A Tale of Two Men

They are two very different men. I know them very well.

One is negative. He doesn’t say much good about St. Marys. He points out everything he feels is wrong with the place. He finds fault with others and criticizes their performance when he needs to look at himself in the mirror.
The other man sees the great potential of our town. He suggests improvements. He encourages others to do the same. He lends a hand to those in need.

One says unkind things that can be quite hurtful, based on opinion, and not entirely true. He is an expert at raising doubts about peoples’ motivations.

The other says positive things about people. He figures life is tough enough. He would rather try to lift others up than tear them down. He seeks ways of enabling people to perform better, usually through a kind comment.

One doesn’t go to the source to find out the facts. His opinion is based on personal observation. He feels he has the right to say anything, even when it may be horribly wrong.

The other verifies with the source to find out if something is true. He investigates all the facts before coming to a conclusion rather than relying on gossip.

If you get on the wrong side of the first person, he may shun you or judge you without talking to you. If you disagree with him, he often doesn’t want to resolve the problem. He would rather hold on to the grudge indefinitely. He might even try to get back at you.

The second feels life is too short for grudges. The best way to conquer an enemy is to make him your friend. Conflicts are resolved through understanding and love. He treats people with dignity and respect. While difficult to do, he sees this as the only hope for this world. Trying to get back at somebody wastes energy on negative things that could be used positively.

One says things that divide people; the other tries to unite them.

One feels he is right; the other is more concerned about doing right. He seeks advice and input from others, willing to listen to them, and accepting that it might be different than his.

One is a bully trying to push people around. The other leads through example and encouragement.

I like one of these persons. I don’t like the other one at all. Many I know feel the same way.

Who do you think these two people are?

Both of them are me! Might they also describe you at times?

I can be the one I don’t like. If things don’t go my way, it is often easier to complain than do something about it. Sometimes I don’t feel positive about myself, and I find everything wrong with the world instead of me. When I get into this funk, people don’t like being around me. Heck, I don’t even like being around this person.

What do I do to be the positive me? Every morning when I wake up, I ask myself who I want to be. Do I want to make this world a better place or do I want to merely point out its imperfections? Do I want to be a positive influence or a negative one? Do I want to inspire people or drag them down to my level?

Sure, we must speak out against injustice and stand up for what we believe in. However, the way we achieve this is important. We need to resolve problems, not try to hammer the other person into submission. If we have differences, we should keep the channels of communication open to allow for understanding.

Yes, I have been the negative man in this article. If this part of me has hurt or offended you in any way, I apologize. Let’s talk it over and restore our relationship. I am often reminded that I am not perfect. Hopefully you can accept this and forgive me.

I remind myself of the saying, “If you point your finger at someone, there are three more fingers pointing back at you.” I would rather extend the hand of friendship than point the finger of condemnation.

Yes, every day we have the choice of having character rather than merely being one.

Being the World’s Greatest Lover

I am trying to be one of the world’s greatest lovers. Don’t laugh too hard. When I say this, I am really emphasizing the word “trying”. In this quest, I have learned a few lessons about life.

The first is that there is a big difference between like and love when it comes to people. I really like people who think like I do. I usually don’t like those who don’t see things the same way I do. However, it makes no difference with the people I love. I love them when they agree with me. I love them when they don’t. In fact, there are some things I don’t like about the people I love. Doesn’t matter. I love them anyway.

Next is forgiveness. My first lesson was when I was 5. I still remember his name, Graham Henderson. When I moved to my new neighbourhood, he initiated me by rubbing my nose in dog poo. I was angry, humiliated and vowed to get revenge. It would have to wait, because he was older than I was. I spent many hours visualizing giving him a thrashing.

The time came when I had grown enough that I thought I could beat him up the next time I saw him. Then I heard an ominous sound – a moving truck. It pulled into the Henderson’s driveway. Wanting one last chance at retribution, I asked to see Graham, the object of my years of waiting. I was told that he had left for his new home and wouldn’t be back.

