St. Marys

Ah, move to a small town and get away from the rat race, they say. I think they have it all wrong, whoever they are.

The way I see it, you are a rat in a maze either way. The only difference is that in a city you have a much bigger maze than in a small town. A metropolis gives you the anonymity to lead a sane life. What do I mean? Here are some examples.

In life, there are people you encounter that you don’t like. In a small town, you keep bumping into them over and over. Like a jack-in-the-box, they appear at the post office, in the grocery store and in restaurants. You just can’t avoid them.

Everybody knows all about you, too. For example, my sister and her husband decided to move to St. Marys. I went to the bank and one of the tellers knew all about it. What is unusual is that I barely knew the woman and she really didn’t know my sister very well.

When I lived in Ottawa, there was a vast selection of people to choose from for friends. Here there aren’t so many. Also, many already have a full slate of buddies they have had for years. It is difficult for you to break the barrier and get inside somebody’s circle.

The hardest part is having to make choices about the folk providing you with services.

I go to Mike’s Barber Shop. He is a regular, old-fashioned barber. None of this hair styling for me. However, even if I wanted to change, I couldn’t. I would be terrified of meeting Mike downtown sometimes and having to explain my absence. In the big city, you can disappear into the woodwork like a termite.

Every time I walk by Stacy’s Pizza, I wonder if Jen Stacy is wondering why I never buy from her.

I have had personal and association accounts in almost every bank in town. I don’t want to show favouritism, do I?

We eat at both Chinese food restaurants and both pubs for the same reason. We have been to almost every auto repair shop. Since we now have a Chrysler and a GM product, we can settle on one dealer and everyone will understand. We aren’t making a choice. The cars are.

Down the line it goes, shop by shop, business by business. Trying to show support for everyone and making sure your allegiances are spread around. It seems that there are at least two of every type of store. You have to make a choice and everyone seems to know your decision.

I have one big problem though and that is the last decision I will have to make on this earth. You see, we have two funeral parlours. When I die, I will have to use the services of Ball’s or Hodges’. Both owners are fine men. Both assist greatly in the community. I just don’t want to go through eternity having one of them disappointed in my decision and the whole town knowing which one I chose. Now guilt like this would never happen in a city.

Either I have to move back to the city or to a smaller town where there is only one of everything.

The Impossible Dream

I like writing poems from time to time. Once in awhile I read something that I wish I had written. Today is a good example. I hope you enjoy it.

The Impossible Dream
from MAN OF LA MANCHA (1972)
music by Mitch Leigh and lyrics by Joe Darion

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far

To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a heavenly cause

And I know if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star

A Little Bit

A little bit of everything equals a lot of something.

We were talking about dieting and the problem with buffets. Some have so many selections. You want to try everything, so you have a little bit of everything and soon you find that you have a lot of something. You overeat.

I don’t know if anybody has said this before, but when I blurted this out, everybody felt that something profound had been said.

In today’s world people often want instant success. In most cases this doesn’t happen. You have to do the little things right and keep adding.

While I am not an accomplished guitar player, I have been working at it. I didn’t start until I was thirty-eight years old. There was a long period when I didn’t play it at all. Since I have been supply teaching, I have been practising whenever I can, sneaking in sessions at recess, lunch and during prep periods. Slowly, but surely, I have been getting better. Chords that used to be a mystery are suddenly within my abilities. I have a lot of improvement still to do, but I enjoy discovering new music I can master.

So don’t be discouraged. Keep at it, even if you are doing just a little bit. Put all of those little bits together and you could have something very special.

Mr. Winters

When I was growing up, Jim Winters was the pitcher on our softball team. Almost every day in the summer, he practiced for about an hour to become better. After Christmas and until the snow went away, he would try to find someplace indoors to work on his technique once a week.

I was the right fielder on the team, but the catcher didn’t want to help Jim in his routine. I was asked and decided to help.

I remember the first time we went over to the backstop at Edithvale School, three blocks from where I lived. For an hour I squatted then stood up. Up and down and up and down I went. By the time I went home, I could barely walk. I was so sore I crawled halfway.

