The Three Loves

C. S. Lewis wrote a book called The Four Loves. He based it on the four words in Greek to express the one word we have in English, love. I understand what he is saying, yet often love is a bit more complicated. Often the loves that Lewis speaks about are intertwined.

In trying to understand love, I have come to a realization that seems to work for me. Essentially there are three loves.

There is a love that will do whatever it can to try to avoid pain. I don’t want to lose a job that I love, for example, so I will do whatever it takes to prevent myself from losing it. I may have to learn many things along the way. I will certainly have to change. I may have to do things I wouldn’t normally do. I will do anything because I don’t want to lose my job and suffer the discomfort. I will even try to make the object of my desire feel guilty for my shortcomings. Fear drives this love. This love says, “Please don’t hurt me. I’ll love you.”

The second love is one that gives in order to receive. It goes something like this. If you love me then you will do this and that. If you don’t do this or that, then I won’t love you. Flowers and chocolates can often be given with the expectation of a reward. Whatever is given, there is a price tag that comes with it. Greed and desire drive this love. This love says, “I love you, so show me you love me.”

The third love just gives. It expects nothing in return. In fact, people don’t even have to accept it. It is simply placed at their feet for them to accept or reject. It offers the total freedom to be themselves. There are no strings attached. The recipient has to meet no demands. In some cases, the recipient is in no position to give back. I see it in workers who go out on cold nights to give soup to street people. I’m not so sure what drives this love. This love doesn’t say anything. It just does.

Which love do you think exists in the world the most? Which one do you think comes along once in a blue moon? Which one do you think is the easiest to reject? Why?

What the world needs now,
Is love, sweet love,
It's the only thing that there's just too little of.
What the world needs now,
Is love, sweet love,
No, not just for some but for everyone.

In the lyrics to the song, What The World Needs Now, which of the three loves does the world really need now?

Rather than give my answers, I think it is more important for you to answer the questions yourself.