I realized I had wasted so much time planning my revenge, only to have it tossed away in an instant, totally out of my control. Had I spent this time doing positive things instead of planning someone’s demise, I would have been much further ahead.

Same thing happened with Dougie Ball. He had hit me in the head with a snowball, so I stuck one in the freezer for months. On a hot July day, I waited for him. When he arrived, I wound up, tossed the very hard snowball – and missed!

It took me quite a few more years to realize that forgiveness was a much better route. By forgiveness, I don’t mean allowing abuse to continue. Here’s what I mean.

Whether intentional or not, people sometimes do things that upset me or make my life more difficult. I can decide to get back. You know, an eye for an eye, but Gandhi probably said it best: “An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”
I now realize that not forgiving means I am carrying around the hurt all the time. Holding on allows that person to still have some control over me. I don’t want that.

It’s so much better to forgive a person and release the burden. The other fact is that the wrongdoer might not even care if he is forgiven or not. Do I want to be the only one who cares about the wrongdoing and suffer some more? No!

Forgiveness in my mind means releasing anything that stops you from being the person you were meant to be. Spend time on who you can be and avoid anything that prevents you from reaching your potential.

Finally, being one of the world’s greatest lovers means giving a lot of what is most precious about me. Part of the process is realizing that what I have is, indeed, precious. If I don’t think very highly of myself, then what I give to others isn’t very valuable. People who remain in abusive situations because they “love” somebody don’t get this. It is my job to be the best me I can be so I can give the very best to others.

So I continue my journey down the road of life in my quest to be one of the world’s greatest lovers. It is filled with quite a few bumps and potholes. Sometimes I go in reverse, but at least I keep heading towards the destination. I realize I’ve got a long way to go, but having love in my heart during the voyage feels a lot better than hatred.

I Hate Camping

I hate camping. Why? Every camping experience of mine has been disastrous.

I once camped in the Rockies with our college group. Two things took away from the fun.

First, we shared food with our tent mates. My buddy, Alex, loved camping. I brought meals I recognized. Alex brought concoctions with lots of fibre. When far from toilets, having to dig a hole to answer nature’s call and sharing it with blood-hungry mosquitoes, you welcome constipation. Alex’s offerings had the reverse effect.

Second, I rented a sleeping bag. The camping store suggested a down-filled one for the cold nights. They were wrong. It wasn’t warm enough. Also, I discovered my allergy to feathers. At daybreak, my body itched everywhere. I got out of this cocoon and went outside into the rain.

Then I saw the moose. They have terrible eyesight. It didn’t see me. The rain prevented it from smelling me. After two days without a shower, it should have detected my scent. It walked towards me. Suddenly, its eyes bugged out. It saw me, but kept walking towards me. I had no idea what to do, so I did nothing. It calmly passed me, almost stepping on our tent.

Still, there were some laughs. I remember the Johnson girl with a plug-in make-up mirror in her backpack. There was no electricity for miles.

I vowed never to camp again, until one of our youth leaders in Ottawa, Andy, suggested winter camping in Gatineau Park. As a leader, I felt pressured to participate.

Sensing my apprehension, he assured me that snow huts waited for us at our destination and a small heated cabin for me. It sounded inviting.

The worst ice storm ever in the region closed our trail. The temperature was - 28˚C. Nothing would stop us, though.

After an afternoon blazing our own trail, it was getting dark. We had to decide immediately whether to continue trying to reach the snow huts or spend the remaining daylight setting up camp. With the temperature at - 28˚C, and our survival depending on this decision, better to deal with familiar surroundings.

A tarpaulin covering a three-foot hole in the snow became our shelter. Twenty weary campers crammed their sleeping bags into the pit.

We huddled around a huge fire, holding our bodies perilously close to the flames. The hot food tasted delicious.

Exhausted after an afternoon slogging through deep snow, I got into my sleeping bag. Suddenly a cramp in my leg felt like a volcano erupting. I got up, hunched over and did a jig under the tarp. I returned to my bag. It came back twice as hard. Trying to sleep was useless. I decided to stay up all night. Getting dressed, I actually stepped on Mark Jones’ head. He screamed, but the rest of the campers laughed.

