Teaching Kindergarten

As an occasional teacher, I teach from kindergarten to grade 8. Each day poses a new challenge, but there is always something to laugh about when I teach kindergarten.

The closest thing I can think about comparing it to is trying to herd gerbils. They scamper around and are so unpredictable.

Having my guitar helps. It holds their attention, although each child who has a long lost relative feels he has to tell me that this person has a guitar just like mine. One by one they raise their hand and tell me. It’s like waves lapping on the shore, until I finally have to get on with it.

Just yesterday, one young girl found the room too hot. Her solution was stripping down to her underwear. Fortunately, I had a female assistant who was able to handle this situation.

I am one of the few males who teach kindergarten. Since I am 57 years old, this usually doesn’t pose too much of a problem. Most of them think of me as being a lot like grandpa. In fact, one imp said, “You smell like grandpa.” I didn’t know how to take this one, so I asked him if that was good. He assured me that it was very good.

At this young age, the kids are usually very honest. If the right question poses itself, you can find out all sorts of things about their families. Once in awhile, you hear something that makes your heart break a bit, like when one child told me that mommy was in heaven.

The most difficult day yet one of the funniest was when one child took one look at me and started crying, “I want my mommy.” Usually ignoring the noise makes it go away, but this day was special for a reason. It was a few days before Mother’s Day, and every activity we did had something to do about mom.

Just as the crying was subsiding, we read a story about mom. Then we sang a song about mom. Next it was a card for Mother’s Day. A poem, a page to colour, journal entries, it all led to tears flowing and the chant “I want my mommy.” It lasted until 1 pm in the afternoon. The school staff was very supportive and kind. They tried to console her and assured me that I was doing just great, although it didn’t sound that way.

This child is in grade 1 now. I look forward to seeing her again. Hopefully, she will have adjusted to school life better.

These kids have taught me a lot. I have learned that you can be in the same family, have the same birthday and not be a twin, just like one girl’s sister and her aunt. A scribble on a piece of paper can be anything from a home to daddy to just a scribble. I have learned to ask, “Tell me about your picture,” instead of trying to interpret it myself.

Winter is always fun. It seems you are getting them in and out of snowsuits all day. There is always one of them who has a zipper that just won’t budge.

Part of kindergarten is learning the routine of school. Unfortunately on my part, the routine at every school is different. The song for the days of the week can be sung to My Darling Clementine or the theme to the Flintstones. When I get it wrong, they instantly let me know.

They are so eager to please. Just like the father in the movie, Life is Beautiful, I award them meaningless points for doing things like smiling, standing straight and in a line, and being quiet. They just love earning their points.

At the end of the day, I am running on empty, but there is a smile on my face. I get them ready for home and shovel them out the door. When they leave, the room is suddenly silent and lifeless. All of that positive energy has just scooted on home.

In spite of the fact that hugging male teachers is frowned upon in schools, one of them manages once in a while to run up to me and sneak one in.

Travelling around, I have gained an appreciation for the dedicated teachers who do this every day. It takes a special person and I have never met a kindergarten teacher I didn’t like.

My only dislike? The furniture is much, much too small for me. I usually have to go somewhere else in the school to find a chair that suits me.