going to get it right? The answer seems to be never. Read on.

A man has a gambling problem. He has joined a self-exclusion program that allows gamblers to sign a form granting casinos and racetrack staff to use their best efforts to bar or remove them if they are caught inside. Well, it seems as if they didn't catch this man and he blew about $350,000 in a four-year period.

Who's fault is this? Apparently it is the Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation's. This man is suing them for - get this - $3.5 BILLION! I think Dennis, the name of this person, has another problem. It is called lack of taking responsibility for his own actions.

I have not led a perfect life. I have made mistakes. I have dealt with them and tried my best to correct them. The only way I could have grown through these episodes is admitting to them. As long as I am in denial of my part in the process and claiming resposibility for my actions, I am powerless.

I wonder what Dennis will do if he wins his $3.5 billion? Probably go put some money on the horses. And why not? He will have won his jackpot and his luck will be on a roll.

Facebook, again!

2009-04-09T08:06:00.004-04:00

I really wonder about Facebook, and let's not talk about Twitter. I visit my page once a day and most of the things I read could fall into the category of interest on my part as if somebody announced, "I farted." In fact, "I farted" would generate more interest, since the consequences of ignoring this message could prove fatal.

My major concern is that people are spending time in relationships that are not face to face. I feel we are trying to replace quality with quantity. If I can get many quick hits from my squad of "friends", then this will make up for the lack of time I spend with the few very close people in my life.

Yes, I love to hear what is happening to people, but I would far rather have a phone call or a visit once a year or every six months than reading much of the mundane, everyday stuff that I see on Facebook. The way I see it, I don't have to look at the lives of others to realize that life can be pretty ordinary at times. I have a life of my own to do that. Anyway, I would rather spend my time working on turning the ordinary into the extraordinary than reading information that has little impact on my life.

I often wonder if people use Facebook and Twitter so they can appear to be part of the cybercrowd. They will feel that they are being left behind technologically and feel like a dinosaur in today's world, somehow not hip and with it. There seems to be a pressure to be friends with the world.

I will still check in, though, to my Facebook account now and again. However, if somebody wants to go out for coffee or dinner and spend a few hours of quality time discussing face to face, looking into each other's eyes instead of a computer screen, let me know.

Facebook

2009-04-03T23:09:00.002-04:00

"Hi John .... long time since the Haig." That's what the message said. It was somebody asking me on Facebook to be added as a friend. My reply went something like this, "I'm not trying to be unfriendly, but I seem to forget who you are. How do you know me?" She replied that she really didn't know me, but since we both went to the same high school, she thought I might add her as a friend.

Don't you just love Facebook? It can really put you on the spot. Once in awhile, you are put on the spot when somebody asks you to be a friend and you don't know what to do.

As far as I can understand there are only a few reasons why I wouldn't add her as my friend.

First, I don't really consider her to be a friend, thus I feel I am under no obligation to add her. This is exactly how I feel about the request I just had. I have no idea who this woman is, so I have no intention of adding her as my friend. She admits that she really doesn't know me. She could have lied and told me that she used to admire me from afar many years ago, but, no, she was honest (which was appreciated) and confessed that I was only a name in a list of people who attended Earl Haig Secondary School in Willowdale.

Also, I could just forget to add her as a friend. It could completely slip my mind. I don't think I can do it with this former graduate of my high school. I have sent her two or three messages asking for clarification. There will be no doubt in her mind that not accepting her offer of friendship is not due to forgetfulness.

Reason number three is that I have some pretty important people on my list. For example, if the Prime Minister of Canada was on my list, I would be hesitant to have many others on my list of friends. Mind you, I could create an alternate identity for one set of friends and another for people like the Prime Minister, couldn't I? However, if she is a really good friend, can't she be trusted not to bother these people? Anyway, do I really want to go to all the effort of having two identities? I'm having enough trouble leading one life, let alone two.

The next two reasons are painful. Four is that I don't want anyone to know that she is my friend. Ouch! If that is the case, then I am not really a friend. I want to show my friends off to the world, not hide them. Hidden friends are only friends of convenience. In my books, they are being used.

Finally, the only other reason I would reject people is that I wouldn't want them to see my friends. It reminds me of George in Seinfeld when he doesn't want his girlfriend to meet his other friends. He doesn't want his two worlds to collide. Again, if people are my friends, they are my friends. And all of my friends can meet my other friends. It is as simple as that for me.

Even so, I have come close to adding this person as a friend, even though I don't have the foggiest idea who she is. The social pressure Facebook puts on me is pretty great. But I guess I have one other reason to ignore her request. Really, do you think she is interested in reading all sorts of stuff about somebody she really doesn't know? I would prefer that she spends her time developing relationships with those close to her, not somebody she has never met.

In spite of all these pressures, there is one thing I do like about Facebook. It can help you get in touch with people you have somehow lost. I reunited with a great friend of mine, Birnie. In fact, if you ever read The Corsage in my blog, he is the one who set me up on a blind date. He also helped me through a difficult time in my life. And, yes, I asked him to be my friend and he accepted. Of course he did. He was a friend and always will be.

Who's to Blame?

2009-03-25T21:33:00.004-04:00

I was reading in the Toronto Star about a man who is suing Canada's federal government because he believes that it should have screened his wife for the HIV virus when she immigrated from Hong Kong.

The man has been infected and his wife was convicted for aggavated assualt and criminal negligence causing bodily harm in 2007. She is appealing this conviction.

He is going after $33 million in his civil lawsuit.

If he wins the case, this will go down in my books as equal to the money doled out to the person who spilled hot coffee on himself. Here's why.

This guy didn't marry a shy, oriental girl. This Thai woman was a former dancer at the Zanzibar club on Yonge Street in Toronto. In case you don't know, the Zanzibar has been a strip joint for years. Shouldn't that have been a red flag that this man should get his future wife checked out thoroughly before he got married?

If a couple considering matrimony really loves each other, there should be nothing wrong for both of them to consent to a medical examination for all sorts of things with full disclosure of the result to the other.

Maybe I don't have all of the facts, but for this man to blame the government for his mistake is shifting the blame too much. He made a big mistake. He has AIDs, and I am sorry that he is in this position. It's time he realizes that he has to live with his bad decision and quit blaming others. Where did all of his responsibility go in this case? Perhaps his marrying this girl shows that love is blind. It also seems that his anger is showing equal blindness to the role he played in all of this.

San Gimignano

2009-03-24T22:10:00.002-04:00

When we went to Tuscany, we stayed in an apartment in a vineyard. It's called agritourism, which means that you stay on a farm. We woke up in the mornings to find the valley clothed in fog and the sun burning it away like somebody pulling back the covers when he awakes. In each direction we looked there were spectacular views, but not as nice as the town of San Gimgnano in the distance. Below is the view from our front yard.

During the height of the tourist season, I imagine that it is clogged with people. We were there before the onslaught and found it charming.

While I live in a wonderful place, I long to get back to Europe.

Bonuses

2009-03-20T22:13:00.004-04:00

Tell me if I have it wrong. If I don’t understand, please explain to me as well where I have it wrong.

On the television show, Wheel of Fortune, there is a bonus round. In order to get to it, you have to win the regular competition against two other opponents. Every quiz program I have watched in my life is like this.

Then why, oh why, are the executives of companies that are being bailed out by governments still receiving their bonuses? Isn’t a bonus supposed to be a reward for doing something right? They have driven their operations, often irresponsibly, into difficult times. The way I figure, I could have done the same quite nicely at half the salary. I also wouldn’t have expected a bonus.

Isn’t that the way we are today, though? We are so afraid of messing up somebody’s mind psychologically. We pretend somebody is doing well when he isn’t. Our education system certainly reflects this. Nobody has to repeat a grade anymore. The result is some students don’t exert any effort because there are no consequences for failing.

I have fallen on my face many times in life. I have also learned a great deal from each episode. While there may have been some scars along the way, I prefer to look at them as battle wounds – memories of lessons learned. Yes, I would have preferred to have not screwed up from time to time. I can still look at my life with pride and say that each time I have picked myself up and have grown from the experience.

What I would never expect when I make a big mistake is to be rewarded for it. That would be a big joke. It would also make me wonder if I might be even better off making more gaffes with even greater compensation.

I almost feel guilty writing today’s blog. It really isn’t that clever. I’m not really saying very much that many others aren’t thinking. My hope is that those who are receiving these bonuses for failure have some sort of a conscience and won’t accept the money. Somehow I doubt it. That’s sad, but it is a good commentary on life today. We have become such a tolerant society. We even tolerate the rich getting richer while the poor get poorer.

The Warm Morning Sunshine

2009-03-19T09:26:00.006-04:00

I woke up this morning with a tune in my head. I quickly scrambled down to my computer and put the notes on a software to compose music that I recently downloaded. Just to make sure that it stuck in my mind, I quickly jotted down some lyrics to help me remember. Perhaps being so close to St. Patrick's Day, it has an Irish melody. I hope you enjoy it.

In the warm morning sunrise
I look into your eyes
And I see all the glory
That greets the new day
It’s a memory that haunts me
But it never will daunt me
Cause I know that my true love
Will not go away

Though the cold wind may blow
And the rain turns to snow
In my memory will always remain
Of a new day that’s growing
And the hope in the knowing
That your love will erase all my pain

Our mistakes are behind us
Though they may still remind us
That we stumble and fall
Along life’s rocky way
But as long as we get up
We never will let up
We will cherish each moment
As we face each new day

I may add to it later on, so stay tuned.

Another Milestone

2009-03-16T14:58:00.003-04:00

It's great when you set a goal and reach it. Today has been that kind of day. Mind you it has taken two days of not being able to keep much food inside my body to achieve it, but I have still made it.

I stood on the scale today and for the first time since 1979 I have weighed 180 pounds. My goal is to lose 10 more pounds, hopefully without getting sick, and get down to the weight I was when I was twenty-six years old, 170 pounds. And to think I was 228 pounds. That's almost 50 pounds. Can you imagine carrying around an extra 50 pounds of weight every day?

