Education and wisdom

She had a grade 6 education. He finished grade 8. My parents didn’t go very far in school. Even though she was the less educated of the two, my mother taught me the most.

She taught me that when the hour seems the darkest, that is when you just keep on going. There were a few times when raising 8 children with little support from her husband left her exhausted. I remember a few times seeing her crying on Saturday night, the night she did her accounting, and wondering where the money to pay the bills was coming from. Yet, she kept on and never gave up.

My mom taught me to try things you may not be familiar with, but to quit if you know in your heart it isn’t for you. My brother and I used to go on the street to play hockey with a tennis ball, one being the forward and the other being the goalie. Then he got interested in girls and started dating. On a lonely Saturday night, my mom volunteered to come outside and be the goalie. You see, she was willing to try. However, she knew when to quit. After a few shots, one went a bit high and hit her in the mouth, almost causing her to swallow her false teeth. Her dream of playing the nets for the Leafs was over.

Another lesson in life was that sometimes you have to go so low that everything looks better because it is. I remember feeling lonely and in despair. When this happened, she would prepare a pot of tea, break the leaves, pour it in my cup and read the tealeaves. She would weave a delightful story of how I would receive a letter soon and meet a stranger who would do something special in my life. And it usually would happen, not necessarily because of her talents, but you just tended to receive letters once in awhile in those days and you did meet new people now and again. What she did, though, was plant a seed of hope in the situation that encouraged me to keep at it.

My mother was unusual. She had every right to be. As I said, raising eight children pretty much on herself amid the clicking tongues of the neighbourhood. People often called us those Stevens, not the Stevens. She taught me that it is who you are that is important, not your circumstances. Whatever you do, never lose yourself and don’t ever let anybody take you from you. I’m sure there were times when she would have liked to have had a higher social position, but that never affected how high she held her head. She did her best and she was proud of that.

She always had a saying for everything. They could be summed in “a little bit of praise goes a long way.” She was far from perfect, but what she lacked in perfection, she made up in originality.

Finally, she taught me the difference between education and wisdom. She encouraged me to stay in school and get a university degree. While she had no idea what an education would do for me, she was fully aware that not having one would limit the choices you have in life. To understand that takes wisdom.

She had little education; she had a lot of wisdom.