Mistaken Identity

That John Stevens is a real pest! I don’t mean myself, although I can be a pain at times. It’s those other guys with the same name. They seem to get in the way all of the time.

Every time I have bought a house, the lawyers have had to smooth things over because somebody with the name of John Stevens has done something wrong.

This past week, he came into my life once more. This time it was at the American border at Port Huron.

The customs officer swiped my passport through the reader and my name was immediately flagged. She immediately said that it couldn’t be me, though, because the other John Stevens is a black male. If you look at my picture to the left, you will see that I am definitely not black. That was the good news. The bad news was that I would still have to go through the paperwork inside, even though they knew that it wasn’t me. I don’t quite understand why, but I’ve learned that there are times when it is better not to ask questions.

I was escorted to the customs office. It was little comfort that, like American Express customers, I was taken to the front of the line. The process added a half an hour to the trip. An agent by the name of Mazur poked around at the keyboard, occasionally stopping to read the screen and saying very little. My guess is that he was playing some video game to look busy.

I found all the things that the other John Stevens and I didn’t have in common. I have never been to Seattle. I am a bit older. I am not black, although Mazur jokingly asked me if I had ever been black. He also smiled when he suggested that I might think of changing my name. “Like to Mazur?” I replied with a grin.

Now, I wouldn’t be that concerned if this was the only occurrence, but in the last 4 years I have been detained at borders on 5 different occasions. The only fear I have is that one time the match may be too close.