I tried staying warm by the fire and kept it going until morning. A beautiful meteorite blazing across the sky at 4:30 a.m. was my reward for a sleepless night.

When I got home, I immediately went to the washroom and threw up.

The winter camping experience was horrible, yet when the group met again, there was a special bond among those who had participated in this adventure. Going through this unpleasantness together brought us closer. My trying to put on my clothes, bouncing around like a ping pong ball, and stepping on Mark’s head became more legendary with each telling. Something very good, indeed, had emerged from this horridness.

Sometimes life’s like this camping adventure. Even though you may be going through a rough time, once you’re through it, you may treasure having shared the experience, and something strong and beautiful can grow from it.

Maybe there’s something to be learned from the saying: "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."

When there is somebody to dance with you in the rain, you know you have a true friend. It’s easy being a friend when times are happy, but getting through the difficult times makes true friendship stronger.

Hopefully you have friends like this. If not, maybe I can be your friend. Just don’t ask me to go camping.

You’re Right!

“You’re right, Peter,” I shouted across the gym when I arrived for badminton. It had been a bad day. Everything had gone wrong. Nothing provoked my outburst except the needed assurance that something or someone in the world was right. Peter was my target. His response echoed my comment. “You’re right, too, John.” Suddenly, I felt a lot better. The affirmation that I was OK warmed my soul.

At our badminton club, it’s become a regular greeting for Peter and me. It’s a bit of a joke, but it still feels good. That small interjection has helped me know the man better. What was a mere acquaintance has blossomed into a friendship.

The problem is that I don’t do this often enough. I let negative thoughts creep in. I think poorly of people when I have the option to feel differently. I look at our differences instead of what we have in common. I start wishing they were more like me, instead of celebrating their uniqueness. I might even say something negative about them.

Years ago, I learned how powerful thinking positive about someone can be. A board member of mine needed something delivered to her. The problem was it was during a snowstorm and my car heater didn’t work. I arrived at her door shivering. She saw my plight and invited me in for a warm cup of tea before sending me home.

Soon after, she started doing and saying some pretty nasty things. When the phone rang and I heard her voice barking at me, I immediately tensed up. When I sensed this, I replaced it with the picture of her giving me hot tea on that cold night. I relaxed and my voice became soothing instead of aggressive.

Six months later, she called and boldly asked me to explain myself. I asked her what she meant. She said she realized she had been treating me badly for so long, but she couldn’t understand why I had responded with kindness. She confessed her actions were due to difficulties she was having at work and not me. I told her that deep down I knew that this wasn’t her true self. The real person was the one who had given me hot tea on a cold night. I had chosen to think good things about her.
I could have gotten angry and argued back. Maybe I would have gotten her respect. I’m not sure I would have won her friendship. This way I got both and received the admiration of others who watched my quiet dignity in response to her attacks. This was a case where doing right was much more important than being right.

The way I figure, I have a choice to make every day when I wake up. I can be positive or negative. Experience has taught me that being negative doesn’t work very well.

As an occasional teacher, I faced the same decision every time I stepped into a classroom. I found that the best days occurred when the students saw that I truly wanted to be with them. I did my best to find something positive about them as soon as I arrived.

However, I often fall flat on my face. I say or do the wrong thing in spite of my intentions. It can be so easy being negative and finding faults. I have suffered from foot in mouth disease.

Realizing my imperfections helps me a lot, though. Who am I to criticize when I am far less than perfect? So I try to find the positive in everyone. I don’t always succeed. It’s difficult to love people when they don’t love themselves. In those cases, rather than stay and fight, I usually just remove myself from the situation.
Anyway, who wants to be around a negative person? I don’t. When I’m negative, I don’t want to be around myself. Why should others?

Every day I’m trying to make a conscious effort to find something good about everyone. I find that when I am positive others feel better and so do I. The world seems a little bit better. Why not give it a try? Tell some people you know how wonderful they are. And if you see Peter, tell him he’s right.

