Our Father

As a kid, I used to go to Sunday school at the nearest Baptist church. I didn’t go to church. With all of the energy I had, that meant sitting still for an hour and there was no way I could do that. Anyway, at Sunday school I could ask questions. I did – lots of them.

I remember filling in the lesson manuals they gave us. Some of the questions were so obvious in their intent. One asked what you would do if your brother hit you. The choices were answers like: forgive him, pray for him, tell a parent, interspersed with get back at him and hit him. Let’s just say that some of my answers were slightly different than the other kids.

It used to bug me when some of the students would give the “churchy” answers for the teacher when I knew their heart was much different away from the class.

Once in awhile we used to say The Lord’s Prayer, which begins with the words, Our Father. I remember explaining to my Sunday school teacher that I had trouble saying these words. I would have rather said, “Our Jim,” or “Our Fred.” The concept of a father to me was somebody who left our home every weekend. I didn’t want the love of somebody who left me all of the time.

My teacher gently explained to me that when we said the words, Our Father, it meant the perfect father. My reply was that I had no idea what a perfect father would be like. I only knew the one I had.

Through the years I observed my brothers and other men being parents. Some did better than others, but I became more aware of what a father could be like. Since I have never been a father, I still don’t have first-hand knowledge. I think I have a pretty good handle on it, though. Here is what I have learned:
1. A good father tells you like it is. His intent is to build you up, not to tear you down, but your life has to be built on reality. That means that the building must be done to code, which may mean getting rid of shoddy work. He is honest.
2. A good father talks the talk and walks the talk, too. You can trust the person you see every day is the same one everybody does. You can count on a good father. His life is an example for you to see.
3. A good father shows his love to you through his words and actions. Merely saying, “I love you,” isn’t enough.
4. A good father wants to be with you and has an interest in your life.
5. A good father is not trying to be your best friend. He is trying to be your father. That might mean opposing you strongly when he knows you are doing something that is not in your best interest.
6. A good father is honourable. He honours you. He honours your family. He honours his wife.
7. A good father seems to know when to let go and when to hold on. When you fall, he helps by showing you how to get up. He usually doesn’t just get you standing up again.
8. A good father builds a relationship with his children. He doesn’t just “have” them.

There’s my list, but you might want to leave a comment on some of your insights on being a good father. You may be helping others, so please comment or add to what I have written.

As a teacher, I often think of my students. Some of them don’t have dads or moms. Others have fathers who are poor role models. I trust that they will discover some of the things I have.