Aside from being healthier and in better physical shape, it has its emotional effects, too. I know that I look better than I have for a long time. It's not that I looked so terrible before - at least, I hope not - it's just that my body is more attractive to look at. And it really isn't that important how others look at me, it's how I look at myself that counts. I feel more positive. It's that simple.

The only disadvantage is that I have many baggy clothes right now. Fortunately, I like a loose fit. However, I need to visit a used clothing depot soon. I can't afford to buy all new stuff right now.

Maybe now is the time to contact one of those makeover shows.

I am sick

2009-03-15T21:39:00.003-04:00

It's the first weekend of March break and I am sick. I didn't plan it that way,but I woke up Saturday morning looking down the toilet, if you know what I mean. I have spent most of the weekend resting and not eating much. I have been trying to purge myself of whatever is in my by any means possible. Again, I leave this up to your imagination.

Usually I am in good health, but once a year it seems I catch something. Considering I am near 200 different people in a week as an occasional teacher, that seems pretty fair. This past week, though, I was teaching music. I had over 100 students every day, so the chances of catching something are increased.

As crummy as I feel, it is still comforting to know that in a few days I will be feeling much better. I'll talk to you then.

Raccoon

2009-03-12T16:17:00.002-04:00

Failing As Me

2009-03-11T22:36:00.001-04:00

As I look back on my life so far, I see a lot of success. I am proud of many things I have attained.

There are also times when I have failed miserably. I have made wrong choices. I could have chosen words better. I have treated people poorly. I have behaved badly.

But I have grown. A few thoughts have helped me get through it all.

First, it has almost always not been my intent to make the mistake. I haven’t gone out purposely to try to blow it.

Second, I don’t think I have done anything that many people haven’t done. I’m not the only one in the world who has hurt somebody with unkind words. Haven’t others made bad decisions or am I all alone here?

Finally, in almost all cases I have acted genuinely. I have been true to myself, even though it may have resulted in my falling flat on my face. Let me explain.

I decided long ago that if I am going to fail, I am going to fail, not some other guy pretending to be me. You see, I can correct mistakes that I make. I can’t correct the mistakes that an imposter in my body makes.

An example is my job as an occasional teacher. When I first started, I tried to be what I thought what a teacher should be. I observed others and tried to imitate them. I failed miserably, but I didn’t know what to do to improve.

One day, I decided to just be me. I flopped just as much, but this time I could go back to the drawing board and try to figure out what I could do to improve, something I couldn’t do for my pretend teacher. Slowly I got better and better. Sure, my style could be described as unorthodox and even quirky, but it works for me and the students seem to enjoy it.

Another advantage of being genuine has been the growth of my ability to forgive. Although it has been a hard process, I have learned to forgive myself for my mistakes. I can’t forgive that other guy I’m not, because I’m not really sure who he is. If I can forgive myself, the real me, it becomes that much easier to forgive others. Why? Why not? Should I treat others any different than I treat myself?

The Sari Shop

2009-03-09T22:34:00.003-04:00

When I was in India, I came upon this sari shop. I was impressed with the vibrant colours. The result is this photo.

Water and Words

2009-03-07T21:41:00.002-05:00

Water is necessary in this world for life. Some living creatures need more than others, but it is the basis of all life as far as I know. No water, no life. It’s as simple as that.

Words are a bit like water. They can be sprinkled generously on a parched soul. They can also be applied too greatly and drown somebody. Like hail, they can destroy another’s ego in seconds. The cold blast of snow in the winter can freeze all life until spring turns again.

Isn’t the drip, drip, drip of a leaky faucet one of the most annoying sounds on earth? As well as the sound it makes, it eventually corrodes the sink. Are your words a welcome delight to the ears of others or do they grate on their nerves?

How many of us have seen how the crashing waves have sculpted the hardest rock over time?

Unless applied in the correct measure and warmed in love, the effect of words, like water, can be devastating and permanent. Unfortunately, like water, they flow so easily and once released, can’t be taken back. How many reputations have been ruined by a poorly-chosen phrase at the wrong moment?

If we are honest, we all can think of circumstances when our words have encouraged somebody’s spirit. Our words have also left a path of destruction.

I like to think of myself as a work in progress. While my tongue still gets me in trouble from time to time, I hope I am getting better. My desire is that my words become a source of nourishment and life to others. I want them to help love grow.

Fortunately, putting my foot in my mouth has allowed me to forgive others when they slip up. Hopefully, they can forgive my shortcomings, too.

The Chinese Man

2009-03-05T22:07:00.002-05:00

I don't know what it is, but I feel that Chinese people enjoy being photographed. I have never tried to take a picture of somebody and have them reject me.

Well, there was one time. I tried to take a photo of a man making noodles that were sort of like spaghetti. Over here pasta is rolled in a special machine. In China, the chefs, like magicians, take the dough and in seconds waive their fingers in the air and make it into strands. It happens so fast. I really can't put the process into words. When I tried to take a photograph of somebody doing this, the man refused to let me do it. I guess he though I was trying to get his secret.

Other than this instance, the Chinese have always been willing to pose. The photo below is an example. I didn't know this man and he didn't speak any English, yet he let me take his photograph. He looks so relaxed and peaceful.

The River

2009-03-04T21:01:00.003-05:00

Living beside a river sometimes yields some spectacular view. I especially like it when the water is like a mirror. The placidness reflects the beauty of the surroundings. Below are two examples of what I mean.

There are times in my life when I felt this same calmness and all of the joy surrounding you is reflected. Maybe it's time I appreciated these moments more. Maybe it's time to create those moments of calmness so I can reflect the beauty around me more.

Frozen in Time

2009-03-02T18:00:00.002-05:00

While I was in Italy, I saw these women creating a window display in an art shop. I like the way that one of them seemed frozen in space leaning against the window. The other reminds me of some of the women in the artwork they are displaying.

Commitment

2009-03-01T22:52:00.001-05:00

I remember the NHL draft when the Quebec Nordiques selected Eric Lindros. While he was picked first overall, he made it very clear that he wasn’t going to play for that team with one gesture. It is traditional that a player is presented with a sweater and he puts it on. Lindros was given one, but he refused to wear it.

It all comes down to commitment. Think of the things you are committed to in your life. Just how strong are you linked to them? Have you put on the sweater figuratively for them? If you haven’t then you are only going through the motions. Your feelings aren’t strong enough to be identified with them.

How close are you to your family, for example? Are you wearing the colours proudly or are you living your own existence independently?

Are you waving the flag for the company you work for or are you merely picking up your pay every two weeks?

No matter what you do, you have the choice of merely going through the motions or putting your heart in it. The difference in it all is commitment.

Venice statue

2009-02-27T18:25:00.004-05:00

While I figure there are quite a few tourists who have a similar photo, I still chuckle when I look at this on. It was taken in St. Mark's Square in Venice.

I'm getting a bit lazy, but I hope you are enjoying my photos.

Storytelling Festival

2009-02-25T07:13:00.002-05:00

This is the photo that has pretty much defined the St. Marys Storytelling Festival. It shows Mark Fletcher leading the kids from Holy Name of Mary School down to the flats like a Pied Piper.

I actually saw the photo in my head the day before. Everyone was coming down a hill, so I was able to get a nice camera angle. I persuaded the principal to allow the students to fan out and take up the whole street instead of walking safely on the sidewalk. Then I snapped away. I actually took two shots. This one turned out the best.

It appeared on the front page of one of the sections of the London Free Press's Saturday edition in 2004. Since then, it has been used on numerous posters and publicity opportunities.

What I like about it is the "you had to be there at the right moment" aspect. I love photos that can't be repeated. They capture a moment in time. It also tells a story.

A Winter's Morn

2009-02-24T15:51:00.001-05:00

I don't know why I like this, but I do.

The Photo Shoot

2009-02-22T08:31:00.002-05:00

I love photos that tell a story. I was at a wedding and quickly shot this one. On the left is the professional. On the right is the very young amateur. Each of them is trying to capture the moment of the joyous occasion.

Amber

2009-02-21T20:35:00.002-05:00

In 1999, I had the good fortune to have a contract teaching computer courses at the Canadian Embassy in Warsaw, Poland.

While I was there I would pass the time on weekends browsing through the shops, often looking for mementos. When I travel I like to bring back unique items that remind me of each place. Venturing into a jewellery shop, I learned a valuable lesson about amber.

Amber is fossil tree resin. While it can be many colours, it is usually sort of a yellowish orange-brown. I found out that it could be rather expensive, too.

While I was looking at several necklaces, I noticed that there was a bug that had been stuck in one of them. The price was higher than one with clear amber. I asked the saleslady if a mistake had been made. Why should I pay for something with this imperfection? She laughed and quickly told me that it was this insect that had been trapped in the gooey resin that made it all the more valuable. She showed me more pieces containing other species. Each one told a story. The more creatures contained in the amber, the more valuable it was.

Sometimes I feel that my life is like amber. There are many things that have been “stuck” into my story through the years. Others may view them as imperfections. In fact, my amber has lots of things trapped inside. It shows a life well lived. Each speck reminds me of a lesson learned. My character has been built from the sum of all of them. I then realize just how valuable I am.

Happy Family Day

2009-02-18T09:04:00.002-05:00

On Monday, Ontario celebrated its second Family Day. The idea was to create a February holiday for the clan to get together and spend quality time. It sounds like a great idea, but is it?

Before I sound too negative, let me applaud the idea. I think it is great that families get together and do stuff. We need more of that. It’s just that I think that the current Family Day needs a bit of tweaking.

I asked members of my ESL class yesterday what they did on Family Day. Most of them spent the day quietly at home. They worked on chores or watched television. None went out and did anything. The same happened in our household. Why?

I live in a small town. When everything is shut down, there isn’t much to do. I went to the YMCA in the morning. Its hours had been reduced so it closed at two in the afternoon. Other than that, only the swimming pool was open. I can’t swim.