It Can Be Done

“Don’t ever tell them it can’t be done!” That was the advice a colleague, Craig, gave me long ago. He was a veteran instructor where I taught computer applications.

Craig’s next prophetic comment was, “Even though you think it can’t be done, it may be that you just haven’t figured out how to do it. With computers, we’re always discovering things we can do.” Claiming something couldn’t be done might mean setting myself up to have my credibility reduced when a student would, indeed, show me it could be done.

Many weekends were spent with my computer like a student cramming for a final exam. I learned things I didn’t know in order to teach them, sometimes to people who had been using it for months. I suddenly had to become the expert. I had to find out how things could be done.

Often students asked how you did this or that. I heeded Craig’s advice. Not once did I say something couldn’t be done. Usually I said that I would get back to them and rush to the coffee room during a break to see if my colleagues knew. Sometimes I would simply say that I didn’t know, but would contact them if I ever found out.

Teaching computer courses made me realize that I don’t know everything. There is always something new to discover. It also taught me to search for ways to do something rather than sit back and claim it can’t be done.

History is filled with stories of people who did things when others were sceptical.

People said it was impossible to create a flying machine. Many tried and failed. The Wright brothers did it.

My mother told me we would never get to the moon. Jules Verne envisioned this more than a century before, even picking Florida as the launch site when it was nothing more than a swamp. We all know what happened.

In hockey, there was a time when it was assumed that a defenseman would never score 20 goals or more per season. I guess nobody told Bobby Orr.

On and on it goes. There are many more examples.

But here’s a point I want to make. In life you will meet many who feel their role is to shoot down your balloons. Usually with great authority and feigning wisdom, they will tell you why and how things can’t be done, just like the “experts” gave advice to the Wright brothers.

I usually don’t need this advice. Often, I already know how things can’t be done. I wish they would spend their energies and talents figuring out how things could be done instead. My history with these types is that they usually spend most of their lives tearing things down and building very little. There is a lot of talk and little action.

Sure, reality says there are things I can’t do. I can’t walk through a brick wall. However, in the Town’s long-range plan you will see an idea about Elton John buying
the Opera House and restoring it to its original splendour. Yep, that’s my little dream. My personal vision goes much deeper than this, but that’s for another time. Impossible? Some may believe so. I don’t.

Maybe you have dreams. Come share them with me. Maybe I can help. There are many imaginative, positive and innovative people in St. Marys who may be able to help you, too. But don’t give up on your dreams just because others think they can’t happen. They can!

Some of my favourite people are the Hope for Haiti group. Their enthusiasm, dedication and optimism are infectious. Haiti is a country where there might be cause for little hope, but that doesn’t stop them. Wonderful!

George Bernard Shaw in his play, The Serpent, wrote: “You see things as they are and ask, ‘Why?’ I dream things as they never were and ask, ‘Why not?’" From the same play comes: “Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire; you will what you imagine; and at last you create what you will.”

Pretty powerful words, but I still like Craig’s simple words. “Don’t ever tell them it can’t be done.”

The Last-Minute Purchase

Me work in a jewellery store? It’s hard to imagine. I don’t wear any accessories, not even a watch. However, the sign was in the window many years ago when I was a teenager and I needed the money. They must have needed help for Christmas and I mean “really needed” help to hire me. So I became an employee for Morse Jewellers in Northtown Plaza in Willowdale for the holiday season.

Not having any interest in jewellery reflected in my sales. After two weeks, George, my boss, brought out the sales figures. I was dead last. The only thing I was good at was selling aftershave. We had a nice one called British Stirling. I convinced the women who were buying it for their men that they were really buying it for themselves. It didn’t matter if their husband or boyfriend liked it. If it pleased them, it was the right one.

The closer we got to Christmas, the busier the store got. We braced ourselves for the big day, Christmas Eve.

True to form, many customers, mostly men, rushed into the store desperate to find the perfect gift for their loved ones. Of course, we had just what they wanted, showing them the more expensive items and only showing lower priced ones if they asked.

