Susan Boyle

Imagine the Miss Universe Pageant. The contestants parade onto the stage in their evening gowns. Suddenly one of the judges feels that one of the girls is not dressed in the proper attire and asks if she has something else. She instantly says she has and goes backstage and just as quickly emerges in another costume, much to the approval of everyone.

What would you say if this happened? Now watch this.

Shaheen's performance

In this clip you will see the latest sensation on Britain's Got Talent, Shaheen Jafargholi, sing a song. The crowd and two of the judges seem to appreciate his offering. Simon does not. He stops the kid, tells him he has it all wrong, and asks if he has anything else. He replies that he has and instantly belts out another tune.

What's happening here? Here are my thoughts.

This was planned. The kid would have probably made it through this round with his original performance. Why would a judge force somebody to change? This is supposed to be a competion. Look at the lack of emotion on Shaheen when he is told to stop. Listen to how quickly the second song is ready to roll. Am I the only one who is suspicious? I don't think so.

Then why did the producers of the show plan this? My answer is money and power. The success of Susan Boyle the previous week was phenomenal, one could even say astronomical. Unfortunately, this was not good for the future of the show. An outpouring of this proportion amounts to a crowning of the winner early on in the game unless .... another challenger can be found.

That is exactly what happened through the magic of television. Jafargholi overcame the power of the evil Simon to win everyone over and create the controversy of who is the better talent.

Richard Ouzounian of the Toronto Star enters the debate with the suggestion to shut your eyes and listen to Susan Boyle and you will discover that her voice sounds the same on the two songs you can find on YouTube. That is why she is destined to lose the competition. Nice try, Richard. Your logic doesn't convince me. I could do this with Celine Dion or Shania Twain or Faith Hill. Many of their songs sound the same. Why? Unless you are an impersonator, you are born with one voice.

However, I do agree with Ouzounian that Sarah Boyle may well lose. Why? Just like Hollywood will often plan different endings for movies and select the one based on controlled screening approvals, my guess is that the producers of Britain's Got Talent will do the same. What ending will create the most controversy? Which one will give it the highest ratings and generate the most media coverage? They are well on their way to achieving that already. What concerns me is that few seem to care about or understand this manipulation.

Have you ever wondered why on Survivor, for example, why it only takes a majority to get somebody off the island, but it always seems to come down to a final vote? My logic tells me that once in awhile the result should be determined early on in the game, just like if you roll the dice often enough, you will consecutively roll numbers under seven several times in a row. Then why do they do this? For the same reason you have to wait to see who is eliminated on Dancing with the Stars. It heightens the emotion and boosts ratings - artificially. You are not being told the whole truth.

Having seen the Shaheen clip on Britain's Got Talent, it makes me wonder how much Susan Boyle's performance was manipulated to create the desired effect.

Both Susan and Shaheen have great talent. They deserve all the accolades they earn. It is a pity when third parties sully the competition for motives that may, indeed, help both of them, but are designed, in my opinion, to line the pockets of the people producing the show.

Dominoes

A friend asked me today how it was going. It’s a question that is often asked and the reply is usually as automatic as the request. Today was different.

Rather than just mutter, “OK,” or “Great,” I felt a bit more philosophical. Let’s face it. Most days are pretty normal. I certainly don’t experience fireworks every day. My guess is that you don’t either.

If you have been reading my blog on a regular basis, you know that I am an occasional teacher. I fill in for others when they have a day off. Some days are fantastic; the odd one is not so great. A lot has to do with my attitude in front of the students. However, what has happened in the lives of the more than twenty faces in front of me can make a difference in the experience. It only takes one person to announce that he has peed in the pool to empty it. Sometimes that happens.

As mundane as each day is, I have recently looked at things differently. I love imagery and this one has helped me realize how even the ordinary days can be special.

My reply to my friend that my life recently has been filled with days where I feel I have been like the people who set up dominoes in a pattern. I am not wasting my time at all. What I am doing is building the complex design, placing the small rectangles, one by one, in the proper configuration to start a wonderful chain reaction. One day the first domino will topple and crash into the next, starting the whole process. It will all unfold the way it was supposed to happen.

The important part is that I am faithfully placing the dominoes in place. Sure, the process is tedious. It may be boring. There may be times when I want to give up. I could do that – give up. The result would be a lot less spectacular.

I just keep laying them down, waiting for that day, and having the faith that it will come.

It Tastes Funny

Ask people to name a type of national cooking and Italian will be close to the top every time. There’s a good reason. It tastes great.

When I was in Italy a couple of years ago, I didn’t feel I had very many delectable meals. Not very much was appealing to my palate. Don’t blame the chefs. It wasn’t their fault. My taster was off.