If you live in Toronto or Ottawa, there are so many activities that are available to you. You can even go shopping because the Eaton Centre, a vast shopping mall, is considered a tourist attraction. I can’t imagine going to the Ontario Science Centre on Family Day. Wading through the noisy crowds is not my idea of quality time.

I guess I could have gone for a walk, but it wasn’t a very nice day. I prefer to take my strolls in warmer weather.

My guess is that many families did very little together. The kids sat in their rooms watching television or on the computer and the parents did their own thing.

Here are my suggestions to make Family Day a bit more practical.

Make it optional for storeowners. In today’s economic climate, why take away a potential day to make money from people who are trying to make an honest buck? Shopping could then be an option. I would have loved to have gone to a local bookstore and browsed. Another option would have been sauntering through hardware stores looking for that perfect gadget.

Move the day to a friendlier month. February in Ontario is no treat. I know that the timing was chosen to provide a break in the harsh winter, but forcing people to lose a day’s pay, which was my case, in a bleak month adds to the woes.

The people I talked to who liked the idea had kids who participated in winter sports. Family Day is the perfect weekend to hold a hockey tournament or skating competition. Wouldn’t it be great, though, if I traveled with my kids to another city or town that we could go strolling through the vibrant downtown between games instead of being holed up in a motel room?

I feel that in theory Family Day is great. Let’s just adjust it a bit so it gives people many more options of what they can do, especially if you live outside the main cities.

The Heron

2009-02-16T09:14:00.006-05:00

OK, so maybe I'm getting a bit lazy. I'm approaching 500 articles that I've cranked out in the last year and a half or so. Some are pretty good; some are horrible. That's the way life goes. You have days of inspiration. Others are pretty mundane. Some are discouraging. Some of you have followed my chronicles faithfully. A few just dip your toe in the water as you pass throught the Internet. I have appreciated any comments that have been made. I have not had to censor anyone - I certainly will not allow anyone to show disrespect or be crass. Not everyone has agreed with what I have said, which is fine.

This all leads me to the fact that I am going to upload some of my photographs from time to time.

I remember a professor of mine at the University of Alberta, Dr. Oh. He asked the question, "What is the difference between a professional photographer and an amateur?" His answer was "A business card." Some people have a good eye for composition, but everyone is capable of taking a shot or two that is interesting.

I will share with you some that I have taken that I think are pretty good.

What I like about this one is that all of the conditions had to be just right to take it. The sun, the sky, the bird and I all had to be perfect to make this happen. It was taken at sunrise. The sky was cloudless. The bird blends into the tree. It almost looks like a black and white photo.

It’s Gone

2009-02-15T09:33:00.002-05:00

Ok, it’s over. Another Valentine’s Day has come and gone. Many of you have bought some chocolates or flowers. Maybe you even took your honey somewhere to eat. There are many ways to express your love. And that’s my point.

Now that the big day is over, have fun expressing your love in other ways. Use your imagination. Give the whole you, not the you invented by Hallmark.

Love is an action verb, which means that it means doing something. Saying it is important, but if the words “I love you” are merely said with no visible sign other than the words, your love is about effective as an echo.

Let’s look at the phrase “I love you.”

First, there’s the “I” part. This means that if I truly love somebody, I give me. To me, that means the very essence of who I am. It is not smothering somebody like a tidal wave with gifts money can buy, but offering the deepest part of me.

Next, there’s the love part. As I said, make it an action verb. Do stuff.

Finally, there’s “you”. If you are like me, that means that you are not perfect, but it is great to feel you are loved in spite of all your flaws. My feeling is that for a love to be grand, the you has to be the very essence of who you are. If you truly love somebody back, you offer yourself. It’s easy to love the best part of me. I know I am truly loved if somebody loves all of me.

This love stuff sounds difficult! I think so. That’s why I like Valentine’s Day. It gives a time to reflect on love and to just give it. Maybe it starts with a box of chocolates and a store-bought card, but it can grow from there.

I hope you have many more Valentine’s Days this year.

Because It’s There

2009-02-11T07:54:00.001-05:00

Sir Edmund Hillary, the man who first climbed Everest, was once asked why he did it. The answer was “because it’s there.” It is a line that many motivational speakers have used to inspire their followers. Set a goal. Keep your eye on it. Work your way towards it. Achieve it.

In today’s world this may not be as easy as it seems. What do I mean?

We live in a world that is changing rapidly. Students are being taught skills that might not be necessary in the future for jobs that might not exist.

For example, I worked in television until the mid-eighties. I figure if I went back to that profession I would have to be retrained. Certainly the theory of television production would still be there, but the technical side is totally different. When I started in 1972, we were using two-inch videotape. When I left in 1987, three-quarter inch cassettes were the norm. Now everything is digital.

How do you predict where you are going when where you are going might not be there when you arrive? What do you do if your target keeps moving?

Rather than planting your roots in the soil, perhaps it will be the person who reacts to change the best, like a surfboarder, who will drink the victor’s champagne. People used to work for one company for most of their lives. Now this is the exception rather than the rule.

Like the microsecond images in a music video that keep raining down to be processed by our brains, much of our time will be spent sifting through the input. We will then have to quickly act upon it before the next onslaught of information.

All of this leads to stress. Hopefully the technology we are creating will help us deal with this rapid change.

The person standing on top of the mountain will be the one who can manage change and the mountains of information the best and take advantage of it.

Babe

2009-02-10T20:44:00.002-05:00

I have been working with Ray and William to try to get the 1949 Tip Top Tailors team in Softball Canada’s Hall of Fame. It won the 1949 World Championship. We’ll see what happens.

In order to get the submission together, I have had to contact two of the four remaining players on the team, Ray and William. I've used the name William, but everybody calls him Babe, including me.

Over the months I have developed a special relationship with both of these men. While they could have rested on their laurels, they haven’t. They have given back to the sport much more than they have taken out of it.

Babe has shown me the amount of love he has in so many ways. The greatest example I see is the love for his wife.

About fifteen years ago, she had a stroke and has been unable to speak. Faithfully he goes to visit her almost every day. He remains dedicated to her when many more would have given up. He finds a way to fit other activities around seeing her. This is a priority. There is no sign of regret or bitterness in his voice. I’m sure he would love to have his wife’s health restored, but he simply goes on playing with the cards he is dealt.

It’s easy to show love when everything is going great and you are on top of the world. Babe has taught me that true love is something that reaches out and touches somebody when it involves sacrifice.

“The greatest love you can show is to give your life for your friends.” Babe personifies this verse.

Barry Hearn

2009-02-08T22:11:00.002-05:00

Barry died on Tuesday. Throat cancer took him down.

He owned the ice cream place in town. On a warm summer evening, many in town would congregate there, enjoying the treats and catching up on the news.

I got to know him through the hockey club in town, the St. Marys Lincolns. Barry was on the committee to celebrate the fiftieth anniversary. So was I.

What I remember about him was the stories he told about the people who had come through his life. You could tell that he loved people. He rarely had anything negative to say about anyone.

Apparently the teens who worked at his ice cream shop were treated with great dignity, too. Barry was always interested in their lives.

As much as he might have loved people, you could tell that he touched many lives. I was told that the line at the afternoon visitation extended out the door of the funeral parlour. I went on the Friday night and I was in line for about half an hour. What a testament to his life! I can only hope that my life will be as significant to those around me.

Where Are The Protesters?

2009-02-07T10:07:00.000-05:00

There is supposed to be a ceasefire between Palestine and Israel. Jews have stopped bombing targets in Gaza. Yet, Hamas continues to send missiles into Israel.

What’s happening here?

If Israel was wrong in invading the Gaza Strip after months and years of being attacked by this terrorist group, isn’t Hamas equally as wrong for refusing to respect the ceasefire? Is it more justifiable killing Jews than Palestinians? I think not!

But where are the protesters? Where are the people on the street urging Hamas to stop? Why aren’t they there?

The way I see it, you either believe in peace or you don’t. Working differences out solves problems, which means getting together and discussing the issues instead of bombing innocent people.

Meanwhile, many stay silent. Silence is the worst way to solve any issue. Disagreements are a part of life. Running away from them means failing to deal with them. They don’t go away, but remain often to resurface in other ways. If Hamas and Israel can’t sit down and talk, then it demonstrates a total lack of love and respect for each other. As Barack Obama said, we may agree to disagree, but at least we are talking.

Yet, silence is the way the world often responds. We were silent when Jews were marched to the gas chambers in the Second World War. We were silent during the killing fields of Cambodia. We are silent today about the atrocities that are going on in many parts of Africa.

Meanwhile Jews in Venezuela and other parts of the world, people who are trying to lead peaceful existences, are being attacked for Israel’s position on Palestine. Funny that after 9-11 people were rightfully warned not to paint all Moslem’s with the same brush. Is this comment not equally valid for all? It appears that it isn’t.

I wonder if we show our concern and love when it is convenient, when it is easy and not pushing up against resistance. A few weeks ago, it didn’t seem much of a problem for people to march against Israel’s attack on Gaza. I guess the Canadian winter is too cold now for people who abhor violence to do something about what is happening all around the world now. We would rather give lip service about how we abhor violence, love peace and love people without doing anything about it.

If we say we love the people in Africa, for example, and they feel no effect of that love, aren’t we just kidding ourselves? I feel that indifference can be worse than hatred. Love is an action word, and it means speaking out and sharing honestly how we feel, even to those who oppress us.

That’s why I still dream of having Johnny V’s Rock and Roll Weekend For Peace on the Internet. The idea came from an idea of mine that started with this question: What if you had a party, invited the whole world and everyone came?

I want to have an Internet party, spread the word that is happening and invite everyone to tune in. People will show their webcams. Palestinians will be dancing on the same screen as Jews. Hindus, Moslems, Christians and atheists will share a common cause. Everyone regardless of their beliefs will come together for peace.

If anybody can put me in touch with somebody to help make this happen, let me know.

