Pleasing Others

You can never please everyone. Some of us try, though. There is a great risk when you do this.

Walk up to people and ask them if they will help you. The smart ones will ask what you want them to do or say, “It depends.” However, most will agree to assist even before they know what you want. A lot of this is based on the relationship you have and their trust in you.

For those who are eager to please, we have to learn that no is an acceptable answer, too. Like the celebrity who is inundated with requests, we have to realize that we need time to ourselves and to follow our dreams. Yes, it is great helping somebody, but there are times that the person has to do it himself.

There is another reason to say no. If we are busy looking after the needs of others, then we may lose ourselves in the process.

Here is my logic. I have been given one life. In that life, I have a path I must follow. That path may be shared with somebody else, but it is still my path, too. If I merely try to please other people, my purpose in life may be diverted. I will be helping somebody or many people, but I will not be doing it with a joyful heart. I will become a slave to the other person’s life. There are people whose calling may be to give their life away. If that describes you, then so be it. If it doesn’t, don’t allow guilt to force you to do something that is not for you.

Does this mean never giving in? Of course not, but it does mean evaluating where that decision will be taking me.

When people squabble, they often come up with the quote, “Love thy neighbour.” The forget the last part, “as thyself.” I have to love myself to some degree. If I don’t love myself, then what I give to others is something that I don’t consider valuable. Loving yourself can mean doing nice things for yourself once in awhile. Again, you don’t have to feel guilty about it.

Finally, you can fall in a rut by trying to constantly please people. They can train you like a rat in a Skinner box to keep on trying to please them more and more. The less satisfied they are, the harder you will try to please them. That isn’t much of a life, is it?

It is noble to please others, but it is also noble in making sure you are good to yourself, too.