Grandma and Grandpa

I had very unusual grandparents. The problem was that I didn’t know it when I was growing up.

They never phoned me. They never hugged me. In fact, they really didn’t talk to me.

When we went to their place to visit, we were allowed in only one room, the kitchen. All others were off limits, including the bathroom. If I had to go, I had to hold it until we got home.

My grandparents had a cottage at Lake Simcoe. We were never invited to stay there.

I never tasted my grandmother’s cooking. The only thing we ate was Kraft caramels. She always tried to get me to take the dark ones, mainly because she didn’t like them. Of course, I didn’t like them either and took the light ones.

Since my dad’s parents were dead, I had nobody to compare with, so I thought all of this was normal. I explained a lot away with the fact that we were a family with eight children and our size prevented us from being invited over for dinner.

When my grandma shook hands, she went sideways, not up and down like most people. The result is that a handshake sort of went around in circles.

When she sneezed, she didn’t go “Ah-choo!” It came out “Ah-chism!”

The one thing I did find unusual, though, is that I never got a birthday card or gift from them. The same went for Christmas.

One of our Christmas Day traditions was going to my aunt’s house for lunch. One year we arrived when my cousins and their children were there. My grandmother and grandfather arrived. What happened next shocked me. They started handing out presents to their other grandchildren and their great grandchildren, but not to me.

My mother explained that I should remember all the gifts I got every Christmas, which was true, but it wasn’t the gift that bothered me. It was the fact that for some reason I was not the same as her other grandchildren. I didn’t even rate with her great grandchildren. I had to sit there silently as they opened their gifts with glee. I tried to melt into the sofa.

My only regret is that my grandparents died before I was old enough to ask them why they acted the way they did. I am pretty sure that it had nothing to do with me. I think they were punishing my mother for not being a “good girl” like her sister.

When it comes to gift giving, I am still a bit awkward, but I can tell you this. Wherever I am, I make sure I have something for everyone in the room.

This experience has also taught me to focus on what I have and not to expect anything from everyone. That is why I love getting gifts. The ones I prefer are those that are not on any special day that are given out of obligation. They are the ones that come spontaneously. They are the ones that say that I am special.