Blame it on pain and drugs! We went to Italy prior to my hip-replacement surgery. The discomfort was so great that I was on Oxycontin, a narcotic to take it away. When I felt sore, I really couldn’t concentrate on the quality of a meal. If I took the drugs, it sort of made everything a blur and definitely lessened the enjoyment of food. The only things I really savoured were gelato (Italian ice cream) and wine.

Regardless, the trip was a great success and I look back on it fondly.

A few months later I had my hip surgery, which turned out to be a success. I get around quite well without pain and can participate in many of the activities I enjoyed before.

There are times in my life and others where our taste for living doesn’t have the same gusto either. Often something has caused pain or we are masking our day-to-day existence with some activity or practice to help us forget.

I think of this sometimes when I encounter other people. Their actions or attitude may not be exactly what I would like to encounter. Rather than merely react in a negative way, I try to see if I can take away some of the pain or cause of the bitterness. Sometimes I succeed.

In a similar way, I hope that people realize that I may not act in the most appropriate way all of the time either.

Why is such an important question? I could have departed Italy thinking what people think about the food is grossly exaggerated. Knowing why I thought this helped me come to opinion that the problem wasn’t the food.

Asking why people behave the way they do and say what they say is equally important. Sometimes the answer is not so obvious, but it is worth a try.

Proof The World is Crazy

They say we are losing the war on drugs. No wonder! When you take away all of the amunition, it is difficult to win any war.

Recently a man was foud unconscious behind the wheel of his car at an intersection. While searching the Jeep Cherokee for any clues why this might have happened, the police came across crack cocaine. In case you don't know, this drug is illegal.

Well, it seems as if finding the cocaine in this manner has breached the man's constitutional rights. Why are we protecting the criminals? When I cross the border, customs officers can check my car for drugs. What's the difference? I can understand why our police officers sometimes get pretty frustrated with the legal system. They do their best to make our society safer, yet they have to put up with decisions like this. It is as if they are made to look like the bad guy, not the person who is in possession of an illegal drug.

I wonder what the response of the judge would have been if the police officer had found explosives instead of drugs. Perhaps many innocent people could have been killed without the discovery, but that doesn't matter. It is more important for the criminal to be protected. When are we going to get it right? The answer seems to be never. Read on.

A man has a gambling problem. He has joined a self-exclusion program that allows gamblers to sign a form granting casinos and racetrack staff to use their best efforts to bar or remove them if they are caught inside. Well, it seems as if they didn't catch this man and he blew about $350,000 in a four-year period.

Who's fault is this? Apparently it is the Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation's. This man is suing them for - get this - $3.5 BILLION! I think Dennis, the name of this person, has another problem. It is called lack of taking responsibility for his own actions.

I have not led a perfect life. I have made mistakes. I have dealt with them and tried my best to correct them. The only way I could have grown through these episodes is admitting to them. As long as I am in denial of my part in the process and claiming resposibility for my actions, I am powerless.

I wonder what Dennis will do if he wins his $3.5 billion? Probably go put some money on the horses. And why not? He will have won his jackpot and his luck will be on a roll.

Facebook, again!

I really wonder about Facebook, and let's not talk about Twitter. I visit my page once a day and most of the things I read could fall into the category of interest on my part as if somebody announced, "I farted." In fact, "I farted" would generate more interest, since the consequences of ignoring this message could prove fatal.

My major concern is that people are spending time in relationships that are not face to face. I feel we are trying to replace quality with quantity. If I can get many quick hits from my squad of "friends", then this will make up for the lack of time I spend with the few very close people in my life.

Yes, I love to hear what is happening to people, but I would far rather have a phone call or a visit once a year or every six months than reading much of the mundane, everyday stuff that I see on Facebook. The way I see it, I don't have to look at the lives of others to realize that life can be pretty ordinary at times. I have a life of my own to do that. Anyway, I would rather spend my time working on turning the ordinary into the extraordinary than reading information that has little impact on my life.

I often wonder if people use Facebook and Twitter so they can appear to be part of the cybercrowd. They will feel that they are being left behind technologically and feel like a dinosaur in today's world, somehow not hip and with it. There seems to be a pressure to be friends with the world.

I will still check in, though, to my Facebook account now and again. However, if somebody wants to go out for coffee or dinner and spend a few hours of quality time discussing face to face, looking into each other's eyes instead of a computer screen, let me know.