I Believed

2009-02-02T22:36:00.002-05:00

I woke up the other morning and the first thought on my mind was Shania Twain. It was like her face was right in front of me and suddenly the first few lines of the following poem flew into my head. I immediately ran down to my computer and wrote them down. It was before five in the morning. Do you like these lyrics? I hope so, but even more, if you can get them to Shania, I hope she likes them even more.

I Believed
I believed (I believed) that you were a man that I could trust.
You’re with her (you’re with her) and all of our dreams have turned to dust.
What went wrong? Why did you have to treat me badly this way?
What went wrong? Now I’m searching my heart for the perfect words to say
That I love you still in spite of what you’ve done
That I hope you will work on the love that we’ve begun
So many hours I sit and think of you
But I need your help – tell me what I have to do
To make it all go away.

I believed and I can believe once more
Because believing means that you are really sure
That there’s hope for tomorrow, let’s forget about today
Come join me now and we will find a way
To make it happen

I am human. (Oh, so human) Yes, there are times when I made mistakes
I’m not perfect (not perfect at all), see I bleed and you know that my heart aches
I don’t stand a chance, though, as long as she’s with you
Don’t stand a chance when your feelings for her are new
Give it time and will she become more like me
You’ll see flaws and maybe you will begin to see
That may be we can save what we had
You got to want it. You got to want it really bad
We can make it right again.

I believed and I can believe once more
Because believing means that you are really sure
That there’s hope for tomorrow, let’s forget about today
Come join me now and we will find a way
To make it happen

Super Bowl Sunday

2009-02-02T07:12:00.001-05:00

I’ve got to get a life! Every year Super Bowl Sunday comes around and I usually watch the game alone.

Marie tries hard to make me feel like I’m watching in a room with a bunch of jocks, but when she can’t name one player on either team, it’s not the same.

Not only that, when I asked her what she was thinking of for dinner, you could tell that she wasn’t thinking like a guy. She was planning a stir-fry, something healthy. Now every self-respecting man knows that a Super Bowl meal has to have things like pizza, onion rings and wings. Any that is thrown on a grill is permissible, too. Bean sprouts, tofu and vegetables are definitely not on the menu.

Fortunately, I got her interested in a romantic movie and she didn’t feel like making supper, so I told her to rest and I would make it. You guessed it, pizza!

We had to go out this evening, so I knew I wasn’t going to watch the whole game. We had a half an hour to spend. Marie decided she would join me to keep me company. Great, I thought, at least I didn’t have to watch the game alone. She promptly came in and fell asleep in the chair.

I’m not angry with Marie at all. Not everyone likes football. In fact, for most of the season, I don’t like it, but this is the Super Bowl.

We got back early enough for me to catch the final five minutes or so. Fortunately, a lot of the excitement happened in those fleeting moments. It certainly was an exciting game.

Tomorrow she will probably ask me who won, but the way she figures it, there are many more important things in the world than the outcome of a football game. Come to think of it, she’s right. But for one night my hope is next year I will be surrounded by a bunch of the guys and forgetting about all of the things that are more important.

St. Marys

2009-01-30T22:26:00.004-05:00

Ah, move to a small town and get away from the rat race, they say. I think they have it all wrong, whoever they are.

The way I see it, you are a rat in a maze either way. The only difference is that in a city you have a much bigger maze than in a small town. A metropolis gives you the anonymity to lead a sane life. What do I mean? Here are some examples.

In life, there are people you encounter that you don’t like. In a small town, you keep bumping into them over and over. Like a jack-in-the-box, they appear at the post office, in the grocery store and in restaurants. You just can’t avoid them.

Everybody knows all about you, too. For example, my sister and her husband decided to move to St. Marys. I went to the bank and one of the tellers knew all about it. What is unusual is that I barely knew the woman and she really didn’t know my sister very well.

When I lived in Ottawa, there was a vast selection of people to choose from for friends. Here there aren’t so many. Also, many already have a full slate of buddies they have had for years. It is difficult for you to break the barrier and get inside somebody’s circle.

The hardest part is having to make choices about the folk providing you with services.

I go to Mike’s Barber Shop. He is a regular, old-fashioned barber. None of this hair styling for me. However, even if I wanted to change, I couldn’t. I would be terrified of meeting Mike downtown sometimes and having to explain my absence. In the big city, you can disappear into the woodwork like a termite.

Every time I walk by Stacy’s Pizza, I wonder if Jen Stacy is wondering why I never buy from her.

I have had personal and association accounts in almost every bank in town. I don’t want to show favouritism, do I?

We eat at both Chinese food restaurants and both pubs for the same reason. We have been to almost every auto repair shop. Since we now have a Chrysler and a GM product, we can settle on one dealer and everyone will understand. We aren’t making a choice. The cars are.

Down the line it goes, shop by shop, business by business. Trying to show support for everyone and making sure your allegiances are spread around. It seems that there are at least two of every type of store. You have to make a choice and everyone seems to know your decision.

I have one big problem though and that is the last decision I will have to make on this earth. You see, we have two funeral parlours. When I die, I will have to use the services of Ball’s or Hodges’. Both owners are fine men. Both assist greatly in the community. I just don’t want to go through eternity having one of them disappointed in my decision and the whole town knowing which one I chose. Now guilt like this would never happen in a city.

Either I have to move back to the city or to a smaller town where there is only one of everything.

The Impossible Dream

2009-01-29T18:45:00.001-05:00

I like writing poems from time to time. Once in awhile I read something that I wish I had written. Today is a good example. I hope you enjoy it.

The Impossible Dream
from MAN OF LA MANCHA (1972)
music by Mitch Leigh and lyrics by Joe Darion

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far

To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a heavenly cause

And I know if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star

A Little Bit

2009-01-28T18:40:00.000-05:00

A little bit of everything equals a lot of something.

We were talking about dieting and the problem with buffets. Some have so many selections. You want to try everything, so you have a little bit of everything and soon you find that you have a lot of something. You overeat.

I don’t know if anybody has said this before, but when I blurted this out, everybody felt that something profound had been said.

In today’s world people often want instant success. In most cases this doesn’t happen. You have to do the little things right and keep adding.

While I am not an accomplished guitar player, I have been working at it. I didn’t start until I was thirty-eight years old. There was a long period when I didn’t play it at all. Since I have been supply teaching, I have been practising whenever I can, sneaking in sessions at recess, lunch and during prep periods. Slowly, but surely, I have been getting better. Chords that used to be a mystery are suddenly within my abilities. I have a lot of improvement still to do, but I enjoy discovering new music I can master.

So don’t be discouraged. Keep at it, even if you are doing just a little bit. Put all of those little bits together and you could have something very special.

Mr. Winters

2009-01-27T22:11:00.001-05:00

When I was growing up, Jim Winters was the pitcher on our softball team. Almost every day in the summer, he practiced for about an hour to become better. After Christmas and until the snow went away, he would try to find someplace indoors to work on his technique once a week.

I was the right fielder on the team, but the catcher didn’t want to help Jim in his routine. I was asked and decided to help.

I remember the first time we went over to the backstop at Edithvale School, three blocks from where I lived. For an hour I squatted then stood up. Up and down and up and down I went. By the time I went home, I could barely walk. I was so sore I crawled halfway.

Often we would go to Jim’s house after practice. It was there that I came under the influence of Jim’s father, James K. Winters.

Mr. Winters was a successful lawyer. He eventually became a Queen’s Counsel, a title of honour that was discontinued in Ontario in 1985. This is all stuff I didn’t care about or learned later on in life. To me he was simply Jim’s dad and the closest thing I could observe of what a dad could be.

What I like most about him was the way he analysed situations, especially our softball team. We would be going into a series against a tough opponent and he would weigh all of the evidence and come to the conclusion that we deserved to win more than the other team. It wasn’t just that we were going to win, but it justice was to be done and the sun would rise in the east tomorrow, we had to win. It was as simple as this.

His confidence, encouragement and assurance helped a kid like me who had to work at my self-image. I grew up figuring that I wasn’t worthy of what I desired. I had to be satisfied with what I got. Although I sometimes still fall into this trap, I have gotten into the habit of telling myself that I do deserve the best. But it is more than a habit now. I know it is true. While I know that I am not perfect, I realize that I have been blessed with many talents. Even better, I have the opportunity to share them with others. I’m pretty special!

Letting Go

2009-01-25T19:03:00.003-05:00

I’m not sure if I learned a valuable lesson this week. I guess you could say that I learned it in theory, but I’m not sure if I passed the practical work.

Sometimes in life I just do things because I feel they should be done. Recently I decided to send in an application form to Softball Ontario to have the 1949 Tip Top Tailors softball team inducted into the Softball Canada Hall of Fame.

I was given some contact names, told where to get the nomination forms and instructed to put a package together.

Putting together a portfolio consisting of events that happened almost sixty years ago isn’t easy. I made one trip to Toronto to visit Ray, one of the four remaining players. I also called Babe, who is also in his eighties.

Ray gave me some photos of the team. Babe sent some more photos and some newspaper clippings. The rest of the information came from the archives of the Toronto Star.

When everything was complete, I mailed it to my contact in St. Thomas who was going to present it to Softball Ontario. He received it and had a couple of questions.

Then the lesson started.

I started to fret. Negative thoughts filled my head. I kept going over various scenarios of “what if” and became anxious. One night I woke up at 3 am and sent an email with more information to my contact in St. Thomas.

Then I thought, “This is ridiculous!” And it was. I had done everything I could. My submission was very thorough. It wasn’t in my hands anymore, yet I refused to let go. I was imagining all sorts of problems before any decision was made.

On Saturday night I received an email from the St. Thomas contact. In it he stated that there were seven submissions to recommend to Softball Canada for the Hall of Fame and the one I put in was ranked the number one priority.

I was pleased, of course, but I was also embarrassed. I thought of all the energy I had wasted on something I couldn’t control. I had put myself through a lot of beating up for no reason at all. I had assumed something without giving others the chance to react to my nomination.

