Letting Go

I’m not sure if I learned a valuable lesson this week. I guess you could say that I learned it in theory, but I’m not sure if I passed the practical work.

Sometimes in life I just do things because I feel they should be done. Recently I decided to send in an application form to Softball Ontario to have the 1949 Tip Top Tailors softball team inducted into the Softball Canada Hall of Fame.

I was given some contact names, told where to get the nomination forms and instructed to put a package together.

Putting together a portfolio consisting of events that happened almost sixty years ago isn’t easy. I made one trip to Toronto to visit Ray, one of the four remaining players. I also called Babe, who is also in his eighties.

Ray gave me some photos of the team. Babe sent some more photos and some newspaper clippings. The rest of the information came from the archives of the Toronto Star.

When everything was complete, I mailed it to my contact in St. Thomas who was going to present it to Softball Ontario. He received it and had a couple of questions.

Then the lesson started.

I started to fret. Negative thoughts filled my head. I kept going over various scenarios of “what if” and became anxious. One night I woke up at 3 am and sent an email with more information to my contact in St. Thomas.

Then I thought, “This is ridiculous!” And it was. I had done everything I could. My submission was very thorough. It wasn’t in my hands anymore, yet I refused to let go. I was imagining all sorts of problems before any decision was made.

On Saturday night I received an email from the St. Thomas contact. In it he stated that there were seven submissions to recommend to Softball Canada for the Hall of Fame and the one I put in was ranked the number one priority.

I was pleased, of course, but I was also embarrassed. I thought of all the energy I had wasted on something I couldn’t control. I had put myself through a lot of beating up for no reason at all. I had assumed something without giving others the chance to react to my nomination.

Sometimes the more we want something, the more we reach out and try to influence it. While I would have felt an injustice would have been done if this team had been rejected, I have to accept the fact that it is not my decision.

You would think I would learn this, wouldn’t you? It is a hard lesson. As I said, I passed the theory. I understand that what I say is true. It’s the practicum that is the difficult part – actually allowing things to happen that are beyond your control. I should realize that I have better things to spend my energy on than things I can’t change.

As the saying goes, “Lord, allow me to change the things I cannot accept, and to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.” It’s the third part of the equation for which I need a large dose.