Facebook

"Hi John .... long time since the Haig." That's what the message said. It was somebody asking me on Facebook to be added as a friend. My reply went something like this, "I'm not trying to be unfriendly, but I seem to forget who you are. How do you know me?" She replied that she really didn't know me, but since we both went to the same high school, she thought I might add her as a friend.

Don't you just love Facebook? It can really put you on the spot. Once in awhile, you are put on the spot when somebody asks you to be a friend and you don't know what to do.

As far as I can understand there are only a few reasons why I wouldn't add her as my friend.

First, I don't really consider her to be a friend, thus I feel I am under no obligation to add her. This is exactly how I feel about the request I just had. I have no idea who this woman is, so I have no intention of adding her as my friend. She admits that she really doesn't know me. She could have lied and told me that she used to admire me from afar many years ago, but, no, she was honest (which was appreciated) and confessed that I was only a name in a list of people who attended Earl Haig Secondary School in Willowdale.

Also, I could just forget to add her as a friend. It could completely slip my mind. I don't think I can do it with this former graduate of my high school. I have sent her two or three messages asking for clarification. There will be no doubt in her mind that not accepting her offer of friendship is not due to forgetfulness.

Reason number three is that I have some pretty important people on my list. For example, if the Prime Minister of Canada was on my list, I would be hesitant to have many others on my list of friends. Mind you, I could create an alternate identity for one set of friends and another for people like the Prime Minister, couldn't I? However, if she is a really good friend, can't she be trusted not to bother these people? Anyway, do I really want to go to all the effort of having two identities? I'm having enough trouble leading one life, let alone two.

The next two reasons are painful. Four is that I don't want anyone to know that she is my friend. Ouch! If that is the case, then I am not really a friend. I want to show my friends off to the world, not hide them. Hidden friends are only friends of convenience. In my books, they are being used.

Finally, the only other reason I would reject people is that I wouldn't want them to see my friends. It reminds me of George in Seinfeld when he doesn't want his girlfriend to meet his other friends. He doesn't want his two worlds to collide. Again, if people are my friends, they are my friends. And all of my friends can meet my other friends. It is as simple as that for me.

Even so, I have come close to adding this person as a friend, even though I don't have the foggiest idea who she is. The social pressure Facebook puts on me is pretty great. But I guess I have one other reason to ignore her request. Really, do you think she is interested in reading all sorts of stuff about somebody she really doesn't know? I would prefer that she spends her time developing relationships with those close to her, not somebody she has never met.

In spite of all these pressures, there is one thing I do like about Facebook. It can help you get in touch with people you have somehow lost. I reunited with a great friend of mine, Birnie. In fact, if you ever read The Corsage in my blog, he is the one who set me up on a blind date. He also helped me through a difficult time in my life. And, yes, I asked him to be my friend and he accepted. Of course he did. He was a friend and always will be.

Who's to Blame?

I was reading in the Toronto Star about a man who is suing Canada's federal government because he believes that it should have screened his wife for the HIV virus when she immigrated from Hong Kong.

The man has been infected and his wife was convicted for aggavated assualt and criminal negligence causing bodily harm in 2007. She is appealing this conviction.

He is going after $33 million in his civil lawsuit.

If he wins the case, this will go down in my books as equal to the money doled out to the person who spilled hot coffee on himself. Here's why.

This guy didn't marry a shy, oriental girl. This Thai woman was a former dancer at the Zanzibar club on Yonge Street in Toronto. In case you don't know, the Zanzibar has been a strip joint for years. Shouldn't that have been a red flag that this man should get his future wife checked out thoroughly before he got married?

If a couple considering matrimony really loves each other, there should be nothing wrong for both of them to consent to a medical examination for all sorts of things with full disclosure of the result to the other.

Maybe I don't have all of the facts, but for this man to blame the government for his mistake is shifting the blame too much. He made a big mistake. He has AIDs, and I am sorry that he is in this position. It's time he realizes that he has to live with his bad decision and quit blaming others. Where did all of his responsibility go in this case? Perhaps his marrying this girl shows that love is blind. It also seems that his anger is showing equal blindness to the role he played in all of this.

San Gimignano

When we went to Tuscany, we stayed in an apartment in a vineyard. It's called agritourism, which means that you stay on a farm. We woke up in the mornings to find the valley clothed in fog and the sun burning it away like somebody pulling back the covers when he awakes. In each direction we looked there were spectacular views, but not as nice as the town of San Gimgnano in the distance. Below is the view from our front yard.

During the height of the tourist season, I imagine that it is clogged with people. We were there before the onslaught and found it charming.

While I live in a wonderful place, I long to get back to Europe.

Bonuses

Tell me if I have it wrong. If I don’t understand, please explain to me as well where I have it wrong.

