I Have Difficulty With That

It is hard not to like Bob Jones. He flashes his boyish smile and you feel happy around him. He seems so confident of himself and it rubs off on you. He does what he does with a passion. You just feel good when you are around Bob Jones.

There’s something else I have learned from him. He knows how to tell you he disagrees with you in the nicest way.

I confess, sometimes I am like a bull at a rodeo when I try to state my opinion. I thrash this way and that trying to make my point. While I may buck the rider, I usually don’t get the reaction I want from my friends.

I was working with Bob on a fundraising committee. His idea of fundraising and mine were very different. I was coming up with ideas right and left. He didn’t agree. What did he say? “I have difficulty with that.” He didn’t say he was right and I was wrong. He didn’t tell me that my ideas were absurd. He only said, “I have difficulty with that.”

These words stated in a gentle way that he disagreed, and that the problem might even be his. It also opened the way for me to see if I could discover a way that might make it less difficult for him.

Instead of pointing the finger at me, it focused on him. If he got his way, I knew why, but without his forcing his opinion on me. If my viewpoint was taken, I knew where he stood, but he didn’t sulk or go kicking and screaming. Nothing was drastic enough to destroy our friendship.

Was I able to make my fundraising ideas less difficult for him? No, but the way he handled it took away all of the confrontation that usually happens when two people don’t see eye to eye. We were actually able to joke about our differences.

I haven’t seen Bob Jones in a few years, but I still have fond memories of him. I love the lesson he taught me. Have I been able to practise his wisdom always? Let’s just say, “I have difficulty with that.”