Alvin

No, Alvin is not his real name, but he is one of the most interesting characters I have ever met in my life.

If my life was in danger, I’m sure I could count on Alvin to help me. He certainly is a compassionate soul. But would I trust my life in his hands? Never.

You see, Alvin is a con artist. He has a way of gaining your confidence, and then you discover later he has been deceiving you all along the way.

Has Alvin ever lied to me? No. The problem is that he has seldom told me the whole truth. What do I mean? Let me give you an example.

There was one piece of cake left in the refrigerator, at least, so I thought. When I went to get it, it was no longer there. No big problem, I didn’t need it anyway, but I was curious about where it went. I decided to ask Alvin.

“Alvin, did you eat that last piece of cake?” I asked.

“Why are you asking me?” he replied.

“Because I thought you might know,” I stated.

“Are you accusing me of eating the last piece of cake?”

“No, I’m asking if you know who did.”

“Well, why would you think I would know?”

“I don’t. I’m asking if you do know.”

And so the conversation went back and forth until I finally asked, “Yes or no, did you eat the last piece of cake?” Silence was his reply. The only thing I could imagine is that he felt like a mouse caught in a trap. What would happen if he were honest and answered yes? That would reveal that he was trying to escape the truth all along. If he answered no, then he would be lying – something he considered wrong.

While Alvin was in our care, he was out of jail on bail. I held the bond. That meant that if he violated the terms of his bail, I was out some money. Thus, there was some interest on my part that he keep himself out of trouble.

The year before, he had become involved with a travelling carnival that set up next to his high school. This led to serious problems for him. One of the conditions I put on my putting up the bail money was that he was not to go to this carnival.

Alvin took the school bus home, but one day I got off early and decided to meet him at school and drive him home. I watched and watched as the students came out of the school at the end of the day. Alvin never appeared. I figured I had missed him and he was on the bus home.

It was the first day of the carnival, and I like the atmosphere, so I decided to take a stroll through the grounds. I turned a corner and there was the game where you have to toss rings over the mouth of Coke bottles. And there was Alvin, too. I was shocked. He knew he wasn’t supposed to be there, but he stood like a deer in headlights wondering what I was going to do.

I told him to get to my car immediately. His new boss told me that I didn’t have the right to talk to his employee that way. I told him that Alvin was out of jail on bail and that I had the bond. I DID have the right to talk to him that way. If he didn’t do what I said, I would tell the police that I was no longer going to post the bond and they could arrest him.

Alvin still didn’t know what to do. He had been caught in a lie. The truth had been exposed to me and now to his new boss. He didn’t want to follow me. That would admit to this complete stranger that I was right and that I had some control over him. He took off, which solved nothing. He didn’t want to confront the truth.

Something died that day. Yes, I still care about Alvin very much, but it is more out of pity. I discovered that day that I cannot trust Alvin. I’m not sure what it will take for that trust to be restored. You see, it is not for me to restore that trust. Only Alvin can do that. All I can say is that I hope one day he will change his ways and tell me the truth. Somehow I doubt that will happen.

Alvin lost more than my trust that day.

First, he lost the chance to be forgiven. In order to be forgiven, you have to admit that you were wrong and then repent, which means to feel badly about what you have done. He seemed incapable of doing either. It was easier to avoid the problem or pretend that it was the fault of something or somebody else. What is sad is that I would be more than willing to forgive him if he would confess. That would mean admitting he was wrong, which was very difficult for him to do.

Secondly, he lost a bit of himself. Only he knows the game that he plays. Only he has to live with the deception he sows. Only he knows whether the relationships he will have in the future will follow the same pattern that is hard for him to break. Only he has to constantly look over his shoulder in fear of being discovered and the truth being revealed. This fear prevents him from leading a full life.

All I know is that the relationship he can have with me will probably never reach its potential because of his inability to tell the whole truth. Yes, this may change, but it will take a lifetime of trying to con people to turn around.