Just a word?

You can’t have it both ways. The switch has to be on or off, otherwise you are arguing about shades of light. When does the darkness end in a room?

What I am I talking about?

It’s about the double standard we are preaching in our society. I think the wrong side is winning.

I read an interview in the Toronto Star last week about a film at the Toronto Film Festival. I won’t mention the title of the film, even though that is what this article is all about. I won’t do it for a very good reason. Repeating the title will do exactly what the writers were expecting when they created it. As my journalist friends used to say, “There’s no such thing as bad media. The only bad media is when they aren’t talking about you at all.”

But I do have to comment about one part of the interview. A question is asked of Martin Gero, the co-writer and director, about the title.

Q: Why do you think the word f------ bothers people so much?

A: Gero: "I don't know. I would love to meet the five-year-old that would be offended by the word and rescue him from whatever family he's from ... But I think f--- is like the granddaddy of swears. You still can't say it on TV, either, although you can throw a `s---' once an hour."

Martin, please! Rescue the five-year-old? By the way, the article mentions that his mother is upset with the title. However, I guess Gero is not offended at all. Perhaps he has the mind of a five-year-old.

Here is where I am coming from.

There are lots of words that don’t offend five-year-olds. If you are from my generation, you will remember how you chose who got to pick first in pickup ball. “Eenie, meenie, miney, moe, catch a …..” We don’t use that one any more, but when we were young, we had no idea of what we were saying. There were many words that had no significance to us. Kooties were something you could catch, but I was well into adulthood before I found out they were lice. We had words for people who came to North America from Italy without papers, people from the Orient, and homosexuals. To a five-year-old they mean nothing.

Somewhere in life as you mature, these words take on a different significance. It is then that society deems them as evil. What words are wrong change with time, circumstances and what we allow to happen. I can’t imagine you walking up to the Queen and saying, “Liz, how the f___ are you?” Sure, you might boast that you would do just that. You wouldn’t, you know. If you did, you would be showing ignorance. The problem is where do you draw the line? At what point do you say that it’s ok?

Recently Don Imus was fired for saying something many have said in music. People cite the difference in social, ethnic and economic backgrounds of “artists”. It seems to be ok for some to use a certain kind of language, but not ok for Don Imus. Hogwash! Either it is right for everyone or nobody.

What concerns me is that Gero, and some members of the Toronto Star entertainment staff don’t seem to like the idea that the full title isn’t being printed. The Star cites the fact that they are a family newspaper. It is taking stands like these that make me continue my subscription.

Now, before you sick the “freedom of speech” people on me, remember a couple of things. One, if you really believe in freedom of speech, then you will appreciate that this is exactly what I am doing now. Two, you will hopefully recognize that with words there comes a responsibility.

I am an occasional teacher. I have met many kids over the years. They come in all kinds. I have noticed one thing. The parents who don’t teach their kids that some things are right or wrong, including words, are the ones who often have problems. The very kids that Martin Gero would like to save are usually the best ones. The ones who have no boundaries are the ones who just don’t get how life works.

Perhaps they become film directors, like Gero. Martin, stick to coming up with film titles to grab attention to promote what talent you may have. Please don’t try to force your standards on a society where good parenting is hard to find.

If you don’t understand what I am talking about, Martin, ask your mother. She sounds like a good parent.