Sometimes the more we want something, the more we reach out and try to influence it. While I would have felt an injustice would have been done if this team had been rejected, I have to accept the fact that it is not my decision.

You would think I would learn this, wouldn’t you? It is a hard lesson. As I said, I passed the theory. I understand that what I say is true. It’s the practicum that is the difficult part – actually allowing things to happen that are beyond your control. I should realize that I have better things to spend my energy on than things I can’t change.

As the saying goes, “Lord, allow me to change the things I cannot accept, and to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.” It’s the third part of the equation for which I need a large dose.

The Interview

2009-01-23T22:28:00.002-05:00

I recently had an interview for a job. I really want it. If I get it, I believe it will utilize all of the talents I have. I can only wait patiently for now.

I said something talking on the phone that I thought was rather profound and I will share it with you.

You can give up on what is on your mind. You can't give up on what is in your heart.

That is where I am right now. I have matters on my heart that just don't go away. I have a sense of destiny in my life and I believe things happen for a reason.

For example, I want to make a film or a documentary. The dream doesn't go away. If I get this job, it might mean that the opportunity to do this might present itself. However, if I am not chosen for this position, it doesn't mean this matter will disappear.

At times I review these things pressing on my heart. They seem crazy, impossible and illogical, yet they don't go away. They teach me patience. I wait. I have learned in life that everything doesn't depend on me.

For example, I may feel totally qualified for this position. I may be the best candidate by far. Feeling this way is important, but regardless of how I feel, the decision isn't mine to make. I have to accept the fact that others will make the decision. Hopefully I have said all of the right things. Somehow a still, small voice will tell them the name of the person they seek. I really hope it is mine.

Blowin’ in the Wind

2009-01-22T21:58:00.002-05:00

Ask people if they believe if we should lessen our oil consumption to reduce the effect of global warming and you usually will get no disagreement.

Two methods often prescribed for generating this power is with solar panels and windmills.

When you suggest putting windmills in somebody’s neighbourhood, that is when something hits the fan figuratively. Out come all the arguments why wind power is great, but not for that area.

Windmills are ugly. They are bad for the birds. They make too much noise. There is more wind in other areas. On and on it goes.

It seems people preach ecology when it is in someone else’s backyard. Threaten their quality of life and they are willing to claw away tooth and nail.

I am hoping that the price of windmills will be reduced along with the size, so I can get a pocket version that will supply the needs for my home

An idea that I have had for generating power is to sell home exercise equipment that provides electricity to charge batteries. This way you can put the energy you expend to good use. It would be a great way to get teens fit. Do they want to run the computer or watch television? Then “on yer bike” and provide the power to do it.

This would be a great incentive to get fit and save money at the same time. It will be particularly useful when we start buying more cars that run on electricity.

The way I see it, if people on bicycles could supply a rock concert’s power on Earth Day, we can do the same for all of our needs. The concept is having a larger version of those cranks on flashlights that don’t use removable batteries.

So it seems as if the answer is not blowing in the wind for some.

Obama’s Prayer Partners

2009-01-18T22:52:00.000-05:00

Much ado is being given to the four ministers Barack Obama has chosen for his inauguration.

Most of the attention is being given to Rick Warren, an evangelical who is opposed to gay marriage and abortion. This has upset gay rights activists.

Also playing a prominent role is Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson, the first openly gay bishop in the Anglican Communion. Many evangelical Christians are not happy with this.

Add to the mix, Reverend Sharon Watkins and Reverend Joseph Lowery. I’m sure somebody’s not happy with them.

Of course the atheists are not happy with any of them. They will start chanting their mantra of not mixing church and state, even though the right for religious freedom is in the constitution.

Robinson has gone so far as stating that the selection of Warren is “a slap in the face.” Well, Gene, you know what the Bible says about turning the other cheek.

First, this is Obama’s inauguration. He is the president. Let him plan his own party.

Second, he is trying to unify the country by being inclusive. I’m sure all four ministers have differing views on several topics. Guess what? You are probably not going to change any of their viewpoints. The message I think that is being given is all will be welcomed by this administration, much the way religious freedom is guaranteed in the constitution of the United States.

Finally, get over it. If you don’t like Obama’s choices, then get elected yourself and see if you can do any better at keeping everyone happy. America has quite a few more problems right now than the choice of ministers at an inauguration.

Responsible Drinking

2009-01-15T23:03:00.003-05:00

Four young people were drinking in a club in Port Carling on July 3, 2008. A few hours later, three of them were killed in an auto accident.

This January, thirty-four charges were laid against the club, its employees and club directors. The club apparently permitted drunkenness on its premises and supplied liquor to intoxicated persons.

While I regret that three people died, I have some questions.

Is it always easy to tell if somebody is drunk? Sure, if somebody is plastered, it is obvious. But visually, especially if a bar is dark, how easy is it to tell? Sometimes you don’t notice until the person is drunk and by that time it is too late.

It didn’t say if the four were drinking beer. If they were, did they order it by the bottle or the pitcher? If they drank pitchers, it is difficult to monitor who is drinking what.

Were all four intoxicated? If not, how would the bartender know which one would be driving? It is not uncommon in Canada for a group to go out drinking with one being the designated driver. When this is the case, do most clubs allow the remaining people to get a bit tipsy, knowing that the sober driver will get them home safely?

How many functions have people getting drunk? Think of the weddings you have attended. How about news conferences or the office Christmas party? Teenagers like to brag about getting pie-eyed at their graduation party. If we tolerate these kinds of activities, how is this any different?

Here are my main questions. Who is ultimately responsible for drinking too much? Do not the four young people bear the majority of the responsibility in this situation? Were they not intelligent enough to know that drinking too much alcohol could cause an automobile accident and death? Why did they drink too much? Were they not mature enough to realize that the driver had had a bit too much or should have stopped drinking before he was inebriated? One person made the decision to get behind the wheel and drive. Three others decided to let that person drive. How can these four make a poor value judgment and not be held responsible while employees, who are also serving other customers, are?

The police say that alcohol and speeding were both responsible for the death. How do we know how much speeding was responsible? Perhaps the driver would have driven too fast regardless of the alcohol.

The sad part is that the lives of the four people in the car were changed forever. Three died and the fourth has to live with the memory of the accident because of a bad decision they made. Unfortunately, sixteen others, some who were not even there when the drinking took place, now have to bear the brunt of four young people not drinking responsibly.

Yes, people working in bars need to be prudent when serving alcohol, but ultimately it is the people drinking it who have to be responsible for what happens. If you aren’t disciplined or adult enough to control your drinking, then you shouldn’t be drinking at all. I say this not only for the safety of the person drinking, but on the potential damage he might inflict on innocent others when he smashes into another car.

The Meeting House

2009-01-13T21:53:00.004-05:00

Bruxy Cavey wrote a book called The End of Religion. He is also the teaching pastor of The Meeting House, a church that states it is for “people who aren’t into church”.

The Meeting House is in an old cinema in Oakville, but it is a church with a difference.

Using modern technology, the service is simulcast to home churches dotted all over Ontario.

Watch a podcast and the first sign that something is different is the start. Gone are the traditional hymn to start a service. It reminds you of the CBC’s The Hour. Usually some pretty raunchy music is played under some quotes from various people, some who may not even be Christian, that relate to the topic of the day. This goes on for three or four minutes.

Finally you get to meet Bruxy Cavey. He is definitely not like your ordinary televangelist. Well, in one way he is like some of them. He is hefty. You definitely wouldn’t call him slick, though. The first word that jumps into my mind is scruffy, but am I being too judgmental? I wonder if Bruxy really dresses like that all the time, giving the appearance that he doesn’t really care how he looks, or is he trying to look like a revolutionary so he can appeal to those who aren’t into church? Does he ever get dressed up in what we used to call our Sunday clothes for a special occasion? Regardless of the motive, it is working. The Meeting House is growing by leaps and bounds.

Whether you agree with him or not, Cavey is a gifted speaker. His messages are well researched and easy to follow.

At the end of the message, some time is spent answering questions from the audience and those sent in by text messaging.

But don’t just read what I am saying, check it out for yourself. I am being too brief here because I have to get up early tomorrow. Go the website for The Meeting House. While you are there, you might want to download one of the podcasts. You really won't get the idea of what the experience is all about until you do that.

Rioting

2009-01-11T19:19:00.001-05:00

The more I learn about the human race, the more I don’t understand why it is so stupid.

From time to time the people we ask to uphold the laws, the police, make a mistake costing the life of an innocent victim.

I’m not saying that they should not be accountable, but what would you do if somebody quickly turned around and drew something that you had to make a decision in a split second of what to do? How would you respond if the wrong decision would cost you your life? Might you lean towards action that would favour saving your life?

There have been occasions where the officers have gone too far, and they should bear the consequences.

What I don’t understand is when a mortal mistake is made why mobs start rioting. I have no problems with people protesting, but burning the cars of more innocent people and looting stores seems to indicate to me that the bad guys are just looking for an excuse to let loose.

If Gandhi could free India from British rule peacefully, then it is possible to make your point without violence. If Martin Luther King worked on racial freedom without resorting to anarchy, then why is it impossible for others?

It’s funny, but when I see a mob wrecking a shopkeepers store and burning somebody’s car, my thoughts don’t turn to the person who was killed. I think of those poor people who have to suffer the brunt of angry people who don’t know how to protest constructively.

Yes, I am saddened when somebody is killed unjustly. I am saddened even more when people feel that the way to honour this victim is to riot in the streets.

Messages from Heaven

2009-01-09T22:35:00.001-05:00

Sid Currie started it. He was an assistant pastor at a church we attended in Ottawa. He talked in a sermon of reminders he felt he received from God that he was loved and that something special was going to happen. The sign was seeing a yellow Volkswagen Beetle.

You may have something you do as a harbinger of good things. For Marie, it is seeing a hawk. This is pretty good for her. Since we moved down to St. Marys, there are a lot of them prowling the farmers’ fields.