Often we would go to Jim’s house after practice. It was there that I came under the influence of Jim’s father, James K. Winters.

Mr. Winters was a successful lawyer. He eventually became a Queen’s Counsel, a title of honour that was discontinued in Ontario in 1985. This is all stuff I didn’t care about or learned later on in life. To me he was simply Jim’s dad and the closest thing I could observe of what a dad could be.

What I like most about him was the way he analysed situations, especially our softball team. We would be going into a series against a tough opponent and he would weigh all of the evidence and come to the conclusion that we deserved to win more than the other team. It wasn’t just that we were going to win, but it justice was to be done and the sun would rise in the east tomorrow, we had to win. It was as simple as this.

His confidence, encouragement and assurance helped a kid like me who had to work at my self-image. I grew up figuring that I wasn’t worthy of what I desired. I had to be satisfied with what I got. Although I sometimes still fall into this trap, I have gotten into the habit of telling myself that I do deserve the best. But it is more than a habit now. I know it is true. While I know that I am not perfect, I realize that I have been blessed with many talents. Even better, I have the opportunity to share them with others. I’m pretty special!

Letting Go

I’m not sure if I learned a valuable lesson this week. I guess you could say that I learned it in theory, but I’m not sure if I passed the practical work.

Sometimes in life I just do things because I feel they should be done. Recently I decided to send in an application form to Softball Ontario to have the 1949 Tip Top Tailors softball team inducted into the Softball Canada Hall of Fame.

I was given some contact names, told where to get the nomination forms and instructed to put a package together.

Putting together a portfolio consisting of events that happened almost sixty years ago isn’t easy. I made one trip to Toronto to visit Ray, one of the four remaining players. I also called Babe, who is also in his eighties.

Ray gave me some photos of the team. Babe sent some more photos and some newspaper clippings. The rest of the information came from the archives of the Toronto Star.

When everything was complete, I mailed it to my contact in St. Thomas who was going to present it to Softball Ontario. He received it and had a couple of questions.

Then the lesson started.

I started to fret. Negative thoughts filled my head. I kept going over various scenarios of “what if” and became anxious. One night I woke up at 3 am and sent an email with more information to my contact in St. Thomas.

Then I thought, “This is ridiculous!” And it was. I had done everything I could. My submission was very thorough. It wasn’t in my hands anymore, yet I refused to let go. I was imagining all sorts of problems before any decision was made.

On Saturday night I received an email from the St. Thomas contact. In it he stated that there were seven submissions to recommend to Softball Canada for the Hall of Fame and the one I put in was ranked the number one priority.

I was pleased, of course, but I was also embarrassed. I thought of all the energy I had wasted on something I couldn’t control. I had put myself through a lot of beating up for no reason at all. I had assumed something without giving others the chance to react to my nomination.

Sometimes the more we want something, the more we reach out and try to influence it. While I would have felt an injustice would have been done if this team had been rejected, I have to accept the fact that it is not my decision.

You would think I would learn this, wouldn’t you? It is a hard lesson. As I said, I passed the theory. I understand that what I say is true. It’s the practicum that is the difficult part – actually allowing things to happen that are beyond your control. I should realize that I have better things to spend my energy on than things I can’t change.

As the saying goes, “Lord, allow me to change the things I cannot accept, and to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.” It’s the third part of the equation for which I need a large dose.

The Interview

I recently had an interview for a job. I really want it. If I get it, I believe it will utilize all of the talents I have. I can only wait patiently for now.

I said something talking on the phone that I thought was rather profound and I will share it with you.

You can give up on what is on your mind. You can't give up on what is in your heart.

That is where I am right now. I have matters on my heart that just don't go away. I have a sense of destiny in my life and I believe things happen for a reason.

For example, I want to make a film or a documentary. The dream doesn't go away. If I get this job, it might mean that the opportunity to do this might present itself. However, if I am not chosen for this position, it doesn't mean this matter will disappear.

At times I review these things pressing on my heart. They seem crazy, impossible and illogical, yet they don't go away. They teach me patience. I wait. I have learned in life that everything doesn't depend on me.

