Dostoyevsky

My introduction to Dostoyevsky was not a pleasant one, but I am glad I had the opportunity to discover this genius of Russian literature.

While I was at the University of Alberta, a professor by the name of Wangler taught a course. The word in the halls was that it was an easy one, impossible to flunk. Since I was working full time and going to university full time, this was perfect.

On the first day, he entered the class with photocopied sheets of his reading list. You were required to read a certain number of books. I never realized until the end of the course that he never checked on whether you actually read the books or not.

Anyway, at that time I had a close circle of friends. One of the things they would do would be to thrust books in my hands and tell me to read them. I did. As a result, I got to learn a lot of neat things and got to know my friends better.

I resented that this cowboy would enter into my life and tell me to read certain books when I was already well-read. I went to talk with him. I made a deal with this little devil in my life. I would read three of his books for every one of mine he read. He agreed.

I was kind. I gave him Dr. Jacob Bronowski’s The Ascent of Man, which had been a BBC television series. He was so impressed, he actually added it to his list of books to read for future students. I certainly appreciated the praise.

What I didn’t appreciate was the book he gave me to read. It was Crime and Punishment by Dostoyevsky.

At the best of times this is a difficult book emotionally to read. The author draws you into the pages and you actually feel the agony of the main character. Reading this at one of the lowest points of my life heightened the experience.

Crime and Punishment is about a man who murders somebody in the apartment below (or above – I forget). It follows his day-to-day activity until he is finally caught..

The crime was pretty obvious, a murder. What was the punishment? It was not what happened after the main character was apprehended and tried. I don’t remember this being a part of the book. I think it ends with him being arrested by the police. No, the punishment was knowing that he had done something wrong and waiting to be caught. Day after day went by when he worried if he would make that mistake that would expose what he had done.

What amazed me is how every nuance of feeling of this man was transferred to my soul. I felt every fear, every doubt, and every cautionary thought. I was tortured just like he was. Considering that I was reading a translation, I often wonder how much greater the impact would have been if I could have read it in Russian.

After reading the book, I went back to Wangler and told him that his choice of book had been unfair, but that it was something that would influence me all of my life.

And in my own experiences in life, I have found Dostoyevsky to be absolutely right.