Seeing yellow Volkswagens are reasonably difficult. I think hawks are rather easy.

What I look for is much, much more unlikely. I look for my initials on licence plates. If I see a J, V and an S on a plate and I go, “Hmmmm!” If they are in the order JVS, which stands for John Victor Stevens, then I figure I am being blessed greatly.

It may sound a bit wacky, looking for signs from God, but when it happens, it certainly brightens my day. It’s got to be better than superstitions. At least I am not walking around doing things that I feel I must do to be lucky. These things just happen on the spur of a moment.

Looking for my initials can certainly pass time on a long trip. It makes me pay close attention to the cars around me, too.

So next time you see a licence plate with JVS on it, think of me. By the way, I don’t have a personalized plate with JVS on it.

Selling False Hopes

2009-01-08T22:12:00.004-05:00

I subscribe to something called Insight of the Day. I usually love the positive message I get first thing in the morning. An inspiring message starts the day off right. Today was an exception.

It starts with "Mick Jagger sang, ‘You CAN'T always get what you want!’ He was wrong!" Clicking on a hyperlink takes you to the comments written by the author, someone who has written a “best-selling” book.

The article encourages you to invest in spending some time and money at a “week-long mastermind and brainstorming session with a small group of people” led by another guru.

In the end, you are told to forget what the Rolling Stones sing and that you CAN always get what you want.

What a crock! Life isn’t like that at all. What upsets me is that this guy is selling a lot of false hope to people.

I know lots of kids who want to be NHL hockey players. Many men would want a date with Pamela Anderson or Jennifer Anniston. How about Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp for the women? What I want is to play professional baseball and win the World Series.

Guess what? A lot of us are not going to get what we want. Just visioning something doesn’t mean that you will get it. Sometimes the decision doesn’t totally depend on us.

Life is full of people who are promising you the world in order to line their pockets with money. Do you think if they told you the truth – that if you keep trying eventually some dreams will come true – many people would attend their seminars?

It’s like the evangelist who preaches that God wants to make you wealthy. People often flock to these churches with the promise of prosperity. If God wants to make all believers wealthy, why are there so many poor Christians in Third World Countries? The only ones I see getting really wealthy are the evangelists. Often they prey upon the gullible so they can get rich.

I’m not suggesting that you give up on your dreams. You should never do that. What I am saying is that you shouldn’t be fooled by people giving you false hope that you can do anything, and when I say anything, I mean anything. An egg can’t fly until it grows into a bird.

While you are at it, listen to what the Rolling Stones say in their song. While a lot of the lyrics are a bit of a mystery to me, read these lines.
You can't always get what you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you need

And if you try, sometime you find you get what you need. Now that makes a lot of sense. Maybe that’s why Mick is now Sir Mick.

Erma Bombeck

2009-01-07T12:03:00.004-05:00

Sometimes people say it better than I can.

Here is an example from Erma Bombeck.

Erma Bombeck's words.

Some quotes from Erma Bombeck (Sorry if the ad to the left is for Meeting Married Women).

It was interesting, when doing research on this entry, the discrepancies I found from site to site. For example, the quote at the end of the first hyperlink appears not to have been a part of the message "If I Had My Life To Live Over". It is something she said or wrote on another occasion. Also, many tribute pages said that she died of cancer, which is not true. She died from complications from an unsuccessful kidney transplant. This goes to show that just because it is on the Internet doesn't mean that it is true (including my stuff).

Finally, a Johnny V. thought. I often say that life is like a sponge. You spend a lot of time soaking things up, but when I die I would like to say that I was able to squeeze every last drop out of that sponge.

The Eagles

2009-01-06T21:45:00.004-05:00

Are you a fan of The Eagles? I would certainly enjoy going to one of their concerts, but I will never buy a ticket from Ticketmaster again.

You can try this on your own. Here is what I did.
1. I picked a city where The Eagles will be putting on a concert. I chose Saskatoon.
2. I tried to purchase one ticket at any price in the best possible seat in the best possible location. In other words, find me any seat.

The result was that there were no seats left.

Had I been successful, I would have been paying $199.50, $159.50 or $99.50 for my ticket.

So I hopped over on the Internet to a company called TicketsNow. Guess what? It had tickets for this concert. However, if you want to go, get out your wallet. The cheapest ticket is $241 and the most expensive $588.

When the tickets go online, TicketsNow seems to be able to scoop up a good number of tickets, even though there is usually a maximum number you can buy at one time.

If I buy a ticket from a guy on the street for more than it’s value, it’s called scalping, which is illegal in Ontario, although it is rarely enforced. If I buy a ticket from TicketsNow, it is not considered scalping, even though I will probably be paying more than double the ticket value.

But here is the kicker. TicketsNow is a Ticketmaster company. Don’t believe me? Go to the TicketsNow website. It is there for all to see. Ticketmaster is allowing its own company to buy tickets so it can rip you off. One of the excuses it uses is that it wants to make sure that the true fan has access to attending a concert. Right! Those Ticketmaster people are really nice, always thinking of loyal Eagles fans.

This activity should be filed under the category of “there should be a law against it.”

The second question I ask is to the artists themselves. Are they aware this is going on? Do they care that somebody is charging more than the face value for their tickets? No wonder concert ticket prices keep going up and up. If The Eagles realize that people are willing to pay over $500 to attend one of their concerts, then they will have no problem asking for more next time.

.
In 1964, I could have seen The Beatles at Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto for $5.50 for the best seats in the house. Compare that with seeing The Eagles in Saskatoon through TicketsNow.

While not illegal, it is just not right. As I said, I will never use Ticketmaster again.

The Big Difference Was Small

2009-01-05T23:17:00.001-05:00

I just finished watching Canada win its fifth straight junior hockey championship. The team played a great game and deserved to win.

In the game prior to the final, Canada faced Russia and was trailing by one goal late in the game. The Canucks tied the game with 5.4 seconds remaining in the third period. Those 5.4 seconds separated them from having all of their dreams dashed and reaching for the prize. It wasn’t over then, either. It took a goal in a shoot-out to claim the victory.

That’s what I like about sports. They teach you that you will never know what might happen and that is why you should never give up.

You may be feeling the same way about your life. Remember, if there are 5.4 seconds left, victory is still possible. It only takes one ray of sunshine to break through the darkness. No matter what happens, keep giving it your best shot.

Keep Shaking

2009-01-01T09:33:00.003-05:00

We change. Life goes on. New challenges face us.

Quite often when change happens, our lives are shaken up. Our habits change. New thought patterns emerge. We have to work at improving the way we do things.

Like one of those ornaments with snow in them, if you don’t keep shaking them, the snow eventually settles and you are back to where it started.

The weight I have lost is a good example. I now weigh about forty pounds less than I did three months ago. My goal is to lose another ten or twenty, which will bring me to an ideal weight for my age.

Having met my initial goal, I could easily be content with that. Even worse, I could go back to the eating habits that put on the weight in the first place. I know this is totally possible because I have rationalized that I have deserved to have that little bit extra for Christmas. Fortunately, going for workouts at the YMCA more regularly has kept the weight from creeping back.

But taking this weight off, keeping it off and losing a bit more means that I have to change my lifestyle. I must keep on shaking the little globe or I will fall into those comfortable patterns from the past.

This image of having to completely shaking the globe can be applied to other areas of my life. If I keep on doing the same-old, same-old, I am going to get the same old results. Yes, it’s very satisfying having a whole dessert instead of a little taste, but it is also more satisfying feeling better about myself. The choice is mine.

The same goes with relationships. I can continue to do the things that make it blah or I can initiate new ideas, shake it up and watch the snow fly. Again, the temptation is there to stop shaking the globe (old habits are so comfortable) and I can be right back where I started.

So, do you want a better life? Then start shaking what you do and don't give up.

Happy New Year

2008-12-31T16:49:00.001-05:00

It’s the last day of 2008. It’s a time when many of us pause and reflect on the year and look forward to the next with anticipation. Some of us may even make resolutions.

One of the things I do is think of friends and send kind thoughts their way. Did you just get one? Don’t duck. Let it hit you! There, that’s better.

When you think of it, every day can be a new beginning – the first day of the rest of your life. Oops, that line has already been taken.

I am content. I don’t have all that I want, but I do have all that I need. I will still have my dreams, but my reality is very nice.

Thank you for all who have sent me comments on my blog. If you are reading this (of course you are, duh!), I wish you all the best and may you live this year in anticipation of all the great things that will happen in your life. If you believe they will happen, you may be right. If you believe they won’t, they probably won’t. So think positive and keep in touch.

Information

2008-12-29T21:03:00.000-05:00

I think back to the good old days of getting information. I would listen to one or two radio stations. I could get fewer than ten television stations – only three when I lived in Edmonton. Telephone and letters delivered the rest of the news in my life.

I remember when I live on the Henschel farm in South Edmonton. I would trudge out to the mailbox about 200 metres from the house. I could have waited and gotten it when I drove in or out of the driveway, but I enjoyed the walk regardless of the weather.

If the mailbox was empty, my heart would sink. However, if there was news, I would clutch the letter. In the summer I would read it on the way back to the house, but when the weather was not so inviting, I would anxiously scurry back to the house. Then I would settle into a comfortable chair by the window where there was plenty of light and take in each handwritten word.

There are times when I long for a letter like that – handwritten. The last one I received was from a guest at our bed and breakfast. She is a wonderful person who used to be an actress. She was actually in one episode of Star Trek. Rather than letters from a keyboard, each one is hand-crafted with a unique style. The author’s personality bleeds into the page. You can almost hear her voice in the words.

Today things are much different. And just like you, much if it is spam. When I look at the amount of information I have to process on a daily basis compared to the 1970s is astonishing. I often wonder if there is a saturation point. I figure there will be a time when the public will demand that everything slows down. Otherwise our abilities to form any reality will be fragmented so badly it won’t make any sense.