On the television show, Wheel of Fortune, there is a bonus round. In order to get to it, you have to win the regular competition against two other opponents. Every quiz program I have watched in my life is like this.

Then why, oh why, are the executives of companies that are being bailed out by governments still receiving their bonuses? Isn’t a bonus supposed to be a reward for doing something right? They have driven their operations, often irresponsibly, into difficult times. The way I figure, I could have done the same quite nicely at half the salary. I also wouldn’t have expected a bonus.

Isn’t that the way we are today, though? We are so afraid of messing up somebody’s mind psychologically. We pretend somebody is doing well when he isn’t. Our education system certainly reflects this. Nobody has to repeat a grade anymore. The result is some students don’t exert any effort because there are no consequences for failing.

I have fallen on my face many times in life. I have also learned a great deal from each episode. While there may have been some scars along the way, I prefer to look at them as battle wounds – memories of lessons learned. Yes, I would have preferred to have not screwed up from time to time. I can still look at my life with pride and say that each time I have picked myself up and have grown from the experience.

What I would never expect when I make a big mistake is to be rewarded for it. That would be a big joke. It would also make me wonder if I might be even better off making more gaffes with even greater compensation.

I almost feel guilty writing today’s blog. It really isn’t that clever. I’m not really saying very much that many others aren’t thinking. My hope is that those who are receiving these bonuses for failure have some sort of a conscience and won’t accept the money. Somehow I doubt it. That’s sad, but it is a good commentary on life today. We have become such a tolerant society. We even tolerate the rich getting richer while the poor get poorer.

The Warm Morning Sunshine

I woke up this morning with a tune in my head. I quickly scrambled down to my computer and put the notes on a software to compose music that I recently downloaded. Just to make sure that it stuck in my mind, I quickly jotted down some lyrics to help me remember. Perhaps being so close to St. Patrick's Day, it has an Irish melody. I hope you enjoy it.

In the warm morning sunrise
I look into your eyes
And I see all the glory
That greets the new day
It’s a memory that haunts me
But it never will daunt me
Cause I know that my true love
Will not go away

Though the cold wind may blow
And the rain turns to snow
In my memory will always remain
Of a new day that’s growing
And the hope in the knowing
That your love will erase all my pain

Our mistakes are behind us
Though they may still remind us
That we stumble and fall
Along life’s rocky way
But as long as we get up
We never will let up
We will cherish each moment
As we face each new day

I may add to it later on, so stay tuned.

Another Milestone

It's great when you set a goal and reach it. Today has been that kind of day. Mind you it has taken two days of not being able to keep much food inside my body to achieve it, but I have still made it.

I stood on the scale today and for the first time since 1979 I have weighed 180 pounds. My goal is to lose 10 more pounds, hopefully without getting sick, and get down to the weight I was when I was twenty-six years old, 170 pounds. And to think I was 228 pounds. That's almost 50 pounds. Can you imagine carrying around an extra 50 pounds of weight every day?

Aside from being healthier and in better physical shape, it has its emotional effects, too. I know that I look better than I have for a long time. It's not that I looked so terrible before - at least, I hope not - it's just that my body is more attractive to look at. And it really isn't that important how others look at me, it's how I look at myself that counts. I feel more positive. It's that simple.

The only disadvantage is that I have many baggy clothes right now. Fortunately, I like a loose fit. However, I need to visit a used clothing depot soon. I can't afford to buy all new stuff right now.

Maybe now is the time to contact one of those makeover shows.

I am sick

It's the first weekend of March break and I am sick. I didn't plan it that way,but I woke up Saturday morning looking down the toilet, if you know what I mean. I have spent most of the weekend resting and not eating much. I have been trying to purge myself of whatever is in my by any means possible. Again, I leave this up to your imagination.

Usually I am in good health, but once a year it seems I catch something. Considering I am near 200 different people in a week as an occasional teacher, that seems pretty fair. This past week, though, I was teaching music. I had over 100 students every day, so the chances of catching something are increased.

As crummy as I feel, it is still comforting to know that in a few days I will be feeling much better. I'll talk to you then.

Raccoon

Failing As Me

As I look back on my life so far, I see a lot of success. I am proud of many things I have attained.

There are also times when I have failed miserably. I have made wrong choices. I could have chosen words better. I have treated people poorly. I have behaved badly.

But I have grown. A few thoughts have helped me get through it all.

First, it has almost always not been my intent to make the mistake. I haven’t gone out purposely to try to blow it.

Second, I don’t think I have done anything that many people haven’t done. I’m not the only one in the world who has hurt somebody with unkind words. Haven’t others made bad decisions or am I all alone here?