For example, I may feel totally qualified for this position. I may be the best candidate by far. Feeling this way is important, but regardless of how I feel, the decision isn't mine to make. I have to accept the fact that others will make the decision. Hopefully I have said all of the right things. Somehow a still, small voice will tell them the name of the person they seek. I really hope it is mine.

Blowin’ in the Wind

Ask people if they believe if we should lessen our oil consumption to reduce the effect of global warming and you usually will get no disagreement.

Two methods often prescribed for generating this power is with solar panels and windmills.

When you suggest putting windmills in somebody’s neighbourhood, that is when something hits the fan figuratively. Out come all the arguments why wind power is great, but not for that area.

Windmills are ugly. They are bad for the birds. They make too much noise. There is more wind in other areas. On and on it goes.

It seems people preach ecology when it is in someone else’s backyard. Threaten their quality of life and they are willing to claw away tooth and nail.

I am hoping that the price of windmills will be reduced along with the size, so I can get a pocket version that will supply the needs for my home

An idea that I have had for generating power is to sell home exercise equipment that provides electricity to charge batteries. This way you can put the energy you expend to good use. It would be a great way to get teens fit. Do they want to run the computer or watch television? Then “on yer bike” and provide the power to do it.

This would be a great incentive to get fit and save money at the same time. It will be particularly useful when we start buying more cars that run on electricity.

The way I see it, if people on bicycles could supply a rock concert’s power on Earth Day, we can do the same for all of our needs. The concept is having a larger version of those cranks on flashlights that don’t use removable batteries.

So it seems as if the answer is not blowing in the wind for some.

Obama’s Prayer Partners

Much ado is being given to the four ministers Barack Obama has chosen for his inauguration.

Most of the attention is being given to Rick Warren, an evangelical who is opposed to gay marriage and abortion. This has upset gay rights activists.

Also playing a prominent role is Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson, the first openly gay bishop in the Anglican Communion. Many evangelical Christians are not happy with this.

Add to the mix, Reverend Sharon Watkins and Reverend Joseph Lowery. I’m sure somebody’s not happy with them.

Of course the atheists are not happy with any of them. They will start chanting their mantra of not mixing church and state, even though the right for religious freedom is in the constitution.

Robinson has gone so far as stating that the selection of Warren is “a slap in the face.” Well, Gene, you know what the Bible says about turning the other cheek.

First, this is Obama’s inauguration. He is the president. Let him plan his own party.

Second, he is trying to unify the country by being inclusive. I’m sure all four ministers have differing views on several topics. Guess what? You are probably not going to change any of their viewpoints. The message I think that is being given is all will be welcomed by this administration, much the way religious freedom is guaranteed in the constitution of the United States.

Finally, get over it. If you don’t like Obama’s choices, then get elected yourself and see if you can do any better at keeping everyone happy. America has quite a few more problems right now than the choice of ministers at an inauguration.

Responsible Drinking

Four young people were drinking in a club in Port Carling on July 3, 2008. A few hours later, three of them were killed in an auto accident.

This January, thirty-four charges were laid against the club, its employees and club directors. The club apparently permitted drunkenness on its premises and supplied liquor to intoxicated persons.

While I regret that three people died, I have some questions.

Is it always easy to tell if somebody is drunk? Sure, if somebody is plastered, it is obvious. But visually, especially if a bar is dark, how easy is it to tell? Sometimes you don’t notice until the person is drunk and by that time it is too late.

It didn’t say if the four were drinking beer. If they were, did they order it by the bottle or the pitcher? If they drank pitchers, it is difficult to monitor who is drinking what.

Were all four intoxicated? If not, how would the bartender know which one would be driving? It is not uncommon in Canada for a group to go out drinking with one being the designated driver. When this is the case, do most clubs allow the remaining people to get a bit tipsy, knowing that the sober driver will get them home safely?

How many functions have people getting drunk? Think of the weddings you have attended. How about news conferences or the office Christmas party? Teenagers like to brag about getting pie-eyed at their graduation party. If we tolerate these kinds of activities, how is this any different?