About a half an hour before closing, a young girl came into the store with a worried look. All the stores would be closing soon. I asked her if I could help her.

“I want to buy a gift for my mom,” she said. “It has to be something very special.”

“What can you tell me about your mom?” I asked.

“She’s beautiful,” came the reply.

My next question was how much money she had to spend.

“Six dollars.”

“Six dollars!” I thought. There was very little in the store to choose from at that price. Meanwhile, the store suddenly got crowded with last minute shoppers. George, my boss, gave me a quick glare.

“Does your mother wear earrings?”

“Yes, she does.”

“Are her ears pierced?”

“Yes, they are.”

Now we were getting somewhere. I knew that we had some earrings that would fit into her price range.

I patiently showed her several pairs. Nothing seemed special enough for the young girl’s mom. The store was filling up; wallets being flipped out like a shootout at the OK Corral. George kept furtively glancing at me.

Finally, like the star in the east, a pair of earrings appeared. The little girl gasped, “They’re perfect. My mom will love these.”

Quickly, we rushed to the cash register and I rung in the sale. It came to $4.98. As I started to put the earrings in the bag two big, brown eyes sparkled at me with great joy. Yes, the joy of the season was in her eyes.

I couldn’t stop my next sentence. I blurted, “Would you like that gift wrapped?”

“Would you?” she squealed.

I went to the back of the store. George’s eyes followed me like searchlights looking for enemy aircraft. He was scrambling to serve the many customers.

I got out one of the special Morse Jewellery boxes, wrapped it gold paper, put red ribbon around it and asked, “Would you like a bow?”

“Oh, yes!”

I found a perfect red one. The gift looked beautiful, fit for the best mom in the world. She must have been the best mom in the world. What other kind of mother would raise such a wonderful child.

She walked out of the store, head held high, reminiscent of one of the wise men in days of old bringing a gift for a special child born in Bethlehem. I walked her to the door, opened it and delivered her to her dad, who had watched the proceedings from outside with great interest.

It was one minute to six. I turned around and there was George. Let’s just say he didn’t wish me a Merry Christmas. In fact, he wasn’t very merry at all.

“We had many customers who wanted to spend a lot of money and you wasted a lot of time on a sale of $4.98. Not only that, you gift-wrapped her present. We only do that for purchases of over $10.”

Without hesitation, fear and in a cheery voice, I replied, “Yes, there were many with lots of money, but this child knows the true spirit of giving. She gave most of what she had. All I did was thank her for showing me what Christmas is all about. It’s not about money. It’s about giving. Merry Christmas, George.”

This Is The Way The World Ends

I love the news. Always have; always will. I just have to know what's going on. I am constantly looking for scraps of information to read.

I was just poking around the Internet, Yahoo to be exact, and I noticed the following headline - Mass Extinction Threat: Earth on Verge of Huge Reset Button?

The article was fascinating. It's a scenario that most of us are well aware of. Humans have drastically changed the environment to the extent that many species are now on the brink of extinction. It looks like the situation is not going to improve.

This article started me wondering how other people thought about the state of the Earth. Here we are, perched on the precipice of major upheaval. What are we going to do? The answer to my question was not very far away.

To the bottom left was a hyperlink to another article. The title was "Out the Door." It was about Kara DioGuardi leaving 'American Idol' and it got me thinking.

I wondered how many people would click on the American Idol story and not the one on the mass extinction threat. The whole world could be falling apart and people seem to care more about Jon and Kate or Lindsay Lohan. When was the last time you went to the supermarket checkout and saw a magazine that didn't tell how somebody lost 15 pounds in one week? When was the last time you saw something that really mattered?

I guess the only way serious news can get more attention is if we turn it into a reality show. Hold on! Aren't things like the environment more real than reality shows? Maybe the way BP can mend fences with the American public is to appear on "Dancing with the Stars."

Toby

He just kept on getting better and better. Then, just like a candle that quickly sputters and dies, he was gone. I think we sometimes have emotions because we can't express ourselves in words. I will miss my friend.

