Doing the Right Things

As Valentine’s Day approaches, the florists and chocolate companies are gearing up for what is the busiest day of the year. Many men will be rushing to these stores so they can “do the right thing” for their loved one.

Guess what? Love is more than doing the right thing. I know a man who is trying to win the affection of a woman by trying to do the right things. It takes more than that.

Real love is also being the right thing and doing the things that show that you are the right thing. What do I mean?

Years ago, in my student days, I was dating a very charming woman. The only problem was that I didn’t have much money. I had to tell her that if she wanted to go out with me she might have to pay sometimes. It wasn’t that I was cheap. I was poor.

One time, though, I thought I would splurge. I was going to show up at her house with a box of chocolates. I even gift-wrapped them and put on a bow. My gift touched her deeply. Were the chocolates that great? No, it was actually a box of Smarties that cost about a dollar. What she saw was a man with very little money who would think of buying something for her. To her, those Smarties were more precious than the biggest box money could buy.

On another occasion, I showed up with a bunch of flowers. I lived in the country, so I gathered them from the side of the road. OK, so they were weeds. They still reached the soft spot in her heart. Why? I have allergies. When she saw me at her door with the posies and swollen eyes from them, she saw my character through the gift and not merely the gift. I was willing to suffer physical discomfort for her happiness.

It is not just the gift; it is how it is given.

Being the right thing is even more than this. If you are merely giving the gifts without the gift of yourself being the right thing attached, you are bribing the person. True, some people can be bought, but there is no real love.

So what is being the right thing? Qualities like honesty, trustworthiness, honour and sincerity come to mind. When you have these traits, you are presenting the real you, not some phoney person you don’t recognize.

So, if you are planning to do something special for Valentine’s Day to show your love, make sure it comes from your heart instead of merely coming from your wallet. Don’t just do the right thing. Be the right thing.