Finally, in almost all cases I have acted genuinely. I have been true to myself, even though it may have resulted in my falling flat on my face. Let me explain.

I decided long ago that if I am going to fail, I am going to fail, not some other guy pretending to be me. You see, I can correct mistakes that I make. I can’t correct the mistakes that an imposter in my body makes.

An example is my job as an occasional teacher. When I first started, I tried to be what I thought what a teacher should be. I observed others and tried to imitate them. I failed miserably, but I didn’t know what to do to improve.

One day, I decided to just be me. I flopped just as much, but this time I could go back to the drawing board and try to figure out what I could do to improve, something I couldn’t do for my pretend teacher. Slowly I got better and better. Sure, my style could be described as unorthodox and even quirky, but it works for me and the students seem to enjoy it.

Another advantage of being genuine has been the growth of my ability to forgive. Although it has been a hard process, I have learned to forgive myself for my mistakes. I can’t forgive that other guy I’m not, because I’m not really sure who he is. If I can forgive myself, the real me, it becomes that much easier to forgive others. Why? Why not? Should I treat others any different than I treat myself?

The Sari Shop

When I was in India, I came upon this sari shop. I was impressed with the vibrant colours. The result is this photo.

Water and Words

Water is necessary in this world for life. Some living creatures need more than others, but it is the basis of all life as far as I know. No water, no life. It’s as simple as that.

Words are a bit like water. They can be sprinkled generously on a parched soul. They can also be applied too greatly and drown somebody. Like hail, they can destroy another’s ego in seconds. The cold blast of snow in the winter can freeze all life until spring turns again.

Isn’t the drip, drip, drip of a leaky faucet one of the most annoying sounds on earth? As well as the sound it makes, it eventually corrodes the sink. Are your words a welcome delight to the ears of others or do they grate on their nerves?

How many of us have seen how the crashing waves have sculpted the hardest rock over time?

Unless applied in the correct measure and warmed in love, the effect of words, like water, can be devastating and permanent. Unfortunately, like water, they flow so easily and once released, can’t be taken back. How many reputations have been ruined by a poorly-chosen phrase at the wrong moment?

If we are honest, we all can think of circumstances when our words have encouraged somebody’s spirit. Our words have also left a path of destruction.

I like to think of myself as a work in progress. While my tongue still gets me in trouble from time to time, I hope I am getting better. My desire is that my words become a source of nourishment and life to others. I want them to help love grow.

Fortunately, putting my foot in my mouth has allowed me to forgive others when they slip up. Hopefully, they can forgive my shortcomings, too.

The Chinese Man

I don't know what it is, but I feel that Chinese people enjoy being photographed. I have never tried to take a picture of somebody and have them reject me.

Well, there was one time. I tried to take a photo of a man making noodles that were sort of like spaghetti. Over here pasta is rolled in a special machine. In China, the chefs, like magicians, take the dough and in seconds waive their fingers in the air and make it into strands. It happens so fast. I really can't put the process into words. When I tried to take a photograph of somebody doing this, the man refused to let me do it. I guess he though I was trying to get his secret.

Other than this instance, the Chinese have always been willing to pose. The photo below is an example. I didn't know this man and he didn't speak any English, yet he let me take his photograph. He looks so relaxed and peaceful.

The River

Living beside a river sometimes yields some spectacular view. I especially like it when the water is like a mirror. The placidness reflects the beauty of the surroundings. Below are two examples of what I mean.





There are times in my life when I felt this same calmness and all of the joy surrounding you is reflected. Maybe it's time I appreciated these moments more. Maybe it's time to create those moments of calmness so I can reflect the beauty around me more.

Frozen in Time

While I was in Italy, I saw these women creating a window display in an art shop. I like the way that one of them seemed frozen in space leaning against the window. The other reminds me of some of the women in the artwork they are displaying.

Commitment

I remember the NHL draft when the Quebec Nordiques selected Eric Lindros. While he was picked first overall, he made it very clear that he wasn’t going to play for that team with one gesture. It is traditional that a player is presented with a sweater and he puts it on. Lindros was given one, but he refused to wear it.

It all comes down to commitment. Think of the things you are committed to in your life. Just how strong are you linked to them? Have you put on the sweater figuratively for them? If you haven’t then you are only going through the motions. Your feelings aren’t strong enough to be identified with them.

How close are you to your family, for example? Are you wearing the colours proudly or are you living your own existence independently?

Are you waving the flag for the company you work for or are you merely picking up your pay every two weeks?

No matter what you do, you have the choice of merely going through the motions or putting your heart in it. The difference in it all is commitment.