Here are my main questions. Who is ultimately responsible for drinking too much? Do not the four young people bear the majority of the responsibility in this situation? Were they not intelligent enough to know that drinking too much alcohol could cause an automobile accident and death? Why did they drink too much? Were they not mature enough to realize that the driver had had a bit too much or should have stopped drinking before he was inebriated? One person made the decision to get behind the wheel and drive. Three others decided to let that person drive. How can these four make a poor value judgment and not be held responsible while employees, who are also serving other customers, are?

The police say that alcohol and speeding were both responsible for the death. How do we know how much speeding was responsible? Perhaps the driver would have driven too fast regardless of the alcohol.

The sad part is that the lives of the four people in the car were changed forever. Three died and the fourth has to live with the memory of the accident because of a bad decision they made. Unfortunately, sixteen others, some who were not even there when the drinking took place, now have to bear the brunt of four young people not drinking responsibly.

Yes, people working in bars need to be prudent when serving alcohol, but ultimately it is the people drinking it who have to be responsible for what happens. If you aren’t disciplined or adult enough to control your drinking, then you shouldn’t be drinking at all. I say this not only for the safety of the person drinking, but on the potential damage he might inflict on innocent others when he smashes into another car.

The Meeting House

Bruxy Cavey wrote a book called The End of Religion. He is also the teaching pastor of The Meeting House, a church that states it is for “people who aren’t into church”.

The Meeting House is in an old cinema in Oakville, but it is a church with a difference.

Using modern technology, the service is simulcast to home churches dotted all over Ontario.

Watch a podcast and the first sign that something is different is the start. Gone are the traditional hymn to start a service. It reminds you of the CBC’s The Hour. Usually some pretty raunchy music is played under some quotes from various people, some who may not even be Christian, that relate to the topic of the day. This goes on for three or four minutes.

Finally you get to meet Bruxy Cavey. He is definitely not like your ordinary televangelist. Well, in one way he is like some of them. He is hefty. You definitely wouldn’t call him slick, though. The first word that jumps into my mind is scruffy, but am I being too judgmental? I wonder if Bruxy really dresses like that all the time, giving the appearance that he doesn’t really care how he looks, or is he trying to look like a revolutionary so he can appeal to those who aren’t into church? Does he ever get dressed up in what we used to call our Sunday clothes for a special occasion? Regardless of the motive, it is working. The Meeting House is growing by leaps and bounds.

Whether you agree with him or not, Cavey is a gifted speaker. His messages are well researched and easy to follow.

At the end of the message, some time is spent answering questions from the audience and those sent in by text messaging.

But don’t just read what I am saying, check it out for yourself. I am being too brief here because I have to get up early tomorrow. Go the website for The Meeting House. While you are there, you might want to download one of the podcasts. You really won't get the idea of what the experience is all about until you do that.

Rioting

The more I learn about the human race, the more I don’t understand why it is so stupid.

From time to time the people we ask to uphold the laws, the police, make a mistake costing the life of an innocent victim.

I’m not saying that they should not be accountable, but what would you do if somebody quickly turned around and drew something that you had to make a decision in a split second of what to do? How would you respond if the wrong decision would cost you your life? Might you lean towards action that would favour saving your life?

There have been occasions where the officers have gone too far, and they should bear the consequences.

What I don’t understand is when a mortal mistake is made why mobs start rioting. I have no problems with people protesting, but burning the cars of more innocent people and looting stores seems to indicate to me that the bad guys are just looking for an excuse to let loose.

If Gandhi could free India from British rule peacefully, then it is possible to make your point without violence. If Martin Luther King worked on racial freedom without resorting to anarchy, then why is it impossible for others?

It’s funny, but when I see a mob wrecking a shopkeepers store and burning somebody’s car, my thoughts don’t turn to the person who was killed. I think of those poor people who have to suffer the brunt of angry people who don’t know how to protest constructively.

Yes, I am saddened when somebody is killed unjustly. I am saddened even more when people feel that the way to honour this victim is to riot in the streets.