What do I mean? There are so many “truths” on the Internet these days that it depends on what you read that will determine your belief system. I see a couple of problems with this. One is the ability to check everything to see if it is true. For example, we have all had friends who have forwarded us junk mail promising us that Bill Gates will send us money if we only forward an email to all of our friends. If people are so gullible with this, how will they decipher other information on the Internet that might be a bit more important?

It almost reminds me of the Tower of Babel. All was going well until everybody started speaking different languages. It fragmented the people. I see this same kind of split with information. People are going off in all directions and they are usually doing it alone, much like at a fireworks display. One of the hard things is keeping up with it all. I feel like a hamster running in the wheel and it is turning faster and faster.

That’s when I go back in my mind to the long lane on the farm in Alberta and dream of getting a hand-written letter from home.

Start at the Top

2008-12-26T22:43:00.003-05:00

It looks like the governments of the United States and Canada are going to send money to Chrysler, Ford and General Motors to help them survive. Doing so will guarantee employment for thousands of autoworkers. The benefits will be passed on to many others in their communities when they spend their wages.

In Canada, we are told that there will be conditions on the loans. I think I have heard the same happening in the United States.

Here is one condition I would like to see. Give the executives of these companies – the people at the top – a fraction of the money they made before. Better yet, pay them the same wage an assembly worker gets, and then give them a commission on the profits. If the companies loses money, they get the same wages as the rest of the workers.

One may argue that they are worth more than this. Are they? I could have done the same as they did for half the wage.

What kind of money are we looking at? GM’s top five executives make over $7 million in salaries. The top gun, G. Richard Wagoner, received a total compensation in 2007 of $14.5 million.

Is it fair for them to work for a commission? When I sold radio advertising, that’s what I did. It wasn’t easy. Anyway, aren't these people paid to run the company successfully?

Certainly agreeing to these kinds of conditions would send a message to the world that these people are serious about trying to get the auto industry back on track. After the three auto executives’ flights to Washington in private jets, I think their images could use some removing of the tarnish. It would also show tremendous leadership.

I remember when the Ottawa Senators was in a financial crisis. The team looked as if it might fold and it was late in paying the players. The captain, Daniel Alfredson, instructed the management to pay the rest of the team before him. If there wasn’t enough money to pay him, then the team could reimburse him when it had the money. It was one of the classiest acts I have ever seen in sport (take note Don Cherry and Alfredson is Swedish).

I think the leaders of the auto industry need to follow this example. In fact, there should be a few other industry leaders who should take note.

Perceptions

2008-12-24T16:10:00.003-05:00

I didn’t think of him as being like that. And I didn’t think of her as being rude. Yet in the last week I have heard two comments about people I know that I wonder how the person who made the comment got that impression.

Do these people who don’t like my friends have it all wrong? I don’t know. Perhaps their reasons they feel the way they do are perfectly valid. I might even be having the wool pulled over my eyes by the very people they are talking about. Who know, maybe something has happened in their lives that give them such a different opinion.

You know what? That’s what makes life interesting. If everybody agreed with everything everybody said, things would be very boring.

What is important is to learn how to agree to disagree.

My brother, Barry, is a good example. We grew up with the classic case of sibling rivalry. There are many topics that he and I disagree on. When we get together, we often start discussions that can become quite heated.

All this being said, if I ever needed something, I know I could count on him to help. I hope he feels the same about me.

People are going to have feelings about everything. Having walked a different path than I, chances are they are going to be different than mine. That’s OK. It’s fine for them to have different opinions than I do. I have the right to have my beliefs. You can think I am crazy for them. I can’t tell you how to think. I can only be responsible for how I react.

So, how do I feel about these people who feel that two of my friends are not trustworthy? I accept their opinions and the right to have them. I may not agree with them, but I trust that circumstances will arise where they will see another side of these people they don’t respect.

My life is like a garden. I can choose to sow seeds that produce bitter fruit or sweet fruit. I can leave it unattended and let the weeds run rampant. Or I can maintain it faithfully, learning from the changes of the seasons and making adjustments according to what life throws at me.

However, getting upset at every person who doesn’t agree with me isn’t going to make me happy at all. There are so many people who don’t view things the way I do. Embracing and welcoming these differences will mean a more joyful existence.

The Blizzard

2008-12-22T22:55:00.003-05:00

I really don’t like winter. I prefer summer any day.

Compare casually strolling out to my front porch watching a river float by to having to put on layers of clothing before I dare set foot outside into the cold.

But it is not the difference in temperature that is the main problem. It is the snow. Actually, it is not the snow. I don’t mind it that much. It is great for skiing in and building snowmen. What I dislike so much is what I have to do with it.

In the summer, I have to cut the lawn. However, I decide when I am going to do it. I can delay the task a day or two and it really won’t make much of a difference. Not getting cut so often might actually be good for the grass.

Snow is different. While the grass gently whispers to me, snow shouts. It says, “Come on out and shovel me or you won’t be able to get where you want!” I can be called to perform my duty any time of the day. Blowing snow first thing in the morning isn’t what I would call easing into the day.

But that isn’t the whole story. We had a blizzard on Friday. I waited for the snow to stop falling. Then I cleared the driveway and porch. Even with my snow blower, it took me over an hour. Guess what? It snowed again on Saturday and I had to go through the same process all over. Guess what again? Yes, a new layer of the white stuff is on the driveway. Fortunately, there isn’t enough to get worried about, but there is no guarantee that I won’t be welcomed tomorrow morning by another invitation to go outside to work.

I often look at situations in life and try to figure out what I can learn from them. Canadian winters have taught me plenty. The lesson here is that there are some things that you have to do without knowing if the fruits of your labour will result in the desired outcome. Sometimes circumstances ignore all of your efforts and take you back to the starting gate.

Sitting inside my house and just leaving the snow is not an option. Neither is doing nothing about the difficulties in life. I have get out there and get on with the job. If something else comes up, I have to deal with that too.

Why do I keep on doing this? Because I know that spring will eventually come. The warm air will melt all that remains and I will bask in and appreciate the warmth of better times. Meanwhile, there are things that have to be done now, despite the obstacles. Life is still meant for living, it is just a bit more difficult right now. Not to worry, it is only four months until April. And in my life, I am confident that plugging away will eventually lead me to better things.

Now, if you pardon me, I have to go check to see if it’s snowing.

Love and Respect

2008-12-21T21:00:00.005-05:00

I just finished this book by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. It talked about the relationship between men and women in a way I had never heard before. Here is the short version of what it says.

Women need unconditional love from men. They need to know that no matter what, they are loved in so many wonderful ways.

However, the book states that unconditional love is not what a man needs. As the subtitle puts, what he desperately needs is unconditional respect. The book goes on to define what that means.

Eggerichs feels that many marriages fail because the woman fails to get the love she needs, while the man doesn’t get respect. Since the woman needs love to give respect and the man needs respect to give love, the result can be an endless cycle of conflict and needs not being met.

The book gave me lots to think about. It provided a few insights I had never realized.

What if he doesn’t deserve a woman’s respect and what if she doesn’t deserve the man’s love? That is where Dr. Eggerichs hits you with the word unconditional. Unconditional is a difficult word. His reasoning of its importance is that if you wait for the other person to supply what is needed, nothing will happen.

What I liked about the book was that it wasn’t too severe on either sex. It was gentle in instruction, but laid out the groundwork clearly.

Of course it was easy from my point of view to see all of the areas where women just didn’t get it. I’m sure a woman would have a field day with all of the areas where I am found lacking. The part that hit me between the eyes, though, was when he talked about women giving men unconditional love, figuring that it was what men needed because women need it so much. According to the good doctor, it is not what men need so much at all. Respect is the answer.

Interested? Go here and check it out - http://www.loveandrespect.com. Not interested? No problem, and if you have no problems whatsoever in your relationships, you should be writing a book.

Peace On Earth

2008-12-18T23:39:00.001-05:00

I don’t have the answers, but I have a lot of questions.

I have friends who are very much anti-war. Many Canadians question our role in Afghanistan and strongly demand that we get out.

Now, here are the questions.

If we leave Afghanistan, the Taliban will almost certainly take over. The rights of women to get an education and lead a normal life, something beyond being a means of reproducing children, will be gone. Many, many people will be forced against their will to conform to a standard that is quite extreme. Are we willing to sit around and do nothing and let this happen?

In many parts of Africa, people are being killed by bands of rebels. Women are being raped. Children are being forced to be soldiers. Are we willing to sit around and do nothing and let this happen?

I find it amusing that during the Olympics protesters were picketing against the restriction of freedoms in Tibet. I think many people in Afghanistan and the Congo would consider it a privilege to live in Tibet. Where are all of the protesters against what is happening in the Congo?

Should we enter into a conflict to try to defend the defenceless? What if somebody was attacking members of your family? Would you sit idly by and refuse to raise a hand if doing so would stop the aggression?

How much do we embrace peace when it may not include justice? Yes, I have many questions, but few answers. However, I have yet to hear from those who oppose war as to what they would do against injustice against the defenceless in the world. Or would they idly sit by while innocent people are being massacred?
How would I feel if I was being attacked unjustly and those with some real power stood idly by and let it happen?

I sometimes wonder if some Ghandi-type figure might emerge. My guess is that in today’s world, he would be assassinated long before he could accomplish his mission.

The closest I have come to having hope for solution to the violence in the world was contained in the book, Three Cups of Tea. Perhaps education is the way to defeat the ignorance in the world.

But, as I said, I have many questions, but few answers.

My New Christmas Tradition

2008-12-17T22:42:00.002-05:00

There has been more than one Christmas that I almost spent alone. One was in Edmonton, the other in Ottawa.

On both occasions, I dropped in on people around mealtime, hoping they would see the obvious – that I had nowhere to go.

I know how much I appreciated being with people on Christmas Day. I can live without getting any gifts. With seven older brothers and sisters, I have received enough gifts to last me a lifetime. However, I can’t imagine anything lonelier that sitting down to an ordinary meal alone. The love of these friends has touched me deeply.