What you see isn’t what you get

If you click on the link below, you will see what they can do in movies to make you think you are watching actors in situations that are not reality. Yet, they seem so real.

What you see isn’t what you get

I find that life is often like this. I see what is placed before me and I make judgments based on my reality. While the elements that make up the whole picture may be real, I may be experiencing something that is very false.

Having worked in television, how raw footage is edited can change a story completely, even without the fancy effects you have seen.

Although I don't always succeed, I try to adopt an attitude of being open to new ideas that may radically change how I feel. Sure, I have my value system that has been shaped over the years, but I am always on the lookout for new information that may show me that what has seemed to be real in the past may not be. The great risk is that the new reality may prove to be smoke and mirrors, too.

I guess it all comes down to the fact that you will believe what you want to believe. Having adopted that belief, you will not want to move from that comfort zone.

Oh well, just some random thoughts in the new year. It's been awhile since I have posted something. We'll see how prolific I am in 2010.

Forrest Gump

Life certainly is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get. That's how I feel about the movie Forrest Gump. I just don't get it.

I have watched it several times, even tonight. I still don't understand what the message of the movie is.

I certainly feel for Forrest. I have experienced many of the same emotions he has had. I have waited and waited for my "Jenny" in my life. I have done the unconventional and somehow come out just fine.

But I still don't know what it is all about. And it just ends with a feather floating in the air after he has sent his son off to school.

Mind you, there are times when I just don't get things because, like Forrest Gump, I am pretty naive about life. If anyone can help me, please send me a comment. I will be sure to post it. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is confused.

ESL adventures

I really love teaching ESL. Every day brings a laugh or two. It sometimes works out that my students teach me a thing or two about life, particularly when I hear their stories. I am thankful and happy for the life I have lead.

Names in other cultures are fun, too. In one class, one of the students is named Heh, pronounced as if you were saying, "Hey, Jude." Unfortunately, this is the way I often greet people, which has her looking at me every time I meet somebody.

In the same class is a woman with the name Pie, but it is pronounced "pee". Another has the name Kah Kah, which sounds like it is spelled. So in the same class I have pee and caca, which is the word for poo in French.

The challenging part is trying to communicate with adults who often have no clue what I am saying. You have to be innovative in explaining a concept. For example, some of the students put the small "p" above the line. How can you tell them that it is too high when they don't know the words too and high?

What I did was loosen my belt and pull my pants up as high as I could so they looked silly and said that when they wrote their "p"s, they looked funny like this. Well, the whole class cracked up. You know what? It worked. Somehow they got the idea.

There are times when it is pure joy. One of their favourite songs is "Hello, Goodbye" by the Beatles. As soon as I sing, "You say yes," they sing, "I say no," and off we go with the whole song. It's magic.

My hope is that one day their English will be good enough that we will be able to sit down over a cup of coffee and discuss anything and everything.

I subscribe to a daily email from Kim Komando, a woman who is a high tech guru in the United States. She has a video of the day. Usually they are pretty good. This one is exceptional.

This one is by Malaysian director Yasmin Ahmad, who died of a stroke in July.

All I can say is get out your Kleenex.

">

Brian Clark

He is my connection to the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. Brian Clark was one of the few people who worked above where the planes struck the towers and survived. I was shocked to see his face on the television many months after.

It's funny how people weave into your life, exit and pop up again many years later. Brian Clark was on my softball team in 1973, I believe. He played second base. Offensively, he wasn't a huge threat, but he rarely made an error defensively.

Knowing he lived through the terrorist attack made it more real to me. Often we hear of tragic events, but really don't relate to them. They happen to others far away. Brian brought it much closer to me.

When you hear his story, it is quite amazing. Initially he was leading a group down the stairs in the South Tower. A couple of people were coming up and told everyone that it would be better to go higher. An argument started among the employees. Brian heard a voice of a trapped man on the floor they were on. He went to extract him from the wreckage. When he returned to the stairwell with the man, nobody was there.

At that point, he could have gone up like everybody else did. He didn't. He continued down the stairwell. That decision saved his life. Within a few minutes of his leaving the building, it collapsed, killing all who were inside it.