Messages from Heaven

Sid Currie started it. He was an assistant pastor at a church we attended in Ottawa. He talked in a sermon of reminders he felt he received from God that he was loved and that something special was going to happen. The sign was seeing a yellow Volkswagen Beetle.

You may have something you do as a harbinger of good things. For Marie, it is seeing a hawk. This is pretty good for her. Since we moved down to St. Marys, there are a lot of them prowling the farmers’ fields.

Seeing yellow Volkswagens are reasonably difficult. I think hawks are rather easy.

What I look for is much, much more unlikely. I look for my initials on licence plates. If I see a J, V and an S on a plate and I go, “Hmmmm!” If they are in the order JVS, which stands for John Victor Stevens, then I figure I am being blessed greatly.

It may sound a bit wacky, looking for signs from God, but when it happens, it certainly brightens my day. It’s got to be better than superstitions. At least I am not walking around doing things that I feel I must do to be lucky. These things just happen on the spur of a moment.

Looking for my initials can certainly pass time on a long trip. It makes me pay close attention to the cars around me, too.

So next time you see a licence plate with JVS on it, think of me. By the way, I don’t have a personalized plate with JVS on it.

Selling False Hopes

I subscribe to something called Insight of the Day. I usually love the positive message I get first thing in the morning. An inspiring message starts the day off right. Today was an exception.

It starts with "Mick Jagger sang, ‘You CAN'T always get what you want!’ He was wrong!" Clicking on a hyperlink takes you to the comments written by the author, someone who has written a “best-selling” book.

The article encourages you to invest in spending some time and money at a “week-long mastermind and brainstorming session with a small group of people” led by another guru.

In the end, you are told to forget what the Rolling Stones sing and that you CAN always get what you want.

What a crock! Life isn’t like that at all. What upsets me is that this guy is selling a lot of false hope to people.

I know lots of kids who want to be NHL hockey players. Many men would want a date with Pamela Anderson or Jennifer Anniston. How about Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp for the women? What I want is to play professional baseball and win the World Series.

Guess what? A lot of us are not going to get what we want. Just visioning something doesn’t mean that you will get it. Sometimes the decision doesn’t totally depend on us.

Life is full of people who are promising you the world in order to line their pockets with money. Do you think if they told you the truth – that if you keep trying eventually some dreams will come true – many people would attend their seminars?

It’s like the evangelist who preaches that God wants to make you wealthy. People often flock to these churches with the promise of prosperity. If God wants to make all believers wealthy, why are there so many poor Christians in Third World Countries? The only ones I see getting really wealthy are the evangelists. Often they prey upon the gullible so they can get rich.

I’m not suggesting that you give up on your dreams. You should never do that. What I am saying is that you shouldn’t be fooled by people giving you false hope that you can do anything, and when I say anything, I mean anything. An egg can’t fly until it grows into a bird.

While you are at it, listen to what the Rolling Stones say in their song. While a lot of the lyrics are a bit of a mystery to me, read these lines.
You can't always get what you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you need

And if you try, sometime you find you get what you need. Now that makes a lot of sense. Maybe that’s why Mick is now Sir Mick.

Erma Bombeck

Sometimes people say it better than I can.

Here is an example from Erma Bombeck.

Erma Bombeck's words.

Some quotes from Erma Bombeck (Sorry if the ad to the left is for Meeting Married Women).

It was interesting, when doing research on this entry, the discrepancies I found from site to site. For example, the quote at the end of the first hyperlink appears not to have been a part of the message "If I Had My Life To Live Over". It is something she said or wrote on another occasion. Also, many tribute pages said that she died of cancer, which is not true. She died from complications from an unsuccessful kidney transplant. This goes to show that just because it is on the Internet doesn't mean that it is true (including my stuff).

Finally, a Johnny V. thought. I often say that life is like a sponge. You spend a lot of time soaking things up, but when I die I would like to say that I was able to squeeze every last drop out of that sponge.

The Eagles

Are you a fan of The Eagles? I would certainly enjoy going to one of their concerts, but I will never buy a ticket from Ticketmaster again.

