Speaking the Language

Effective communication means using the English language in a way that resonates with your audience.

When I worked in television advertising in Edmonton, I feel we lost an important account because my boss prevented me from presenting a proposal in a manner that the client would appreciate.

The Full Gospel Businessmen’s Association sponsored a program that was broadcast on our station called Good News. Due to Canadian content laws, the organization, based in California, realized that there were many advantages in having it produced in Canada.

The Edmonton chapter of this organization was very strong. So was the Toronto chapter. It was basically a two-horse competition.

There were many reasons why Edmonton should have won over Toronto. Our production costs were less. It took less time and less money to commute between California and Edmonton. Our staff and production facilities were among the best in Canada.

Landing this account was pretty important, too. This was an organization of businessmen. There is no telling how much additional business rubbing shoulders with them could have generated.

I put together a great package that ended with the line, “It is my sincere hope that our proposal is an answer to your prayers.”

When my boss saw this, he made me take it out. He indicated this in the strongest possible terms. Why? Was there something untruthful about what I said? Not at all. If these were Christian businessmen, they would, indeed, be praying about it. Was I being insincere and giving them a line just to win the contract? No, I honestly thought we would do the best job. Anyway, selling what you have is putting it in a favourable light in language that the consumer will appreciate. The problem was that my boss wasn’t a very religious person – more anti-religious – and he didn’t speak the language.

The result was that Toronto won the contract. I still wonder how things might have been if I had been allowed to keep that one sentence in my introductory letter. I don’t waste too much time on it, though. There is nothing I can do to change what happened. It’s history.