I remember the CBC asking if he felt any guilt. His response was that he didn't. They had made their choice and he had made his. He wasn't responsible for their decision.

I feel there are some life lessons to learn from this story. Sometimes everybody tells us the direction we should follow. They tell us to go up, when we strongly feel we should go down. We can be swayed by what others say. They can put fear in our hearts and their words may seem logical. Sometimes we need to be like Brian. We need to do what we feel is right, even if it means going against the grain. It may mean going through some immediate discomfort and working your way through wreckage. At the end of it all, it may mean your release from disaster. Sure, you could have climbed to the higher floors and experienced momentary relief, but the result was sad.

Regardless of whether there is anything to be learned from this, Brian put a human face to the story, bringing it a lot closer, and making it real.

I'm Going To Change My World

I want to change my world
I want to change my world
I want to change my world
Change my world

I'm going to change my world
I'm going to change my world
Yes, I'm going to change my world
Change my world

I will turn the night to light
I will change the wrong to right
I will never lose my sight
I'll change my world

It's with me I have to start
Take the love that's in my heart
And from this point depart
And change the world

As I stand upon this stage
I'll erase all thoughts of rage
Today I'll turn the page
And change the world

Not a country will be missed
With open hands and not a fist
In harmony we will exist
We'll change our world

I'm going to change my world
I'm going to change my world
Yes, I'm going to change my world
Change my world

Teaching ESL

Teaching ESL is such a joyful experience. I sometimes wonder who learns the most. Each day I am immersed in the values and cultures of people who have come to Canada. Many of them have escaped very difficult circumstances, often leaving everything behind for the chance of freedom and safety.

I wish everybody could hear their stories. Canadians would get a greater appreciation for our own country. Also, some of the negative attitudes towards immigrants would disappear.

Teaching newcomers is sometimes not easy. Some come from places, like China, where there is no alphabet in their language. The Arabic alphabet doesn't resemble ours in the slightest and they write from right to left. Some of our sounds are difficult for them to make, like "th".

The approach I take is like putting post-it notes on a fridge. I stick as many as I can on each day. When I arrive the next day, I see how many have blown off and I start putting them on again.

Learning a language is not an instant process. It's like putting drops of water in a glass a few at a time. In the beginning, you might not see much happening and get a bit discourages. Drop by drop the glass eventually fills up as long as you keep putting liquid in.

Come to think of it, that's the way many things are in life. We live in an era where we want an instant fix to everything, but many things, including building great character, are the result of a long, difficult process.

Fantastic!

Fantastic! Unbelievable! Wonderful! Fabulous! Awesome!

I have been teaching my ESL students different ways to say very good.

Every morning I ask them how they are. If they say, "Very good," or "Fine, thank you," I ask them again and again until they say one of these words. Once in awhile I get "Tanfastic" instead of fantastic, but just saying these words has made the class a more positive environment.

I'm sure all of the students and many of my teacher colleagues will remember me every time they hear the word fantastic.

I know some of my other verbal mannerisms have stuck on people. When I was with Softball Canada and the Canadian Association of Journalists, if I had a question, I would raise my hand and say "question". Many of my board members started immitating me.

It's funny how we associate words and things with people. It can be something as simple as yellow Volkswagons, almonds, a certain brand of perfume, but the most amusing one in my life is our toilet.

We just had a low-flush toilet installed in our home. It reminds me of our friend Goksel Kortay in Turkey. What on earth would be the association between this lovely woman and plumbing? It was made in Turkey. So every time I flush, along with the water, the memories of Goksel are flushed into my mind and I immediately start sending kind thoughts her way.

False Promises

"You can have anything you want - if you want it badly enough. You can be anything you want to be, have anything you desire, accomplish anything you set out to accomplish - if you will hold to that desire with singleness of purpose."

Robert Collier
Writer and Publisher

I got this little note on something I get called Insight of the Day. Most days I love getting these nuggets of wisdom. While I understand the purpose of the above quote - we should expand our horizons and not limit our potential - I am concerned about the messages that tell you can have anything you want. Think about it.

