Patti’s Wisdom

A few years ago, I was on the organizing committee for the first-ever reunion of my high school’s graduating year. Patti, whom I barely knew at the time, proposed the idea and I said I would help. From the very beginning, it was a celebration of old memories mixed with catching up on the lives of others.

Five of us met for dinner in Willowdale for the first meeting. We laughed and talked about how graciously we had all aged. We also started discussions on how we would plan the best reunion ever.

Our graduating year was 1969, and we discussed the hotel we wanted. The capacity was about 225. That would be ample for the people who would be coming we felt. Our high school was a large one. The number in our graduating class was over 100. Everything was falling in to place perfectly.

Having worked with committees before, I stressed the need for agreement on how we would make decisions and the necessity of recording everything in detail in the minutes.

Everything was in place. Everything was perfect, that is until Karen, one of the committee members, made a decision without consulting the committee. One of her bosses, who graduated the year before us, got wind of the reunion and wanted to come, too. Karen decided to extend the invitation to those who graduated the year before us and the year after us.

What? How could she do this? Didn’t she understand that this might prevent some people from our graduating year from attending because the room only held 225?

I did what I felt I had to do. Out of principle, I quit the committee.

Then Patti called. Patti is one of the most dynamic persons I have ever met. She is logical and persuasive, two powerful traits.

She asked me if it was my goal to plan one of the best reunions ever. I told her it was. She asked me if I wanted to have a really great time at this reunion. I told her it was. Then she said, “Do you realize that you have just made a decision that will prevent you from reaching those goals? Yes, Karen did not follow the proper protocol. We can do nothing about that now, but the choice you have to make is whether you still want to be at your reunion, regardless of her bad decision.”

“But, but, but …,” I stammered, but the more I said but, the more I felt I was butting my head against a wall. Patti was right. I was letting my pride get in the way. The discussion was left with Patti telling me that the committee was meeting for Chinese food at a certain time on such and such a date. I was welcome to attend.

I tossed the decision in my mind like laundry in a dryer. The day came and I drove to the meeting.

When I entered the restaurant, the joy I saw on the committee members’ faces told me that I had made the right decision. The biggest smile of all was Karen’s. I'm sure she knew that she had slipped up when she broadened the invitation without committee consent. My being there confirmed in everyone’s mind, and especially mine, that there are more important things in life than following protocol. Friendship is not just about doing right. It is about doing right when a wrong has been done. We all slip up. None of us is perfect.

Our reunion was a tremendous success. People were celebrating their lives together and paying honour to those who were no longer with us. It couldn’t have been better. Just think, I almost let somebody else’s decision keep me from my goal.

P.S. My alter ego, Johnny V. was the disk jockey for the evening. I am told he did a great job. If you have a function, you can have him perform for you. The price is right. He is free. Just pay any expenses.