You can try this on your own. Here is what I did.
1. I picked a city where The Eagles will be putting on a concert. I chose Saskatoon.
2. I tried to purchase one ticket at any price in the best possible seat in the best possible location. In other words, find me any seat.

The result was that there were no seats left.

Had I been successful, I would have been paying $199.50, $159.50 or $99.50 for my ticket.

So I hopped over on the Internet to a company called TicketsNow. Guess what? It had tickets for this concert. However, if you want to go, get out your wallet. The cheapest ticket is $241 and the most expensive $588.

When the tickets go online, TicketsNow seems to be able to scoop up a good number of tickets, even though there is usually a maximum number you can buy at one time.

If I buy a ticket from a guy on the street for more than it’s value, it’s called scalping, which is illegal in Ontario, although it is rarely enforced. If I buy a ticket from TicketsNow, it is not considered scalping, even though I will probably be paying more than double the ticket value.

But here is the kicker. TicketsNow is a Ticketmaster company. Don’t believe me? Go to the TicketsNow website. It is there for all to see. Ticketmaster is allowing its own company to buy tickets so it can rip you off. One of the excuses it uses is that it wants to make sure that the true fan has access to attending a concert. Right! Those Ticketmaster people are really nice, always thinking of loyal Eagles fans.

This activity should be filed under the category of “there should be a law against it.”

The second question I ask is to the artists themselves. Are they aware this is going on? Do they care that somebody is charging more than the face value for their tickets? No wonder concert ticket prices keep going up and up. If The Eagles realize that people are willing to pay over $500 to attend one of their concerts, then they will have no problem asking for more next time.

.
In 1964, I could have seen The Beatles at Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto for $5.50 for the best seats in the house. Compare that with seeing The Eagles in Saskatoon through TicketsNow.

While not illegal, it is just not right. As I said, I will never use Ticketmaster again.

The Big Difference Was Small

I just finished watching Canada win its fifth straight junior hockey championship. The team played a great game and deserved to win.

In the game prior to the final, Canada faced Russia and was trailing by one goal late in the game. The Canucks tied the game with 5.4 seconds remaining in the third period. Those 5.4 seconds separated them from having all of their dreams dashed and reaching for the prize. It wasn’t over then, either. It took a goal in a shoot-out to claim the victory.

That’s what I like about sports. They teach you that you will never know what might happen and that is why you should never give up.

You may be feeling the same way about your life. Remember, if there are 5.4 seconds left, victory is still possible. It only takes one ray of sunshine to break through the darkness. No matter what happens, keep giving it your best shot.

Keep Shaking

We change. Life goes on. New challenges face us.

Quite often when change happens, our lives are shaken up. Our habits change. New thought patterns emerge. We have to work at improving the way we do things.

Like one of those ornaments with snow in them, if you don’t keep shaking them, the snow eventually settles and you are back to where it started.

The weight I have lost is a good example. I now weigh about forty pounds less than I did three months ago. My goal is to lose another ten or twenty, which will bring me to an ideal weight for my age.

Having met my initial goal, I could easily be content with that. Even worse, I could go back to the eating habits that put on the weight in the first place. I know this is totally possible because I have rationalized that I have deserved to have that little bit extra for Christmas. Fortunately, going for workouts at the YMCA more regularly has kept the weight from creeping back.

But taking this weight off, keeping it off and losing a bit more means that I have to change my lifestyle. I must keep on shaking the little globe or I will fall into those comfortable patterns from the past.

This image of having to completely shaking the globe can be applied to other areas of my life. If I keep on doing the same-old, same-old, I am going to get the same old results. Yes, it’s very satisfying having a whole dessert instead of a little taste, but it is also more satisfying feeling better about myself. The choice is mine.

The same goes with relationships. I can continue to do the things that make it blah or I can initiate new ideas, shake it up and watch the snow fly. Again, the temptation is there to stop shaking the globe (old habits are so comfortable) and I can be right back where I started.

So, do you want a better life? Then start shaking what you do and don't give up.