There is nothing on this earth that I would like than to be a professional baseball player.

Yesterday, Tiger Woods didn't with the PGA Championship. I can't imagine anyone wanting to win more than he did.

And how about Tyson Gay? Do you think he didn't want to win the 100 metre final badly at the World Track and Field Championships?

In Tiger and Tyson's instances, other people just happened to perform better than they did. In the case of my desire to be a professional baseball player, while the desire might be there, I don't have the body of twenty-two year old anymore.

I imagine Robert Collier might say that Tiger, Tyson and I didn't want it badly enough or hold to the desire with a singleness of purpose. I like to think of it, rather, of having a touch of reality in my life.

Unlike those who send money to televangelists who lead extravagant lives on the promise of God giving them more money than they can imagine, I just give what I can towards anything. In other words, I give it my all. Yes, I have an objective or goal in mind, and some of them come true. But I do allow for the fact that sometimes in life your strongest desires, your fondest dreams just don't work out. That doesn't mean that you have failed. It just means that there is something better for you around the corner. You just have to keep on walking.

Don't give up on your dreams. They are wonderful to have. And there are some that will be difficult to let go, but don't pretend that they will all come true just because you desire them. That just isn't reality. Of course the people who do believe and have their dreams come true will preach this hope to you, and usually charge you to hear their inspirational message. Why? Because they figure that is what got them where they are. And there is some truth in what they say, but to come out and say you can have anything is stretching it a bit far.

Just so I don't sound too negative, here is a recent one that I really liked.

"Living consciously involves being genuine; it involves listening and responding to others honestly and openly; it involves being in the moment."

Sidney Poitier
Actor and Author of The Measure of a Man

Good quote and great actor!

ESL Logic

I am teaching English as a second language this summer. It is a delight. It is interesting looking at your own culture through the eyes of others. It is often very funny, too. Such was the case today.

My students were on a human treasure hunt. For example, they were trying to find somebody who could speak three languages. Another task was to try to find somebody who could play the piano. The problem was there there wasn't a single soul in the class who played this instrument.

I decided that this was the time to teach them what "nobody" meant. I went to each person in the class and asked, "Can you play the piano?" Each answer was, "No, I don't." I then indicated that when the answers were no, no, no for each person, we would say, "Nobody can play the piano."

I then went around the room and asked, "Can you use a computer?" The answers were all, "Yes, I can." I then asked them what the word would be if all responses were yes. The reply came quickly - "Yesbody can use a computer." And you know what? It makes perfect sense. I then explained that the word was everybody. The student's response made my day.

Taking It Like A Pro

I had to laugh last week.

The Toronto Blue Jays released one of their pitchers, B. J. Ryan. The manager called him into his office before the game and the newspaper article said that B. J. took the news like a pro.

I have a couple of comments.

Of course he should take it like a pro. He is a pro, so why shouldn't he act like one.

But that's not the one that has me chuckling.

Even though B. J. Ryan is cut from the team, he will still get $15 million. Hey, cut me for a mere million and I will take it like a pro.

Think about it. If you get $15 million dollars, unless you go out and invest it unwisely, you are set up for life. You don't have to lift a finger if you don't want to. You can live a very comfortable lifestyle.

So what does B. J. Ryan have to worry about? His pride? I think $15 million should take away some of the pain. Anyway, I have just heard today that he has been scooped up by the Chicago Cubs. The way I figure, he's taking this news like a pro, too - all the way to the bank.

Important Deaths

Does anybody remember what the most important news was a couple of weeks ago? It was people protesting the results of the election in Iran. People were being beaten and some were killed.

Then the death of Michael Jackson pushed all of this to the back burner. It seems that the world cares more about the fate of his three children than millions of people in Iran. Heck, the death of Billy Mays, the guy who hawked Oxy-Clean on the television, has been given greater prominence in the last few days.

Indeed, it seems that there are some deaths more important than others. If we can put a familiar face to it, then it touches us more dearly.