Being Joyful

I have been blowing it lately. I have been forgetting to be joyful. I have been practising thoughts and actions that have been anything but positive.

You may be saying to yourself as I often do, “What have I to be positive about?” Most of us can chant like a mantra that we are better off than over 90% of the world. We can focus on all of the things we have and be thankful, and I do. When things just aren’t going the way I want them to go, I sometimes find it difficult to be joyful.

But a thought occurred to me today. Something that will, hopefully, permit me to be joyful more often, if not in any circumstance.

The question I asked myself is this: “If I am not joyful, what fruit does my soul produce?” You see, this is very different than merely acknowledging what you have. It takes what you have and puts hope and purpose into it.

Let’s look at the two scenarios. If I am not joyful, do people want to be around me? No. If I am not truly joyful, can I give my best to the people I love? Nope, I am just giving gift-wrapped garbage. So what is the result? It is less joy, not just for me but the ones around me. And the very people I need really don't want to be around me.

On the flip side, when you are joyful, people are naturally drawn to you and they get a lot from you without your having to do much giving at all. What you are giving is the essence of you and people feel that deep down. You don’t have to fuss all over them, although that is fine, too, but they sense the spirit of you and want naturally to be close to you. Notice that I used the word naturally. It’s not an “if I do this, then she will feel that” scenario. She will just know that she wants to be with you because she wants to be around that joy that comes from within you. It will be her choice, not something she feels obliged to do.

When you are joyful, it also gives you a freedom. Your joy is not dependent on others, so they feel no pressure in having to try to please you. You will find that they naturally want to please you because that brings more joy from you.

Now, I know somebody who says that somebody else is the source of his joy. In my opinion, it just can’t work that way. You will suck the other person dry. Also, when they are having a down day, you will too. No, that joy has to come from within.

This person seems to want to control the sources of joy for his loved one and mold and shape it for her. Again, in my opinion, this won’t work. The joy has to come from within. It is an individual responsibility. You can’t do it for me and I can’t do it for you. I have no right to try to lessen someone else’s joy and try to call it love.

People will sometimes give gift-wrapped garbage and try to fool the other person into thinking it is joy. Often this comes in the shape of flowers or boxes of chocolates or doing things for the other person, but with the motivation of control rather than just giving joy. Let’s make no mistake. You can tell when somebody is purely joyful.

Are you afraid of losing love ones? Be joyful. Why? Fretting, worrying and pleading will often make matters worse and becomes a con game. The result is often affection masked as love given in fear or guilt and a need for control. If you were truly joyful, why would anyone ever want to leave? If they do, it is their big loss, and because your joy comes from within, it will not go away, even though you might experience some sadness. I am speaking from some experience on this one. I wish I had known this many years ago.

I’m sure most of us remember the song, Don’t Worry, Be Happy. Some of the thoughts I have expressed here are in the song. You know, this wisdom isn’t new. I’m pretty sure every religion in the world has similar thoughts expressed in its sacred writings.

But before you read the words, smile a big smile, not just on the outside, but on the inside, too, and be joyful.

Don't Worry, Be Happy
Performed by Bobby McFerrin

Here is a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry be happy
In every life we have some trouble
When you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy......

Ain't got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don't worry, be happy
The land lord say your rent is late
He may have to litigate
Don't worry, be happy
Lood at me I am happy
Don't worry, be happy
Here I give you my phone number
When you worry call me
I make you happy
Don't worry, be happy
Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style
Ain't got not girl to make you smile
But don't worry be happy
Cause when you worry
Your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
So don't worry, be happy (now).....

There is this little song I wrote
I hope you learn it note for note
Like good little children
Don't worry, be happy
Listen to what I say
In your life expect some trouble
But when you worry
You make it double
Don't worry, be happy......
Don't worry don't do it, be happy
Put a smile on your face
Don't bring everybody down like this
Don't worry, it will soon past
Whatever it is
Don't worry, be happy