No Is Not So Negative

It is one of the first words that babies learn. Sometimes they learn it too well. In fact, I have thought that if it were harder to say, we would have more accord in the world.

I grew up associating the word no with rejection. I’d ask somebody for something and be absolutely crushed if the answer was no.

This only got worse as a teenager. I would long to ask somebody out, but wouldn’t. I couldn’t handle the possibility of being turned down. Often I would dial the person’s number and when the last digit was entered immediately hang up

Too many a Saturday night was spent alone when I could have been out enjoying myself and the company of others.

What I am going to tell you is so simple, yet it changed the way I look at many things.

Getting a no usually does not mean that you have lost anything. All it means is that you are at the same place you were before you asked.

You have nothing to do on a Saturday night. You decide to ask somebody out. She says no. Well, you are still at the point where you started, without anything to do on a Saturday night. But you haven’t lost anything. Those hours are still they to fill.

I have applied this to many parts of my life. If I want something, I ask for it. If I get it, great. If I don’t, then I am no worse off.

I have found this bit of wisdom is often coupled with the other nugget of truth is that people are usually quite willing to help others. Go ahead. Try it. Ask people if they will help you and many will say they will before they even know what you want. Even if they do know, most will consider listening to you if you ask.

So, here goes. I am screwing up my courage.

Will somebody give me a huge sum of money so I can make my living writing?

While my dream is that somebody will say yes, I’ll still be here grinding out my next article tomorrow.