For several years now, I have had a new Christmas tradition. I go looking for people who may not have anywhere to go.

A few years ago, we had the pleasure of welcoming into our home a Nigerian family, complete with five kids for our festive meal. They had never experienced a Canadian Christmas. They didn’t care for some of what we consider standard for our table, but what they did like they heaped on their plates. The father of the clan refused to put on the paper hat in the Christmas cracker until I reminded him that I was the head of the household and this was our tradition.

After dinner, we played Charades and a Nigerian game with stones. We also watched “It’s a Wonderful Life”.

The kids had so much fun, they invited themselves back, minus their parents, the next year. We had no problem accepting their invitation to invade our home again. The previous year had produced so much love and laughter. We did much of the same as before with a few new wrinkles thrown in. The result was the same.

Since then, I have asked people who I think might be alone what their plans might be. I am happy to say that everybody seems to have a place to go.

However, this year we will be hosting a former student of mine from Harbin, China. I am looking forward to the experience. It is wonderful to look through the Christmas experience through somebody else’s eyes.

When my friends and neighbours provided me with a Christmas dinner in my lonely times, I thought I was receiving something great. I found that when I am able to provide a memorable holiday for somebody else, I also received something wonderful. It is as if the love between the two parties meets in some magical spot and produces something special that is greater than the sum of the two parts.

There are a few days left before Christmas. Why don’t you look for somebody to invite into your home? If you find somebody, you will never regret it.

Financial Crisis

2008-12-09T20:12:00.002-05:00

It is no secret. Countries in the world are scrambling to turn around the recession.

In Canada, we have been told that the way we regulate our financial institutions has left us better off than many, including the United States. However, I don’t believe for one moment that we are doing all that we can.

During World War II, England formed a war cabinet that was made up of representatives of all parties. Why aren’t we doing the same to tackle the foe?

What has happened in the past couple of weeks in Canada has done little to give confidence to Canadians that our elected members of Parliament are doing their best to solve the financial crisis.

To start, the Conservative government, which doesn’t have a majority, proposed some budgetary measures without testing the waters first. This caused a revolt in Parliament. The opposition parties ganged up and have talked of asking the Governor General to let them lead the country. Under ordinary circumstances, I would have no problem with this. Unfortunately, Canada is anything but an ordinary country.

To start, the coalition that plans on overthrowing the Conservatives requires the support of the Bloc Quebecois, a political party with the sole intent of having Quebec leave the country. In fact, the one part of the Conservative budget that irritated the other parties so much was doling out money to all the party coffers based on the votes they received in the last election. Yes, in Canada we actually pay a political party that wants to destroy the country. We are so accommodating and fair that we spend taxpayer’s money to work against ourselves. Amazing!

The other interesting fact is that until yesterday, the person who was destined to lead the country as Prime Minister was Stephane Dion, the Liberal leader who was rejected by most Canadians. The plan was to have him as the chief for a period of six months or so until a new leader of the Liberal Party is chosen. Pinch me! Does this sound like a strong plan to defeat the economic woes of the country?

The reality is that this is more about the hatred the opposition parties have for Stephen Harper than their love of Canada. Unfortunately, Harper has offered few olive branches to them, unlike President Elect Barack Obama who appears to be getting the best people to do the job regardless of whether they are former foes.

So what do we do? Do we allow the coalition to form the government and divide Canadians? Don’t forget there are many who voted for the Conservatives, particularly in provinces like Alberta, which has hinted at times it might be better off outside our confederation.

To me, the only solution is for all parties to seize the moment and work together and attack the problem, not the people. We elected a Parliament. Now get together and start working. Let’s quit the politics and roll up our sleeves and get cracking.

The Shouldice Hospital

2008-12-07T21:54:00.003-05:00

I returned this weekend from the Shouldice Hospital in Toronto. It is unique. Since the mid-40s, it has performed only hernia operations. It is one of the best facilities of its kind in the world.

Because it only has to concentrate on one type of operation, it is very efficient. Operations are performed there like clockwork. You might think that this assembly-line type of approach would be dehumanizing, but it has an opposite effect.

Since they only do one type of operation, they are very efficient. The patients are happy and confident that the job is going to be done well. The success rate is over 99%.

Since all of the patients are undergoing the same treatment, there is a camaraderie that develops. They encourage each other.

It is almost a country-club type atmosphere. Meals are served in a common dining room. Waitresses bring you your food. My first meal there was tortellini. How many hospitals serve tortellini? I even saw one gentleman ask for and receive seconds.

The bedrooms are carpeted, which decreases the noise. They have a library, lots of newspapers and a piano and guitar for your enjoyment. Oh, and I forgot the pool table and shuffleboard table.

Things just go along so well that it leaves a positive effect on everyone.

Considering the other types of operations that are so common today, it makes me wonder why there aren't similar specialized hospitals for thinks like hip and knee replacements, heart transplants and other ailments. Putting all of your eggs in one basket seems to make a lot of sense.

It reminds me when I first loaded a film at a television station. It took me 5 minutes and I still did it incorrectly. In six months I was able to do it in 6 seconds. What I am trying to point out is that doing the same thing over and over can create such an efficiency that saves money. As long as the person enjoys doing the action, it only benefits everyone. And, as I said, having like-minded people together in one spot builds a team spirit that is good for everyone.

Edmonton’s #1 Resident

2008-12-01T23:13:00.003-05:00

I had the great privilege of living in the Henschel home in Edmonton. They had sold their land, making them instant millionaires, and built a beautiful home on the other side of the Calgary Trail. Until the developer did something, they had the right to rent whatever they could to whomever.

It was a beautiful home, situated 300 metres from the road. A white picket fence surrounded it as well as some trees. Inside was a huge kitchen, thick wall-to-wall carpeting in the living and dining rooms and a custom china cabinet. Upstairs were three moderately sized bedrooms. All of this cost only $125 a month to rent, plus the cost for electricity and gas to heat the home.

It was also the home that was the closest to the southeast corner of Edmonton, giving it the lowest possible street address at the time. Thus, I was Edmonton’s number one resident.

There was one slight catch. There was no plumbing. The way I figured it, Reinhard and Alice Henschel had lived without running water for decades. I should be able to do it. And I did.

Getting up every morning was a ritual. Downstairs was a reservoir that collected rainwater. I would scoop it into a big pot and put it on the gas stove to heat up. I would then take my cup of coffee into the living room and read. Sometimes I would just watch the sun rise.

When the water was hot, I would pour it into the washbasin in the sink. Rainwater is very soft. I would take a washcloth and lather the soap and pass it over my body, starting with my face and working my way down. Standing naked in my kitchen, I had to keep an eye out to see if somebody might suddenly visit. Being in the country, this didn’t happen very often.

For over two years I had hardly any showers or baths, yet the rainwater gave me the cleanest of bodies and the softest hair.

Drinking water was taken from the well. Fortunately the pump had an electric motor. In the coldest winter days, I had to pour a bit of hot water down the pump to melt any ice that might cause the rod to snap. The mineral content of this water seemed perfect. On the hottest days, this cold liquid could slake any thirst.

The only problem with some who visited my home was the outhouse. It was a two-seater and I kept it spotless. A product called Mistovan kept it smelling nice or, should I say, kept it from smelling dreadful. Still some guests refused to use it. I remember spending hours preparing a meal for Tom and his family. They ate, and then promptly left. Somebody had to go to the toilet and was squeamish. I was not impressed.

It was a bit inconvenient trundling out there, especially the last thing at night and first thing in the morning. Winter was not so pleasant.

There was one advantage of potty trips in the winter, though. I never had to worry about constipation. On the really cold days, your butt would hit the toilet seat. The instant reaction was the tightening of all of your abdominal muscles and anything that was in your bowel would be exit like shot out of a cannon.

One year I had a huge problem. You know how exposure to the cold can give you chapped lips. Well, I had another area that had deep cracks in the skin. It was very painful.

I look back at that time with very mixed feelings. The rolling pastures that surrounded me when I lived in that house calmed the turmoil in my life at that time. I strolled out on many evenings watching the sun descend and the stars appear. The only sound I heard was the wind. I was able to find refuge from the world surrounded by three hundred acres – a buffer zone from the rest of the world. At times I long to go back to that land. The only problem is that, like most things these days, time changes everything. The land has been developed and from what I see on Google Earth, the house is no longer there. However, it is still strongly etched in my memory.

I'm Still Here

2008-11-29T22:44:00.001-05:00

I haven't felt very inspired lately. I am content, but there has been little desire to write. Hopefully, I will be back to my usual self.

November Blahs

2008-11-24T22:31:00.001-05:00

As the days get shorter, I find that my body and mind seem to go into hibernation. There is a tendency to want to curl up with a good book in bed. Writing appears to be too much work.

Not much exciting seems to be happening. Sure, I’ve lost 36 pounds and I’m still going down. Maybe that’s part of the problem. I’m suffering from pizza withdrawal. My body is in shock from a few months of healthy foods being eaten. I have eaten more apples in the past week than I have eaten in some years. I don’t know how much more lettuce I can look at. The funny thing is that I don’t have the same craving for food. As the fat has melted away, so has my desire for the stuff that put it there in the first place. I have learned the discipline of moderation. A little taste of everything is just fine.

Still, I long for more adventure in my life.

I have done something wild and crazy, though. No, I haven’t gotten a tattoo or pierced any part of my body. That will never happen. It’s just not me.

As my body has shrunk, some of my clothes are too large. Some of my briefs were getting too large and a bit old, so I decided to try something different. I bought boxer briefs. For a guy to go from briefs to boxers or vice versa is a bold move indeed. It is as bold as changing toothpaste, which is something I can’t contemplate doing. But I took the plunge anyway.

By making this move, I discovered one thing. I really don’t think of underwear much during the day. It has made no difference whatsoever.

So I have to try some other foolish thing to do. Then again, at this time of year when the days are getting shorter, I don’t mind being dull and boring.